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When I'm angry, why do I always feel the need to hurt myself?

311 Answers
Last Updated: 09/29/2019 at 4:47am
When I'm angry, why do I always feel the need to hurt myself?
★ This question about Self-Harm was starred by a moderator on 5/12/2016.
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Top Rated Answers
June 19th, 2015 4:51am
It's a way to canalize your pain. You rather feel physical pain than emotional/psychological pain because you feel that you can't handle your thoughts anymore.
July 15th, 2015 12:19am
When we let our emotions take control of our mind and body, we feel the urge to hur ourselves physically, so then the physical pain will be bigger than your feelings. But that doesn't work, because usually after you hurt yourself, the guilty feeling arrives and it just knocks everything down. So everything time you feel the need to hurt yourself try to do something you love, listen to music (but not something that could be a trigger), read your favorite book, watch your favorite movie/TV show, cuddle with your pet or a stuffed bear, and if you want to, cry, just cry those feelings out. Please, don't hurt yourself.
August 15th, 2015 3:42am
Anger is a strong emotion, one that can be quite dangerous. I always feel the need to hurt myself beause I need an escape, something to get all of the anger out. Self harm ohysically shows pain, cutting things is a way to relieve stress and anger. It's just unfortunate that we often look to our own bodies first before any other items.
August 16th, 2015 6:58pm
Sometimes it's a defensive mechanism. Maybe you feel like it's your fault and it triggers you to cause pain to yourself because you don't know how to solve the issue.
November 5th, 2016 9:57am
Whenever I'm angry I tend to have the urge to hurt myself. That's because I have the need to punish myself for failing. For getting people's hopes up. And for a billion more reasons.
July 12th, 2015 4:03pm
Generally in my experiences with self harm it was to forget the emotions I was going through and to distract myself from how I felt. Also, for me, when I was angry I wanted to hurt something and I chose to hurt myself because I felt like somehow I deserved the pain. But after a while of using self harm as a coping mechanism it became more like an addiction, where I was self harming over literally nothing but feeling a little bummed out.
July 15th, 2015 3:15am
Anger is often related to frustration. And when someone feels either of those, one starts to feel restless and confined. If you want to hurt yourself, it's because you feel like the thing you're angry about is your fault. When I feel angry and want to hurt myself, usually it's because I want to release my anger without breaking an object and without hurting others.
July 16th, 2015 4:13am
I think anger is one of the most controlling feelings you can have. Maybe when you're angry all the other emotions show up to the family reunion.
August 16th, 2015 11:53am
Anger can affect different people in different ways. If you feel that you need to hurt yourself when you're angry, you may need to learn a bit more about what makes you angry and ways to stay away from situations that make you angry. It also may be worth doing some research on different ways to manage anger for if the situation is unavoidable.
August 16th, 2015 11:55am
Because we've learnt to take out our anger on ourselves as that's the only option we've had left, but it's up to you to change that cycle. It's not easy, but it makes life so much easier.
January 6th, 2016 3:43am
Anger us a difficult emotion to feel and go through for most of us. Lashing out verbally or physically is what most people think of but for those of us who react inwardly and use methods such as self harm to cope it is common to express that anger by harming ourselves. Maybe it is impossible to direct our anger at the cause or we feel guilty for even feeling angry in the first place. Understanding and validating your feelings in the first place is important - why do you feel the way you do right now? Is there something you can do about the situation that angers you? Can you write an angry letter and dispose of it? Work through your thoughts and feelings? Talk it through with someone? Can you do some physical exercise work off that angry tension? Scream punch a pillow? Is there an alternative to self harming which may perpetuate your feelings? Anger as with all emotions is temporary its a wave - allow yourself the time, space and compassion to ride it out.
January 9th, 2016 6:24am
Sometimes, people are unable to control the things that trigger a person to feel upset. Harming yourself is something you can control, so I believe people harm themselves to feel more in control of themselves.
August 2nd, 2016 12:48am
Maybe without realizing it, you are angry at yourself and you feel like you can't take that anger out on anyone else. So your mind turns it on yourself, and you may want to "punish" yourself.
September 16th, 2016 12:25pm
because someone is hurting you and it feels as if you need to let the pain out so you will tend to want to put the pain into hurting yourself
September 29th, 2016 9:55am
Either the pain causes endorphines to block the feeling, creating an addiction, or because you feel guilty to have gotten angry with someone, or because you do feel like breaking the face of someone but in order not to break them you preffer to damage yourself, However you are not angry, you are peace,you are love, you are compassion ,you are undrstanding, and you by understanding yourself, you will realize, that you do not need to self harm not to harm anyone, if you know how to deal with the root of this anger.
June 21st, 2015 9:30am
I used to feel the need to hurt myself as an expression of how I felt inside. Sometimes, because of the built up of emotions, I would just have an outburst that resulted in a bad injury. The self harm was done during periods of extreme anger. I really think that we need to express how we feel and if we don't express tiny bits and pieces now and then, talk about what;s bothering us, our emotional problems, they might manifest sooner or later as a form of self harm.
July 4th, 2015 10:57am
You might feel the need to take the anger out on yourself due to the situation you're in and you might blame yourself and feel the need to punish yourself.
December 20th, 2015 12:10pm
In a life with disability, anger and resentment follow each other in a clouded thought that hurting myself is nearly a illusion. When I want to hurt myself, it's hollow. As an extremist to stay alive, my life becomes contentment and learning not to hurt myself has become a type of happiness.
December 26th, 2015 4:38pm
I think this is because we are angry with ourselves.. even if we don't know it. Furthermore, we don't want to hurt others so we hurt ourselves instead.
January 30th, 2016 2:23am
When Im angry, I feel the need to hurt myself. I think for me, its because its the only way I learned how to cope with the anger without hurting someone else.
January 30th, 2016 4:46pm
Self harm may be used as a form of control, especially if a person feels that they're in an uncontrollable situation. It might also calm the person, taking away the displeasure of experiencing intense emotions. I used to self harm whenever I became angry because I felt that it was a good way to release my emotions. It wasn't a very healthy outlet, and I should've found better ways to calm myself.
February 4th, 2016 7:14am
We tend to blame ourselves for problems we don't know how to fix which, ends up getting up frustrated. We think hurting ourselves will make our anger go away.
June 4th, 2016 2:56pm
When you're angry your mind always resorts to pain. You're feeling all this frustration and stress so whats a little more going to do to you? Harming yourself with absolutely never be the answer, but your mind might tell you that its the only way to relieve stress, but its most definitely not. Take a walk, talk to somebody, let it out, never resort to hurting yourself.
June 9th, 2016 11:54pm
It relieves mental pain to inflict physical pain. It helps you focus on somethinother than the fact that your upset.
June 13th, 2016 8:23am
It is common for people to have the urge to hit, hurt something when they're angry. The urge to hurt yourself means that you realizes that hurting others is not a good thig, but your craving is not satisfied. I suggest you to distract yourself, or writing all of your feelings, or just pouring it all out with your mouth.
October 12th, 2016 7:00pm
Because you think it's the only solution left, you dont feel the need to calm yourself or there is so much pain that consumes you
November 5th, 2016 4:03am
it is easier to hurt yourself than to hurt others.
July 12th, 2015 10:07am
Because you feel like it's the way to let your anger out. I used to hurt myself a lot because i thought it helped me feel better. But needless to say it was not worth it.
August 12th, 2015 5:04pm
It's natural to feel like you want to take your anger out on something and feel relieved afterwards, but there are safer and more effective ways of releasing your anger than harming yourself. For example, punching a pillow, going for a walk, exercising using equipment (e.g. in a gym), talking about your anger, or writing it down. :)
January 3rd, 2016 7:32am
I believe this deals with needing a way to channel through whatever you're going through. Anger is usually accompanied with violence, and in some cases, that violence to yourself alludes you believe you feel better. I recommend finding a new method, such as something like running, boxing, or meditating, to signal your feelings out.