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When I'm angry, why do I always feel the need to hurt myself?

311 Answers
Last Updated: 09/29/2019 at 4:47am
When I'm angry, why do I always feel the need to hurt myself?
★ This question about Self-Harm was starred by a moderator on 5/12/2016.
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Top Rated Answers
January 14th, 2016 9:46pm
I think you are looking for a way to let your anger out and if there is no one else around, you let it out on yourself.
January 21st, 2016 5:35pm
Because you feel like getting the anger out. Hurting is not a solution, instead talk it out. It helps
January 24th, 2016 11:25pm
When we get angry, there's always a reason that got us to that point, right? There's some sort of trigger that makes us think, " why in the heck does this have to happen to me?" The adrenaline that comes with anger, well it affects people differently. Some people want to hurt objects- or people- while others want to hurt themselves. It's just the pain of being hurt and wanting to focus it else where I suppose, but the truth of the matter is that it will never help you. All you're doing is causing yourself double the pain that had originally made you so irate. If you're angry, write it out. Write an angry, passionate letter and just keep typing until suddenly what caused that rage makes sense or you run out of reasons to explain why you're so angry. It's alright to not be content all the time, no one is, but don't settle for constant displeasure. Fight for yourself.
January 27th, 2016 10:23pm
Hurting yourself gives you some release. It makes you feel like you are in control because you cant control the pain or anger that you are feeling.
February 12th, 2016 4:44am
Hurting yourself is there to actually release the intense emotion that you have between yourself and the situation that makes you angry. I would instead try to take a couple of deep breaths and let the angry slow down before responding.
July 18th, 2016 11:08am
when you are angry you automatically want to let it out which is quite normal. some would like to show it on others while some would feel like breaking things...some people also feel like harming themselves as that anger would soon evaporate and sympathy on oneself would arise.
October 5th, 2016 2:36pm
I'm going to say this again. We except the pain we think we deserve. I know that I feel like this sometimes, but it's only normal to feel like that. Okay not normal, but it's okay I guess you could say. Some people have a hard time showing their feelings, like when we're mad we cry or want to hurt ourselves like you said
November 9th, 2016 1:19pm
You feel this way because you have nothing else to take it out on. And sometimes you may feel angry about yourself or think it is your problem for whatever had happened. Try getting a pillow, punching bag or a stress ball, or even talk it out with someone. Could be more helpful and leave you unharmed.
June 19th, 2015 2:10pm
You feel the need to hurt yourself because it feels like you have no other option and that it's the only way to cope with the way you are feeling
June 19th, 2015 5:26pm
That could be because you feel guilty for why you feel angry or you want to take your anger out on someone but don't want to hurt others. mental disorders could also be the cause so going to the doctors is best
June 20th, 2015 12:35pm
You're anger probably fuels that need. It happens to me as well so I can somewhat understand. Your thoughts always take part too.
June 21st, 2015 1:01am
Sometimes when you're angry, you may feel the need to hurt yourself because you need some sort of release.
June 21st, 2015 4:42pm
You can feel the need to hurt yourself when you're angry to release some of that emotion on yourself. Some people do it to feel calm, or level but there are better ways of calming down than injuring yourself.
June 24th, 2015 4:10am
For some people, holding in their anger doesn't work for them. They feel the need to express it, whether verbally or physically. Sometimes they express it outwards, to others or objects, and some express it towards themselves, through self mutilation. most of the time because they feel like they deserve it and the only way to feel better is to harm themselves, whether its by cutting, burning, throwing up, starving themselves, or any other way. If that's how you do it than you are not alone, but there are people out there who want to help you because it will get worse it you don't try to control it.
June 24th, 2015 11:43pm
Whenever we are angry or agitated, some of us need to feel some sort of release. Therefore we turn to coping skills. Sometimes, we may turn to negative ways to cope such as hurting ourselves. This is completely normal. The way we can resolve this is to come up with positive ways to cope with our emotions, and there are a TON of things to do. Check out the 7 Cups "Managing Emotions" Self Help Guide.
June 25th, 2015 7:05am
Anger is a natural response and so is hurting yourself with this emotion- it simply means you care enough not to hurt those you may love although different alternatives should be in place to avoid hurting yourself.
June 25th, 2015 5:35pm
Well it is a type of coping strategy. It is common to feel that way, and a possibility to redirect that anger. Hurting yourself, in some people, releases endorphin and gives a sense of relief. Which could explain why it becomes a cycle and they keep hurting themselves. There are many reasons to start, and if you already have, their are guides to manage those emotions. Journaling negative emotions at that time or taking 5 minutes may help to control those urges as well as activities like art and exercise. There is always another way.
June 25th, 2015 6:05pm
Hurting one self when they have intense emotions is one way we cope with things. In my opinion it shows that you don't want to hurt anyone and you care deeply enough to not hurt someone.
June 26th, 2015 7:28pm
Your so angry and so hurt, towards that person or thing that hurt you. Yet you don't want to take anger out on that person.. So you harm yourself, hoping it will make everything go away, that pain the anger, hurt.
June 27th, 2015 4:52am
because you feel the need to take the angry out on something which ends up being yourself. maybe try different ways to cope with your anger in a non harming way
June 27th, 2015 12:06pm
People feel that when they are angry they need to hurt them self because they feel its a way to calm them self or to 'stop the pain' but it is not healthy and its a reaction your brain has when you get angry.
June 28th, 2015 6:09pm
Because you feel like you need to punish someone for your anger, sometimes it is ourself, because we don't understand how can we get so angry all of sudden.
July 1st, 2015 1:40am
Self-harm is an unhealthy way to cope with overwhelming emotions. It can bring us back into the real world, and get us out of our heads. However, there are other methods of dealing with sadness, anger, and anxiety that are actually beneficial, such as journaling, meditating, exercising, etc. If you ever even feel the need to hurt yourself, tell someone trustworthy, and see what you can do about speaking with a mental health professional. Hurting yourself is not an answer.
July 1st, 2015 2:06am
Sometimes when people feel angry and they don't think it is acceptable to express that anger outward, they will turn the anger inward and self harm.
July 8th, 2015 7:00am
You don't want to hurt others so instead you hurt yourself, you like the pain, you think that if you hurt yourself, no one else will get hurt
January 22nd, 2016 10:00pm
Self harm is sometimes used as a way to express what you're feeling when you can't put it into words. You might be able to look at your scars and say "look, this is how I was feeling at that moment". Through the act of self-harm, a feeling that is too overwhelming for one person to comprehend gets expressed on their own body. But there are other ways. There is so much more than pain to all the emotions you're feeling. Please reach out to someone.
January 31st, 2016 9:00pm
Usually when a person is angry and they want to hurt themselves its mostly because they cant take their anger out elsewhere. When you get angry and feel that need, writing the thoughts and the feelings down helped me a lot when i was going through that same problem, after i wrote it down if i was still angry i would flush the paper in bits down the toilet and i would be calm by then. If you do not flush it down the toilet you could always keep a journal where you have all the times you have been mad.
February 6th, 2016 8:52pm
What you state is a great feeling of helplessness. Try channeling that helplessness using a stress ball or performing tasks breathing .
February 10th, 2016 5:28pm
This might be because self harm releases endorphin's that tend to relieve you and make you feel more relaxed. It may also be because you feel like whatever has angered you was your fault so you take it out on yourself.
February 11th, 2016 2:27am
This is because you wish to punish yourself for your actions. No matter what scenario or circumstances an individual faces it is ultimately their response of whether to feel anger or not, and punish yourself accordingly.