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When I'm angry, why do I always feel the need to hurt myself?

311 Answers
Last Updated: 09/29/2019 at 4:47am
When I'm angry, why do I always feel the need to hurt myself?
★ This question about Self-Harm was starred by a moderator on 5/12/2016.
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Top Rated Answers
ari88
May 17th, 2016 6:10pm
Self-harm may have become your automatic reaction to any kind of situations, whether it is to relieve pain or to give yourself more pain because you think you deserve it.
KristenHR
June 5th, 2016 9:48am
Sometimes when I've experienced anger, it's because I made what I thought was a big mistake. So I'm upset with myself. Maybe I'm embarrassed or experiencing a memory of being told in the past that I was an embarrassment. There have been times that the desire to punish myself was the thing I needed to do. So I'd hurt myself. At other times, I didn't want to feel that emotion, so I'd hurt myself. There could be a lot of reasons that someone might hurt themselves when angry, but in my experience it is the emotions under the anger that are creating the feeling that i need to hurt me.
SkylinePainter
June 7th, 2016 11:10am
I think its a way to cope with all the feelings inside of you and letting them out and making yourself feeling more relax. When you don't know how to make yourself feel better na dletting out all that anger, you feel like you want to hurt yourself. Especially if you have thoughts of being failed in life or have bad confidence all that anger inside of you turns against yourself.
Anonymous
June 9th, 2016 8:46am
Sometimes we need to express that angry energy, so it can come out in many forms. Physical excertion releases this, but if that is unavailable we sometimes turn to other things, such as self harm, to "numb" this pain/anger.
BlackLoverTanya
September 11th, 2016 5:03pm
For my personal experiences I think it's because you're desperated, you are filled with anger and stress and you probably have no one to blame it on or you don't know who to blame for your bad mood. So you blame yourself. Or you don't even know why are you so angry and that makes you feel even more mad at you. You don't think straight and you feel like everything's your fault.
highoffesme
October 2nd, 2016 7:56pm
I think the same way it's just natural I tend to just think positive and keep my head up and so should you love because no matter what your special in else's someone's eyes
Anonymous
October 12th, 2016 10:28pm
I think that for a lot of people, the pain distracts them from whatever is really bothering them. For me, it wasn't really like that, but more of a stress release so that I could focus on something that wasn't hurting me so much. I felt a lot more emotional than physical pain.
Anonymous
October 13th, 2016 12:58pm
You feel angry but mostly from yourself. Things that triggered your anger may somehow be connected about you.
wonderfulWaterfall86
October 21st, 2016 3:34pm
You feel the need to hurt yourself because you need to take out your aggression in some form. Hurting yourself is not the safest way to get your anger out. I suggest breathing exercises or taking part in an activity that you find joyful.
EstellaListens
October 22nd, 2016 6:20am
I understand this feeling very well and battle with it quite often myself. Based on my experiences, I feel like the anger comes from a place of misguided self-defense. It may be a mechanism you are putting in place to not have to deal with the anger. When you are angry, do you also feel any secondary emotions? Sometimes a person can feel guilty for their rage.. like it is wrong or pointless in some way. Instead of facing an issue that seems too daunting and seemingly impossible to deal with, we respond by hurting ourselves to beat back the overflow of emotions. Some people do it to calm themselves as pain may give you a feelings of "resetting" your mind and emotions. Some people self harm to feel again when you are feeling cold or numb inside. I have also heard that some people self harm to stop themselves from lashing out at others whether physically or verbally. Maybe inside, you feel like you deserve the pain. But trust me, you don't. The need to hurt yourself may be strong but it is definitely not right. There are many coping methods out there and hopefully both of us can find a method that will help us handle our emotions.
Christlime66
October 23rd, 2016 10:29pm
Anger normally results in the need to hurt something because taking your anger out on something help calms you down. If you're the kind of person that does not like to hurt others or you're a masochist, you will probably feel the need to hurt yourself.
Anonymous
November 5th, 2016 10:05pm
When you get angry, your body releases hormones that make you very emotional. You will try and do anything that will take your mind off of it and release your anger. Often, the satisfaction of hurting yourself will encourage yourself to do it again. Overcoming this is difficult, but the best way is by releasing your anger somewhere else, perhaps by drawing or doing something else you love.
VandaQ
November 25th, 2016 10:25am
Anger is a very powerful emotion that cannot always be controlled by one's mind. Bottling up anger and not looking for healthy ways of dealing with it might result in your mind looking for any possible way of release. In this case, hurting yourself. It is always wise and safe to learn how to deal with powerful emotions like anger, before the tension accumulated could result in extreme acts.
Anonymous
December 2nd, 2016 3:20pm
If you are angry, you probably think that hurting yourself will take way the emotional pain. You resort to physical pain when you no longer want to feel emotional pain.
JoyfulBridges
December 8th, 2016 1:39pm
In some cases, it's because you feel to need to punish yourself. In others, it's your cope mechanism, or a way to deal with something. If that's the case, I'd recommend finding a different way to deal with your problems rather than hurting yourself.
kikiriki7
December 30th, 2016 1:46am
When we don't feel we're worth being expressed, we tend to impress ourselves negatively using pain, because that's what we sometimes feel we deserve. With this low self-esteem, anger brings along with it negative impacts, such as self-harm.
Mila76
January 19th, 2017 2:54am
When people get angry, we mainly get the idea that we aren't worth much. I strongly suggest though you don't harm yourself in any way because you will eventually look back on it and regret harming yourself when you're mad. The best thing to do is to calm yourself down first, and reflect on what made you mad just so you know why it's not worth harming yourself.
sunshineLove51
January 26th, 2017 5:57am
I think you feel the need to hurt yourself because the physical pain hurts a lot less than the emotion and mental pain you feel inside. But hurting yourself is never the answer and there is always a more beneficial and helpful way to cope with those harsh feelings.
Anonymous
March 22nd, 2017 12:45am
Because you don't know how to deal with the anger. Everything inside of you is burning and because you don't know how to let it out, you choose to hurt yourself, imagining that all the anger is fading away. The pain actually calms you down.
PikachuTheDoge
March 29th, 2017 1:55am
I used to feel the same way when I would be angry. I realized it was because I was angry at myself than I was angry at anything else so all I wanted to do was cause myself more pain than anything else. Take a step back and think about it clearer now, are you angry at yourself or at something else?
Anonymous
August 13th, 2018 2:53pm
for me,hurting myself is when i’m really angry or overwhelmed. And i think people don’t want to think about it or feel this heavy feeling in our chests and just hurt ourselves as a distraction.
Anonymous
November 20th, 2018 1:15am
It is a way to release pain and emotions. Sometimes the buildup is just too much. It’s a very unhealthy coping mechanism, but still, it’s a coping mechanism. The endorphin rush and the pain can help slice through the emotions you are feeling. I know from personal experience but it is a way for me to feel something, anything. It helps with the numbness and it offers a release like no other. It’s heartbreaking yet we do it. It’s a testament to our pain. It is almost a means of punishment for the hate we are harboring. It’s sad, yet we do it for comfort.
Anonymous
May 23rd, 2015 6:32am
It is not easy to cope,for those who have been fighting a long time even themselves dont have any new ways to deal with it. So we get stressed and start to tremble and thats when we start destroying ourselves,to destroy the monster inside of us.
Anonymous
June 18th, 2015 7:57pm
I always had a really hard time accepting my anger and taking it out on myself seemed like an outlet that wouldn't hurt other people. So I do know that in my own case, over time, I taught myself that the only place to take out my anger was on my skin. It turned my anger into physical pain and physical pain is something that I knew how to deal with.
Anonymous
June 19th, 2015 3:17am
With Anger comes rage , and rage can make us do a lot of things that we can soon regret. So its important to sometimes take a deep breath count to 10 and then rethink the situation.
MadilynRose
June 19th, 2015 5:01am
When we're angry, we tend to want to channel our anger. It might be that you're blaming yourself, and that you want to punish yourself. It's never healthy to hurt yourself, though, and it would be a good idea to try to find some other coping skills to use when you feel angry and have urges!
jtmort1988
June 19th, 2015 9:19am
Hurting yourself is a tell tale sign of anger. You may be feeling an enormous amount of emotion but have no release.
remembertodanceintherain
June 19th, 2015 9:50am
Because you feel you deserve it or maybe just want to take it out on something try screaming into a pillow instead I have done it and it helps
originalLion57
June 19th, 2015 8:15pm
Some people react outwardly when they're angry, by yelling and being aggressive and showing their emotions in their facial expressions or by the tone of their voices etc... others tend to turn the anger towards themselves and into themselves and sometimes suppress their emotions and when you do that, eventually your feelings will creep up to the surface again and be expressed in other and often destructive ways... which can be eating disorders and self harming etc. So you need to stop suppressing your thoughts and emotions, even though it's incredibly difficult and you might need professional help to get through it (which isn't a bad thing at all, it's only good to know when to ask for help) or get support from friends and/or family if there's anyone there who could provide that for you.
eliza27
June 20th, 2015 3:12am
it may just be a way of coping with your issues, like punching a pillow and pretending it's someone's face. although, self-harm is never a good thing. if you do self harm you may need professional help or a bit of guidance into other ways of coping.