When I'm angry, why do I always feel the need to hurt myself?
316 Answers
Last Updated: 03/20/2022 at 8:30pm
★ This question about Self-Harm was starred by a moderator on 5/12/2016.
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Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
June 24th, 2015 4:45am
It releases endorphins, they cause a sort of high. It makes you feel relieved. Instead of hurting yourself, perhaps try punching a punching bag or screaming into your pillow.
because you feel the need to take the angry out on something which ends up being yourself. maybe try different ways to cope with your anger in a non harming way
Anonymous
June 26th, 2015 8:59pm
From experience, we might feel this way because we're used to keeping things in, and we don't want to get them out on someone, even if they're the reason we're angry. So the negative feelings build up and we feel the need to relieve the pain in some cases, or punish our selves in others. It varies from person to person. Hopefully one day everyone will find a way to cope with anger and other unpleasant feelings in more constructive ways. Be safe everyone.
Hurting yourself can be a form of addiction. It is best if you talk to a psychologist or psychiatrist. But if you can't, please find me or another listener to talk to. Many of us understand what it is like. It's not easy, but we can beat it.
maybe because you are angry and feel the need to hurt something, and feeling the need to bring physical pain to yourself to cure your anger
Anonymous
September 29th, 2019 4:47am
for me most of the time it's relating about my family issues when i'm angry or sad i have the need to feel pain so i would scratch or choke myself while i harm myself i think of ways to kill myself and how no one would ever care if i were to die cause i'm so frustrated. that makes me feel good because i like self pity, it brings me joy and pain at the same time. this intense emotion of sadness hit me but i like it. when i feel like this i can't seem to shake the thought and urge of harming myself away
Hurting one self when they have intense emotions is one way we cope with things. In my opinion it shows that you don't want to hurt anyone and you care deeply enough to not hurt someone.
Well it is a type of coping strategy. It is common to feel that way, and a possibility to redirect that anger. Hurting yourself, in some people, releases endorphin and gives a sense of relief. Which could explain why it becomes a cycle and they keep hurting themselves. There are many reasons to start, and if you already have, their are guides to manage those emotions. Journaling negative emotions at that time or taking 5 minutes may help to control those urges as well as activities like art and exercise. There is always another way.
Anonymous
June 25th, 2015 7:05am
Anger is a natural response and so is hurting yourself with this emotion- it simply means you care enough not to hurt those you may love although different alternatives should be in place to avoid hurting yourself.
Anonymous
June 18th, 2015 7:57pm
I always had a really hard time accepting my anger and taking it out on myself seemed like an outlet that wouldn't hurt other people. So I do know that in my own case, over time, I taught myself that the only place to take out my anger was on my skin. It turned my anger into physical pain and physical pain is something that I knew how to deal with.
Anonymous
June 24th, 2015 11:43pm
Whenever we are angry or agitated, some of us need to feel some sort of release. Therefore we turn to coping skills. Sometimes, we may turn to negative ways to cope such as hurting ourselves. This is completely normal. The way we can resolve this is to come up with positive ways to cope with our emotions, and there are a TON of things to do. Check out the 7 Cups "Managing Emotions" Self Help Guide. https://www.7cups.com/help-managing-emotions/
Anonymous
June 19th, 2015 3:17am
With Anger comes rage , and rage can make us do a lot of things that we can soon regret. So its important to sometimes take a deep breath count to 10 and then rethink the situation.
Self-harm can cause the temporary release of a neurochemical that relieves stress (but then it fades)
When we're angry, we tend to want to channel our anger. It might be that you're blaming yourself, and that you want to punish yourself. It's never healthy to hurt yourself, though, and it would be a good idea to try to find some other coping skills to use when you feel angry and have urges!
Hurting yourself is a tell tale sign of anger. You may be feeling an enormous amount of emotion but have no release.
Because you feel you deserve it or maybe just want to take it out on something try screaming into a pillow instead I have done it and it helps
I have emotions built up inside of me, only knowing one way to let them out. The release is what we get addicted to, really, because we crave the feeling. It's hard to express anything any other way after that point. You feel like you won't be accepted, even more so because of this, if you already were before. You feel all alone, with no one else understanding what you're going through, and that's understandable. But it also isn't true. I'm here, and so are SO many others who genuinely care and want to listen, to help.
Anonymous
June 20th, 2015 12:35pm
You're anger probably fuels that need. It happens to me as well so I can somewhat understand. Your thoughts always take part too.
Answer one of these questions:
-Instead of hurting others?
- The torment of conscience?
- lost the understanding that you are still alive, and capable of moving forward and producing benefit to the world?
Because the physical pain overcomes the emotional pain and anger you're going through. You want to ease your mind and the mind thinks that is the only way out at that moment. It's a common reaction from the brain. Try to find alternatives, like venting by writing or drawing, to keep your mind away from self-harm.
Anonymous
June 20th, 2015 4:39am
Your brain needs a way to get out your frustration, you can seek help to get out your frustration in a healthy manner.
it may just be a way of coping with your issues, like punching a pillow and pretending it's someone's face. although, self-harm is never a good thing. if you do self harm you may need professional help or a bit of guidance into other ways of coping.
Some people react outwardly when they're angry, by yelling and being aggressive and showing their emotions in their facial expressions or by the tone of their voices etc... others tend to turn the anger towards themselves and into themselves and sometimes suppress their emotions and when you do that, eventually your feelings will creep up to the surface again and be expressed in other and often destructive ways... which can be eating disorders and self harming etc. So you need to stop suppressing your thoughts and emotions, even though it's incredibly difficult and you might need professional help to get through it (which isn't a bad thing at all, it's only good to know when to ask for help) or get support from friends and/or family if there's anyone there who could provide that for you.
Anonymous
June 21st, 2015 1:01am
Sometimes when you're angry, you may feel the need to hurt yourself because you need some sort of release.
Anonymous
June 21st, 2015 4:42pm
You can feel the need to hurt yourself when you're angry to release some of that emotion on yourself. Some people do it to feel calm, or level but there are better ways of calming down than injuring yourself.
Anonymous
June 24th, 2015 4:10am
For some people, holding in their anger doesn't work for them. They feel the need to express it, whether verbally or physically. Sometimes they express it outwards, to others or objects, and some express it towards themselves, through self mutilation. most of the time because they feel like they deserve it and the only way to feel better is to harm themselves, whether its by cutting, burning, throwing up, starving themselves, or any other way. If that's how you do it than you are not alone, but there are people out there who want to help you because it will get worse it you don't try to control it.
Anonymous
June 24th, 2015 3:26am
Because we tend to internalise our anger and think that we need to be punished somehow for feeling that way.
Sometimes when we don't know how to control our emotions or have my way to channel those feelings physical harm seems like a "release" to let all those emotions out, but there are other, safer and more beneficial options out there. There are many coping tools available, instead try closing your eyes and counting to ten, then back down to 1, focus on your breathing and as you exhale imagine the negative feelings being released as well....hope this helps.
Anonymous
October 13th, 2016 12:58pm
You feel angry but mostly from yourself. Things that triggered your anger may somehow be connected about you.
Anonymous
June 19th, 2015 2:10pm
You feel the need to hurt yourself because it feels like you have no other option and that it's the only way to cope with the way you are feeling
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