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When I'm angry, why do I always feel the need to hurt myself?

311 Answers
Last Updated: 09/29/2019 at 4:47am
When I'm angry, why do I always feel the need to hurt myself?
★ This question about Self-Harm was starred by a moderator on 5/12/2016.
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Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
June 20th, 2015 4:39am
Your brain needs a way to get out your frustration, you can seek help to get out your frustration in a healthy manner.
TheCup
June 20th, 2015 9:52am
Answer one of these questions: -Instead of hurting others? - The torment of conscience? - lost the understanding that you are still alive, and capable of moving forward and producing benefit to the world?
SandyCheeks
June 20th, 2015 5:14pm
Because the physical pain overcomes the emotional pain and anger you're going through. You want to ease your mind and the mind thinks that is the only way out at that moment. It's a common reaction from the brain. Try to find alternatives, like venting by writing or drawing, to keep your mind away from self-harm.
Anonymous
June 20th, 2015 6:28pm
well I hear a reason there, you are angry when this thought goes through your head, it seems you would maybe want to hurt yourself to stop yourself being angry maybe? take the anger away?
Loveyourself22
June 21st, 2015 7:52am
I have emotions built up inside of me, only knowing one way to let them out. The release is what we get addicted to, really, because we crave the feeling. It's hard to express anything any other way after that point. You feel like you won't be accepted, even more so because of this, if you already were before. You feel all alone, with no one else understanding what you're going through, and that's understandable. But it also isn't true. I'm here, and so are SO many others who genuinely care and want to listen, to help.
Iknome2
June 22nd, 2015 8:01am
Sometimes when we don't know how to control our emotions or have my way to channel those feelings physical harm seems like a "release" to let all those emotions out, but there are other, safer and more beneficial options out there. There are many coping tools available, instead try closing your eyes and counting to ten, then back down to 1, focus on your breathing and as you exhale imagine the negative feelings being released as well....hope this helps.
Anonymous
June 24th, 2015 3:26am
Because we tend to internalise our anger and think that we need to be punished somehow for feeling that way.
Anonymous
June 24th, 2015 4:45am
It releases endorphins, they cause a sort of high. It makes you feel relieved. Instead of hurting yourself, perhaps try punching a punching bag or screaming into your pillow.
GentleMom
June 24th, 2015 12:57pm
Self-harm can cause the temporary release of a neurochemical that relieves stress (but then it fades)
Anonymous
June 24th, 2015 6:24pm
Anger can trigger emotions to mix up and overwhelm you. I certainly advise seeking help from someone.
Anonymous
June 25th, 2015 3:17am
Self harm is a negative coping mechanism but their a lot of better ways, punch a pillow, go for a vigorous run or walk and practice deep breathing!!
Anonymous
June 25th, 2015 5:02am
I think it's because you want to hurt something but you can't so you choose to hurt your self instead. If you want to hurt your self why not just paint the parts you want to hurt
sunflowerKate
June 25th, 2015 9:33pm
Human emotion finds a way to cope with things differently in each person. You feel the need to hurt yourself because you feel that is your way of coping with the emotion. Check out our managing emotions tab in the self help guides to better understand this. Thanks for your question!
AngleTYBarakatx
June 26th, 2015 3:44am
maybe because you are angry and feel the need to hurt something, and feeling the need to bring physical pain to yourself to cure your anger
JustLiveAndLetLive
June 26th, 2015 9:13am
Hurting yourself can be a form of addiction. It is best if you talk to a psychologist or psychiatrist. But if you can't, please find me or another listener to talk to. Many of us understand what it is like. It's not easy, but we can beat it.
Anonymous
June 26th, 2015 8:59pm
From experience, we might feel this way because we're used to keeping things in, and we don't want to get them out on someone, even if they're the reason we're angry. So the negative feelings build up and we feel the need to relieve the pain in some cases, or punish our selves in others. It varies from person to person. Hopefully one day everyone will find a way to cope with anger and other unpleasant feelings in more constructive ways. Be safe everyone.
Anonymous
June 27th, 2015 12:39pm
Because it is your way of coping, it is a bad coping method and I suggest turning that anger into a positive productive creation
theknight1
June 27th, 2015 3:44pm
يمكنني التغلب على كل المشاكل النفسية , بأستخدام التفكير المنطقي , وجعل الهدف في الحياة ليس العيش فقط , و إنما اكثر من ذلك ..
AcornCactus
June 27th, 2015 8:16pm
Because it's so easy to blame yourself! You don't want to burst out on anyone else either, because the risks to hurting their feelings, which also leads you feel horrible
Anonymous
June 28th, 2015 2:49am
Maybe is just the need of feeling something that replaces the old empty formula of anger, then pain takes the role as a drug, it becames the only single desire of releasing the anger in that very moment were dispair leads you'r thoughts.
AmyMagdy16
June 28th, 2015 5:37am
because you think in negative way .. Try to positive and think about happy things and search about the hopeful .
Frankie9
June 28th, 2015 8:37am
Part of the anger could be aimed at yourself. If thats the case, than you would want to take your anger out on yourself. That could be in the form of hurting yourself.
aShhhley
June 28th, 2015 3:10pm
I've gone through the same myself. Personally, I know it stems from my need to get rid of some of the anger. Some people bite pillows, some people break things, other people, like myself, don't like to be destructive, so we turn the anger onto ourselves. It's a way to make sure you don't hurt anyone or anything else, and the endorphins often help to calm you down. I've come to learn there are plenty of other healthy ways to cope with the anger aside from hurting yourself!
Anonymous
July 1st, 2015 3:05am
You are in major depression, and it will make you want to hurt yourself, but in the end you will regret it.
SoulfullAshley
July 1st, 2015 9:02am
Some people see it as some sort of outlet. A way that they can control what they are feeling. Maybe you are one of them. You just have to learn to control your anger.
Anonymous
July 1st, 2015 3:58pm
It is like another way of telling yourself, "This is my punishment" or "It is better to hurt myself than others."
Anonymous
July 1st, 2015 10:56pm
You don't need to hurt yourself, you just think you need. Listen some music, eat chocolate, go out with some friends. That will help you :D
ILOVEYOUBB
July 2nd, 2015 1:16am
You may feel the need to hurt yourself because when you do, a hormone is released inside you. It can become addicting. It also gives self harmers temporary relief. I do not recomend hurting yourself, as it can become addicting.
DevinT7
July 2nd, 2015 4:31am
I've found that hurting myself can feel like a way to express extreme negative emotions that I don't know how to handle. In a way, the physical pain I experienced was both a release from the anger and acknowledgment of what I was feeling. I could take the anger out on myself so that I wouldn't hurt anyone else or damage something. It was a way I could deal with the anger immediately to try to alleviate it.
LoveHateAppreciate
July 2nd, 2015 4:32am
do not feel that need to hurt myself when angry. I do however have a problem with violence towards others. I also have a problem being very aggressive and offensive towards others when I become angry.