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When I'm angry, why do I always feel the need to hurt myself?

316 Answers
Last Updated: 03/20/2022 at 8:30pm
When I'm angry, why do I always feel the need to hurt myself?
★ This question about Self-Harm was starred by a moderator on 5/12/2016.
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Tracy-Kate Teleke, PsyD, M.A., LMFT

Marriage & Family Therapist

I assist adults and couples in CA experiencing relationship challenges and interpersonal struggles including anxiety, depression, and a myriad of other life challenges.

Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
June 25th, 2015 3:17am
Self harm is a negative coping mechanism but their a lot of better ways, punch a pillow, go for a vigorous run or walk and practice deep breathing!!
Anonymous
June 25th, 2015 5:02am
I think it's because you want to hurt something but you can't so you choose to hurt your self instead. If you want to hurt your self why not just paint the parts you want to hurt
sunflowerKate
June 25th, 2015 9:33pm
Human emotion finds a way to cope with things differently in each person. You feel the need to hurt yourself because you feel that is your way of coping with the emotion. Check out our managing emotions tab in the self help guides to better understand this. Thanks for your question!
Anonymous
June 27th, 2015 12:39pm
Because it is your way of coping, it is a bad coping method and I suggest turning that anger into a positive productive creation
theknight1
June 27th, 2015 3:44pm
يمكنني التغلب على كل المشاكل النفسية , بأستخدام التفكير المنطقي , وجعل الهدف في الحياة ليس العيش فقط , و إنما اكثر من ذلك ..
AmyMagdy16
June 28th, 2015 5:37am
because you think in negative way .. Try to positive and think about happy things and search about the hopeful .
Frankie9
June 28th, 2015 8:37am
Part of the anger could be aimed at yourself. If thats the case, than you would want to take your anger out on yourself. That could be in the form of hurting yourself.
Anonymous
July 1st, 2015 3:05am
You are in major depression, and it will make you want to hurt yourself, but in the end you will regret it.
Anonymous
July 1st, 2015 10:56pm
You don't need to hurt yourself, you just think you need. Listen some music, eat chocolate, go out with some friends. That will help you :D
LoveHateAppreciate
July 2nd, 2015 4:32am
do not feel that need to hurt myself when angry. I do however have a problem with violence towards others. I also have a problem being very aggressive and offensive towards others when I become angry.
Anonymous
July 2nd, 2015 6:31pm
Sometimes when we are angry, we blame ourselves for not being able to control our emotions and because there is this adrenaline that is also happening, we need to take it out somehow and safest place? Ourselves.
Ria1234
July 2nd, 2015 11:26pm
Because your emotions are overwhelmed and your body is overfilled with your hormones. Also the fact that when your angry the adrenaline is up to the max! But try not to hurt yourself! Stay positive!
LyricalBabin
July 3rd, 2015 1:31am
Maybe because you have all this anger built up you feel the need to get rid of it some how without hurting others . But hurting yourself is just as bad . Try hitting pillows or drawing out your emotions .
Jillian1212
July 3rd, 2015 3:58am
in my personal experience, when im angry and i hurt myself, there is such a large release of hormones that it instantly releases my anger and anxiety. but only for a very short time, because then i get angry and anxious about the injuring.
Anonymous
July 3rd, 2015 2:01pm
To put it simply, your anger is a trigger. A trigger is something that makes you want to hurt yourself, triggers can be all sorts of things, they can be songs or places or pictures or a story, or feelings. It's a way of releasing your anger and taking it out on yourself.
thedancerwithin
July 3rd, 2015 5:35pm
Sometimes it's when we feel powerless to confront others with our feelings that we channel the anger inwards, hence taking out the frustrations on ourselves. Perhaps voicing your feelings in a calm manner can help the other person to understand your anger and help yourself feel validated.
Anonymous
July 3rd, 2015 11:41pm
Self harm is an addiction. When you self harm, a chemical is released in your brain and it relives emotional pain. So when you're angry, self harming eases your anger. But, everytime you self harm, it will become harder and harder to stop.
maskedanonymous
July 4th, 2015 4:08pm
Because you want to transfer the heavy feeling, the pain, the anger to something else. You want to transfer the emotional pain into physical pain because it the pain of it stays temporarily.
Anonymous
July 4th, 2015 7:07pm
The person that made you feel this way wants you to be like this but you have to fight the urge to hurt yourself.
stronger10
July 4th, 2015 11:36pm
Hurting ourselves allows us to externalize our anger. It is often easier to deal with physical pain than emotional pain. Sometimes, we may also feel as though we deserve to hurt ourselves because of how we feel.
Anonymous
July 5th, 2015 5:54am
well it's because when you are angry you want to let it all out and the only person who is approachable it's only you although its not the right way to let it all out on your own self .
Anonymous
July 5th, 2015 1:41pm
I think it is about feeling in control of something. If you are angry, you want to be able to do something about it, you want to control the anger, so you have the urge to hurt yourself.
HopeDaviss07
July 5th, 2015 5:19pm
well a lot of people feel the need to hurt themselves. I hurt myself in the past because i wanted to focus on another pain. Instead of hurting yourself you can try drawing a beautiful picture were you want to hurt yourself.
PondIsle
July 5th, 2015 8:03pm
Perhaps you feel the need to punish yourself for whatever it is that made you angry. I know when I used to self harm it was because I was angry at myself for not being able to "make everything better"...
peachysunny
July 5th, 2015 8:56pm
because you cant express your self properly and dont know how to so you hurt your self insted of expressing anger in a healthy way
Anonymous
July 5th, 2015 8:56pm
It is smart to look for another outlet for your anger. Maybe draw, write, play an instrument, rip up papers, scream into a pillow. There are plenty of anger management tactics and hurting yourself is not productive.
Sokta1299
July 8th, 2015 2:10am
Looking back on it now, I guess I used it as a way to take out my frustration I felt because I always put others so far in front of me. This isn't a bad thing to do though, just the way I dealt with it was wrong. I think I realized this while I was still self-harming, but I kept doing it anyways. Because it becomes an addiction. Just like any other addiction, it can be done mindlessly or to get a monetary sense of peace. But, everything I have said so far, can be drastically different to everyone. But one thing is always true, in the long run, it isn't worth it. For it may be a constant reminder, or trigger to yourself or others. Stay strong.
CosmicStranger
July 8th, 2015 1:40pm
Because when I person is angry there should be something to be done so that the feeling of wrath inside you, doesn't just stay there cause it'll make life so difficult having this burden but with expressing your wrath you can be chill for sometime.. But the search for something to be done is difficult. You tend to find something so you can unleash the hatred and you just somehow think that the simplest answer is yourself also it reminds you about something such as a mistake deserved etc
Ametrine
July 8th, 2015 4:33pm
Some people turn their anger inward instead of outward. This could be the need to punish oneself, find relief from such an intense emotion, express that anger, or many many other things. It is important to find coping skills that work for you when these feelings arise so you can handle them in a way that is not harmful.
ZaydenLana1998
July 8th, 2015 9:04pm
When you're angry, your mind starts to feel the need to hurt something. Since you're the closest option, you feel the need to hurt yourself.