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When I'm angry, why do I always feel the need to hurt myself?

316 Answers
Last Updated: 03/20/2022 at 8:30pm
When I'm angry, why do I always feel the need to hurt myself?
★ This question about Self-Harm was starred by a moderator on 5/12/2016.
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Tracy-Kate Teleke, PsyD, M.A., LMFT

Marriage & Family Therapist

I assist adults and couples in CA experiencing relationship challenges and interpersonal struggles including anxiety, depression, and a myriad of other life challenges.

Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
July 23rd, 2015 1:45am
because the anger will feel as if you need to clutch onto something or hurt something. the first thing you see is what? your skin, your hair, your body.
Thanks4Calling
July 23rd, 2015 9:56am
It is a coping strategy for unhappy, negative feelings or difficult situations. You may feel it is the only thing you can control or you may feel it is self punishment. Like any compulsion it can become a undeserving habit.
MistyForest
July 23rd, 2015 4:21pm
When I'm angry, I tense up to the point where I can't hold it in anymore. I can get violent. But I care for people more than I care for myself. Out of fear of hurting others physically or with my words I feel the need to hurt myself to release the tension. I'm my mind it's me or them. And I could never hurt another person.
Anonymous
July 23rd, 2015 10:23pm
When you're in a high level of distress you don't think clearly our minds try and relive the pain in and unhealthy way
Zasshu
July 24th, 2015 1:52am
Most people think or actually feels slightly better if they inflected pain onto themselves not to extent of losing an organ or so but some shallow cuts, but personally I didn't experience that, I know how they feel though.
NiaS29
July 24th, 2015 1:13pm
When you're angry you can get a slight rush of adrenaline, this makes you want to do the most extreme (possibly) thing you could do in this situation, or you may feel the need to take the emotion out on yourself.
IllumineedyAF
July 24th, 2015 6:58pm
It can vary. One reason is that you're letting out your emotions through pain and another is that you don't feel you deserve no pain. Whatever it may be - there are lots of people, like myself, who can help you. Feel free to talk anyday.
Anonymous
July 25th, 2015 4:57am
Sometimes we feel such intense emotions that it seems the only way to drain the pressure is to harm oneself. Take a deep breath, step back from your emotions, and try to find another way to relieve the strain. Drink some tea, take a nap, have a good cry, call a friend. Give yourself some distance from the emotions until they don't feel so strong, then start to work through them.
StephSnake1582
July 25th, 2015 8:18pm
Because on some level you may blame yourself. And because of that you feel you deserve to he hurt. Or it may be because you can't handle the emotion and that's the only way you know how to cope
HereComesTheSun7
July 26th, 2015 1:02am
- Smash a plastic bottle empty. - Blow up a bag and break it. - Hit a pillow. - Put your favorite music and sing very loud. - Writes what bothers you and destroys the sheet you wrote .
whimsicaldreamer
July 26th, 2015 6:03am
You feel the need to cause harm to yourself because your emotions are overwhelming you. It's a way to control your feelings when you feel out of control although it is an unhealthy way to do so.
sereneTree64
July 26th, 2015 4:52pm
Because, it feels better if you replace the pain inside you with outside feeling , it would make you feel better but it's only temporary it doesn't last
helpinghandsofsos517
July 28th, 2015 4:36am
Possibly because that's the only way you know how to get it out. Perhaps you've bottled many painful things up over the years, or maybe even the past few days, and the only way you know how to cope with said pain is to create more and to take it out on yourself.
SammiClarinetacornBVB
July 29th, 2015 9:09am
Some times we feel the need to find a way to express our feelings and this is how some of us tend to cope with those feelings when no body is listening.
ElvenLight
July 29th, 2015 7:52pm
When you are angry you are feeling immense emotions that you may not know how to deal with properly. Self harm is one way people use to cope with their emotions. It gives them a sense of relief, a decrease in negative emotions, or serves as a punishment. There are much better coping mechanisms to try out though! :)
Anonymous
July 30th, 2015 4:26am
I felt the need to hurt myself when I was hurt because I needed an outlet that I could control. I felt that i had no control except for how I abused myself. But then I got into athletics and that helped me a lot. I eventually was able to quit.
SeekingSafety2711
July 30th, 2015 6:22pm
Sometimes when we are angry we feel out of control. You May feel that a way to gain the control you have lost is to control something and in this case it would be pain. The truth is that being angry does not always mean you are out of control. It means that something has occurred that you may not like and it has upset you. Being angry is a natural emotional response.
afandishun009
July 31st, 2015 10:18am
well people get angry it is in the nature of human being. people do various things to release their stress. And some people want to hurt themselves to vent their anger.
Anonymous
July 31st, 2015 1:49pm
because you feel you need to get your anger out some how and you think that harming your self is the answer but its not
Anonymous
August 1st, 2015 12:30am
Anger is a strong emotion. It makes you feel stressed and upset - maybe even confused. I think that when you're angry, you want to take it out and the only way you feel to do so is to hurt yourself. There are plenty of healthy coping methods, such as reading, writing, painting, exercising, writing down your feelings, and even more.
Anonymous
August 1st, 2015 6:27am
You blame yourself, you need to find a way to take out the pain, people feel mad at themselves once in a while, but cutting yourself is not the answer, you will get even more agitated for harming yourself.
Anonymous
August 1st, 2015 3:45pm
Anger is a kind of emotion which is not like a single stimulus, it drives with it all the more various stimulus, which when reaches the nervous system, It always affects some different parts of the body. So we usually feel to hurt yourself, as its most easily reachable and very favorable.
peachmilk
August 1st, 2015 7:30pm
You blame yourself, and you need a way to release and take out all that anger that is inside your body.
sharp101
August 2nd, 2015 12:41pm
To make yourself feel the pain physically. A way to vent the anger out. There are many other better ways of getting anger out :)
maggicantdraw
August 2nd, 2015 8:58pm
Sometimes I would feel the need to punish myself. I would also sometimes want to release anger and let off steam, as snapping a rubber band can do.
Anonymous
August 2nd, 2015 8:59pm
From my own personal experience, people want to hurt themselves when they're angry because they believe that it will make them feel better.
Anonymous
August 5th, 2015 12:39pm
Obviously people deal with anger in many different ways. Some people might feel the need to hurt themselves as a way of coping with their anger, they may feel frustrated or guilty about the situation and may harm themselves to cope with these feelings.
Anonymous
August 5th, 2015 7:35pm
When you're angry, sometimes the thoughts in your head become too overwhelming and you would do anything to stop them. Slapping your head repeatedly or banging it into walls feels physically good, but exacerbates the problem and usually leads to an intense, emotional breakdown/episode. Maybe you even think you deserve the pain. You probably don't.
FindingAWay5011
August 6th, 2015 3:29am
You feel like it calms you down, that it takes away the anger, but its just hiding from me, making it numb.
EndearingHope
August 6th, 2015 10:39am
Everyone has their own way of coping with their emotions. It sounds like found one way that works for you. You're doing the best you can to survive.