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Why am I harming myself to make myself feel better when it only last a little bit?

13 Answers
Last Updated: 07/09/2018 at 12:57am
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Lindsay Scheinerman, MA, LPC

Licensed Professional Counselor

My work with clients is to help them recognize and build on their strengths to find solutions for the conflicts presented in their lives.

Top Rated Answers
January 19th, 2015 3:06am
Only from personal experience and the individuals I have chatted with, I think it has a lot to do with control. Many people do not feel as though they have control over their lives or at least many aspects of their lives. This can make people feel really lost and confused, or even angry. Sometimes when you feel an overflow of emotion, also something you can't control, harming yourself gives you that control. Instant gratification can be rewarding, but only for a short time; eventually it goes away. This can also turn into longtime problems.
February 15th, 2015 2:05am
I used to harm myself about a year ago. My emotional pain was so great, I couldn't feel any physical pain. Everything was so surreal, I didn't think I was real. I did it to make sure I was still alive. Watching the blood trickle relaxed me. I could've calmed myself without hurting myself. I wish I knew that then.
April 23rd, 2015 12:27pm
For me it was to feel physical pain for a while to stop from feeling heart ache. Although I realized after I promised my best friend that I would stop, that there was no way to stop feeling heart ache. So now, food and sleep and TV are my ways to cope with feeling overpowered
May 24th, 2015 5:04am
I harm myself to make myself feel better despite it only lasting for a few seconds or minutes because sometimes I felt that state of numbness or tranquility was what I needed to get through the day.
May 28th, 2015 10:02pm
Harming yourself gives you a sense of control, you can control the pain you have. And you can control how many cuts, bruises, scars .e.t.c. you have. This is what most people want. Or they want to transfer emotional pain to physical pain so it doesn't hurt so bad.
June 3rd, 2015 9:14am
when we are suffering from pain when became as like mad person.cannot identify what should we do and what shouldn't?i too had experienced some thing like that....i had put my hands in the burning fire just because my mom scold me ..i cannot say anything to her so i burnt my own hand..its easy to say but had to do that we should never lose control on ourself
June 22nd, 2015 2:07am
I like to be in control of the pain I feel. Honestly, it's come to be more of an addiction than want, but I've stayed clean for two months now.
January 12th, 2016 1:54am
You can feel overwhelmed by your emotions, and seek a way out. Crying doesn't always help, so one may seek to find a different way to release emotion in a more substantial fashion. It may also because there is a lack of those willing to speak, or an influx of feelings that render you unable to relay them to others. Either way, it is a moment of ecstasy that allows you freedom from what you are feeling, even if it is only a few moments long.
August 23rd, 2016 6:25am
You're doing it because it takes away from whatever pain you are feeling when you harm yourself or because you feel you deserve to be punished
November 7th, 2016 2:03am
Self harm is a mental idea. It only lasts a little bit but really it can affect you for a very long time.
February 14th, 2017 4:05am
Everyone has their own personal reason/s, but for some, it's the impulse to do something that they can control. Some feel like they deserve it... Some feel very empty, and use it to feel something, or maybe feel real and alive again. Some use it to take out anger or other feelings. For some, it can be a distraction from whatever so chaotic and intense is going on in their life - focusing on the harm to themself can even be calming. Some want physical pain to help mask the emotional pain. Myriad reasons. However, for whatever reason you start, many then become addicted to self harm and feel like they need it to feel better. This is why it can continue even when someone realises its help-you-feel-better properties are only short-term. That is also why it is dangerous and difficult to stop. Many times, it ends worse than one intended it to be upon starting. For instance, starting doing a few shallow cuts every now and then may turn into multiple deeper ones on a regular basis.. An already dangerous habit, combined with its regularity and difficulty in stopping, proves to be a big challenge in mental health.. I wish you the best. Please take care :)
April 30th, 2018 11:54pm
You harm, to stop feeling the pain, anger ect. Correct? Yes it only last a bit, but it helps make everything seem okay for a while. I’m not saying that self harm is good, and you should do it. I’ve been down that road before, I know what it’s like. But one thing you must remember is that light comes at the end of the tunnel. I my not know where you’re at in the tunnel but I do know that it’ll get better. Just hold on, and stay strong you’re ment to be here for the long run.
July 9th, 2018 12:57am
Because at that point you feel you have nothing left. And you think this is the best way to heal from that