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Why can't I convince myself that self harm alternatives may work?

14 Answers
Last Updated: 07/02/2018 at 2:59pm
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Maryna Svitasheva, PhD. RP

Licensed Professional Counselor

Psychotherapy I provide is based on a dialog and your active intention to look for a solution with the therapist's assistance

Top Rated Answers
January 16th, 2015 1:40am
Self harm can be a method of releasing the emotional pain, anger or hurt that you are going through and it is through physical pain that many people are truly able to release this. It is natural to struggle through the fight against it, but even attempting different methods as opposed to harming yourself is a massive step. It is all about finding a method that you believe will work for you, and if you have a strong urge to self harm, remember why it is necessary for you to stop doing this. It will be difficult, but in the end, it is healthier for you to find other coping methods of dealing with this hurt and preventing any physical damage to your body. This website has a guide to coping mechanisms for self harm, read the ones that are specific for you and try each coping mechanism out. You may find that only one works for you, or that doing multiple different things are better for coping. Top of the website, 'self-help guides' and in the drop box is one about self harm. Take some time to read this guide through and try to work of different coping mechanisms as opposed to self harming, until you find one which helps you more.
January 1st, 2018 1:33am
A reason why you can’t convince yourself that these alternatives may work may be because you don’t want to stop. You don’t want them to work because part of you wants to keep harming yourself. Self harm is a habit, so you convince yourself that they won’t work, giving yourself a reason to self harm.
March 12th, 2015 12:22pm
To works, alternatives needs a real effort from you. It would be great if just by taking a shower or write a diary you would instantly be fred from your self harm urges but it doesn't work that way. you need to want it and sometimes you need to compel yourself to choose an alternative. It' one of the toughest things in the world to refuse to allow yourself an addictive behavior (would it be drugs, self harm, sex or whatever else) but it gets easier. You have to open the door and go out for a walk, call a friend, take a bath, even if it's the last thing you want to do, I know it's though but it's for the better I promise.
May 15th, 2015 3:44pm
Harming yourself is not the answer, you are just finding some release. Its best if you won't harm yourself because in some time from now you'll ask yourself. "Why'd did I do that?"
September 1st, 2015 7:24pm
Starting is always easier than stopping. but something that is important to remember that you are trying. an sometimes relapses happen but that's just proof that you was trying. we focus on the one day of self-harm instead it's best to focus on how many you haven't. I cut 5 times this month seems wording it as failure but when you think oh I was clean 25 it's shows the improvement. even if it's just one day it's one day closer to recovery.
September 7th, 2015 7:41am
mostly because we pick the easy ways which tend to be more harmfully and are a temporary solution to a long term problem
September 7th, 2015 10:05pm
Sometimes it is hard to accept that alternatives are better because self harm works its way into your brain and tells you that it is the only thing that will work the best. Self harm is a proven addiction that releases endorphin's. You need to keep trying the alternatives to prove that there are better coping mechanisms. Running for example also releases endorphin's, so it would make a really good alternative.
November 16th, 2015 9:22am
Maybe you think the only way out is self harm. but, if you could think that there are other methods to cope with those urges, and that those coping methods can help you, then perhaps they could start helping
November 24th, 2015 8:08pm
no for me it helps but answering at this question is that people think every self harmer is crazy so that from childhood cutting is not the choise !
May 16th, 2016 11:50pm
Because you only want to self harm. You don't want to stop, which is a bad thing and you don't want it to take over do you?
June 7th, 2016 7:41am
Self-harm is a very quick and strong activity that we've used for quite a while most likely to cope. It has perhaps become more of an addiction than a coping skill any longer. Maybe we don't want to give it up yet, because it feels secure as an outlet, plus there are chemicals that are released in our brain that make it hard to stop. My questions would be: Are you afraid to stop or that you can't stop even with the alternatives? What motivation do you have to stop? Do you think they won't work so why try? Do you have a fear of what if you fail at using them? So many questions that might impact why we can't convince ourselves to stop self harm and use alternative coping skills. Plus, anyone who has quit and used alternatives knows, they don't feel like the same as self-harm. So the need and urges to stop are still in our minds. It's like losing good friend to give up self harm. So maybe even grief is getting in the way.
September 12th, 2016 8:03pm
Because you are most likely depressed therefore you may be looking at life quite negatively so you might not think anything other than self harm will work
February 14th, 2017 6:06pm
Are you a long-term user of self-harm? If that's the case, there's a good chance that on some level you've associated it with comfort. And change can be scary; I like to say that misery has it's comforts in that we know what will happen. If you aren't used to the alternative techniques, it might take a while to get used to, but I believe you can do it!
July 2nd, 2018 2:59pm
When you're using or considering using self-harm as a coping skill, your mind convinces itself that it will help and make things better; so in return, it does not seem as if any self-harm alternative will be helpful.