Why can't I stop punishing myself for making mistakes?

11 Answers
Last Updated: 08/22/2017 at 8:33pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Cassandra Coleman-Heppler, LCSW, LICSW

Clinical Social Work/Therapist

I believe that problems are separate from the person having them and that our own stories and how we look at our own stories directly influences how we perceive those problems

Top Rated Answers
SettledBreathing
August 11th, 2015 5:22am
Guilt. It always comes back to guilt. Try to get perspective on your mistakes, how small they are compared, in turn, to you, your life, the world. It's important to avoid dragging that guilt around so that you don't feel that urge. A way to do that is to forgive yourself, truly and sincerely. Take some time off to relax and think about forgiving yourself. Best wishes :)
MidnightFalls
January 24th, 2015 9:16pm
Making mistakes makes us who we are, humans. And it's normal to punish yourself for those mistakes, some people punish themselves by cutting others by looking in the mirror and calling themselves stupid. But all-in-all, it's normal to make mistakes, and as humans we make even more mistakes by punishing ourselves for them. Stay strong.
Chris91
November 17th, 2015 6:30pm
Making mistakes is something that is part of the nature of being human. On the other hand, we as individuals tend to be perfectionists. Unfortunatelly, being a human means that we are far away from perfection. Which is entirely okay, as mistakes and making them is what makes us beautiful. But sometimes, there is a misbalance in the mistakes we make and the way we are punished for them, mostly by ourselves. The need to punish ourselves succeeds the mistake itself. Long story short, no mistake done by yourself is worth to punish yourself for eternity.
Anonymous
April 29th, 2015 3:04am
The most common thought is that you deserve what you've been through but I'm here to tell you that you don't. If you've made a mistake in your past it's best to try and let it go. Realize that your mistakes are not you. You're only human and everyone makes mistakes.
lizzle
November 30th, 2015 4:38am
Maybe you are self critical and feel like you want to become alot better, everyone in life fails , and the greatest teachers will tell you, in order to find success you first need to fail. Failure should be learnt as lessons and not to discourage you from pursuing whatever it is that you are trying to triumph.
Iam80Here
May 31st, 2016 7:07am
It's because you can't let go of who you think you are. Once you accept yourself fully, and realize that you can never be somebody else, you can stop. You can stop doing anything that feels violent, ruthless, unnecessary and unworthy. Start loving yourself.
Anonymous
June 1st, 2015 11:19pm
Most have trouble accepting themselves for who they are- flaws included. People hold themselves to unrealistically high standards, and feel horrible when they don't meet them.
Anonymous
November 10th, 2015 2:11pm
You blame yourself but its not your fault, you just have to see things in another perspective .
juliannam
May 10th, 2016 7:45pm
its all in your mind. you think things are worse then they actually are. most people will forget about your mistakes because they care too much about them. do not dwell on the past. you can not change the past. the future will always be better.
Anonymous
July 11th, 2016 7:56pm
Because your problem lies deep in your roots. You think you are orthless, unless you do something to prove that wrong. When you fail doing that thing, you punish yourself to avoid failiure. Because failiure means worthlessness
Anonymous
August 22nd, 2017 8:33pm
Perhaps you have very high standards. Instead of punishing yourself for failure, try rewarding yourself for success; it should be a more working system.