Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav

Why can't I stop self-harming?

48 Answers
Last Updated: 04/27/2021 at 2:06pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Jennifer Geib, LCSWR

Clinical Social Work/Therapist

1:1 chats (up to 5 days/week). - My therapy is non-judgmental and focuses on emotions and motivation to accomplish your goals or overcome your struggles.

Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
February 11th, 2016 7:23pm
because you feel like you deserve the pain because you hate yourself. I have been there and I still self harm because I think I deserve it but we don't. We just are trying to find a way to take away the pain that's killing us on the inside out
Gracey
November 8th, 2014 11:24pm
Self- harming is a coping mechanism that can be very addictive. It is addictive because of the sense of relief it brings. Stopping something that is addictive is often very difficult especially as it can feel like there is no other way of letting out all the emotions that are inside.
Pandette
October 27th, 2014 2:42am
Why do you think you can't stop self-harming? I think everyone has their own reasons as to why they do it. For example, I continuously self-harmed because I didn't want to have to deal with the emotional pain, so I stuck with the physical pain instead. I would like to add in that I did stop though and you can too.
SaraC13
October 31st, 2014 1:51pm
Self harming can become very addicting and is a very impulsive act. It is also typical for self harmers to go a month without harming but relapse. Just know it's 'normal' in a self harm sense.
pelizzijojo13
January 13th, 2016 11:13pm
You must let go of this habit. First and foremost, learn to believe that before commiting to the sacrifice and learn to believe you can get past self harming. It is possible and it has been done. I know the urge may feel unmanageable, but all it is is an urge. It does not define who you are and you don't have to entertain your desire to self harm. When you feel the need to, immediately bring out your own mind discipline and tell yourself that doing so will only hurt you. It may give you temporary relief, but truth be told, all it does is hurt you. You are harming an extraordinary being. Even if you don't see it, there's a good chance other people do. Don't let the struggle you are dealing with cloud your perception. Strive for other healthy ways to cope. I advise you to get a journal where you can record all your thoughts and feelings in. A journal will enable you to depart with any grief as well as distract yourself from your longing to self harm. The more you fight the desire, the more of a chance you'll grow out of it. Remember - YOU are the only one in control of the decisions you make. Not the urge.
ComeToKelly
September 27th, 2014 8:37pm
You cant stop self harming because you feel its the only thing that will take away the pain, its not
Anonymous
November 17th, 2014 7:29pm
People cant stop self harming as it is like a drug, it provides a escape makes you feel better, however somehow we forget that its bad and keep repeating ourselves if we don't get support we will eventually suffer and hurt our bodies
happyblueberries
January 21st, 2016 5:32pm
Self-harming is a way for you to let out any pent up emotions. Sometimes it feels like it's the only comfort you have, when in reality that's not the case at all. The best way to stop self-harming is for you to find some distractions, keep anything you might use to harm yourself away, an try your best not to be alone.
optimisticHeart11
November 3rd, 2014 5:56am
Many people don't recognize that self-harm is actually an addiction. Once you start to harm and the chemicals in your brain associate the pain, relief, etc. with feeling better, then it can be extremely hard to stop without help.
elliejade
February 10th, 2016 7:49pm
Self harming is addictive because it releases endorphin's which make you feel relaxed. There are plenty of methods to stop self harm, such as the rubber band. You put a rubber band on your wrist and when ever you feel the need to self harm you snap the rubber band on your wrist. This is self harm but it doesn't inflict bad wounds, therefore it's a healthy option. You have also got the butterfly project. This is where you draw a butterfly on your wrist or wherever you cut and if you cut/burn it kills the butterfly. If you self harm in a few places, draw them there as well. Name the butterfly after someone who means a lot to you, say your mom, dad, best friend etc. Therefore when you self harm you'll be killing that family member/friend. Last one I know is where you draw lines on your body. Like the butterfly project, it involves drawing on your body. When you need to self harm you draw a line or more on your body, or a burn looking injury, or bruise. Now the bad side to this is that it doesn't give you any pain or doesn't make you resist it, so it is a harder option.
EllaLoves
February 10th, 2016 6:38am
it is hard to stop something that is both addictive and a coping mechanism, but you have to remember it is dangerous and unhealthy.
DevonT
February 7th, 2016 1:42pm
Self harm can be addicting. I don't mean you'll go through withdrawals when you stop, because that would be ridiculous. However, your brain does enjoy the rush of endorphins it gets every time you harm yourself, and this is the reason you keep coming back to self-harm, even if you tell yourself it's stupid and you'll never do it again.
Mado
September 18th, 2014 8:09pm
Because you think that physical pain is better than emotional pain .u should take out your anger or sadness in a healthy way for example hold a cube of ice and keep squeezing it in ur hand it will eventually make u stop cutting and using this method
HazeHaze2
January 17th, 2016 11:57pm
Self harm is a very addictive and also dangerous thing to do. Some people with an addictive personality also may have trouble whilst trying to break the habit.
Livvehh753
November 18th, 2014 7:19pm
You probably cant stop self harming because self harm has become a coping strategy and therefore gives you "good" feelings. Try to find ways to cope with other methods like drawing, writing or exercise.
missjess
January 13th, 2016 11:43pm
There are many reasons why we self-harm. Sometimes it is a cry for help. Sometimes it is a diversion so that we don't have to feel another form of pain. Sometimes we truly loathe ourselves that much to want to inflict pain. Whatever the reason, it is a ritual that you can stop. You need to find the underlying reasons why you feel propelled to self-harm. Only then can you begin the process of forgiving yourself and healing.
Rikke
October 28th, 2014 1:38pm
Self-harming is a serious addiction. It can temporarely make you feel better, which makes it tempting to continue the habit. It is, however, not a solution to the problem, and it is important to seek help if you are caught in the habit.
Anonymous
December 21st, 2015 1:04pm
Maybe you are having lack of attention, so it is your call to others. You should try to express yourself with writing or art or just talk honestly with other people who should care about you more :)
Anonymous
November 4th, 2014 12:23am
You can always stop-- you are in control of your own actions. The real question to ask is "why are you doing this in the first place?" Self-harm is a serious issue and one that can escalate and become dangerous quickly. Tell a friend, tell a professional. Seek help. There are people out there who want to listen and be there for you.
Anonymous
January 18th, 2016 5:31am
Because we believe we can distract ourselves with pain so all it takes is one cut.
Anonymous
January 21st, 2016 11:46pm
After a while, self-harm becomes an addiction. When you reach this point, it's hard to stop and it constantly worries you.
ThePoet
November 20th, 2014 11:27am
Depends on your reason for self-harm. If you do it for attention (not saying you do. Just a scenario), then you must be getting some attention for it and desire more. Something in your brain is saying it is positive to do this.
peaceful1Umar
August 3rd, 2020 1:19am
This is a very good question. The answer is complex and simple at the same time. The simple answer is it becomes an addiction. Your body releases dopamine and other happy chemicals which is why after self harming you’ll have a short time where you are feeling better. This moment of feeling better fuels the addiction even more. If it is your resort to self harm every time in distress your brain can adapt and get “used” to this form of release. However, it is not impossible to stop. There are a lot of resources online on ways you can stop self harming. Hope I helped
Anonymous
November 8th, 2014 3:49pm
Because it's addictive. When you start, it's really difficult to stop, you'll feel happy only when you cut or have fresh cuts,
TheSupport
January 27th, 2016 7:55pm
Self-harming becomes a habit normally after doing it long-term. I suggest some therapy and doctor visits if you cannot stop it.
Anonymous
November 10th, 2014 12:16pm
I couldn't either. Maybe because it takes away the pain. Maybe because you feel better when you do it.. But you feel so much better when you can stop. You feel proud, than you'll really feel better. Try the butterfly project, it would really help.
Anonymous
January 22nd, 2016 12:25am
You can't stop self-harming because you have become addicted to it. If you are struggling with self-harm, you should seek professional help such as a counselor and they will provide steps that will help you with your recovery.
Chiara900
November 13th, 2014 8:53pm
There is always a reason why you self-harm - to cope with stress, anger or disappointment maybe, or, because you don't know how to express your emotions properly. Furthermore, once you start, self-harm can be very addicting, probably because the body releases dopamine, a hormone, to "cover up" the pain. To be able to stop self-harming you need to find alternatives to it, other ways to deal with the reason why you started in the first place. Maybe it helps to talk to a friend, to go see a therapist, to watch a funny movie to distract yourself, to hurt yourself with rubber bands instead or last but not least, to talk to somebody here on 7Cups
softwaves19
November 14th, 2014 2:17am
self harming releases the hormone endorphins into your body Endorphins trigger a positive feeling in the body, similar to that of morphine. this is why cutting is so addictive.
Anonymous
January 16th, 2016 3:52am
Some people they feel like self harming is the only way to cope with what is going on with life , they feel like all those negative emotions they keep bottled up are released and they feel happy . They just need to learn ways to cope other than self harming