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Why do I let self-harm control my life?

16 Answers
Last Updated: 03/14/2017 at 6:44am
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Tracy-Kate Teleke, M.A., LMFT

Marriage & Family Therapist

I assist adults and couples in CA experiencing relationship challenges and interpersonal struggles including anxiety, depression, and a myriad of other life challenges.

Top Rated Answers
February 17th, 2015 1:42pm
You do not let it, it just happens. It may be because you're experiencing a lot of stress in your life a the moment, which makes you go to self harm to cope.
March 27th, 2015 11:43am
Self harm is an addiction and a habit. Compare it to being an alcoholic. They need to drink to release tension, pain, to hide, whatever the reason. Eventually, their body demands it to "help". Same principle applies to self harm. When you cut, burn or hurt yourself some other way, endorphins are released into your blood to stop the pain and make you feel better. It's addictive. Some people might choose to cut, with no attempt to fight the urges. I'm not a professional, but I would say it's the same reason. It "helps" in some way. My advice to you would be to talk to somebody, and perhaps consider some counselling to help you overcome this.
April 16th, 2015 5:16pm
Because it's the only way you cope with life, the only thing that you think understands you and takes the pain away. Or it may be because you prefer it. You may not think that, but you really do, you like the relief it gives and when somebody suggests getting a hobby, and you've tried that desperately but it never works. It's just not as good as cutting. And that's why it's hard to stop. It's an addiction.
June 6th, 2015 2:55pm
I don't know. why did you? well, self-harming lets your neural system to produce endorphin and adrenaline, that literally makes you feel calm. or maybe the pain. It's just different for everyone, depends on a lot of things
June 22nd, 2015 11:57am
self-harm won't benefit us in any way , the mistakes , the losing of persons who we love , or losing a big chance , won't back by self harm ..
August 25th, 2015 2:27pm
Self-harm can become addictive and as it comes an addiction it comes harder and harder to quit. So it may seems that it controls your life because you can't stop and it has an impact in many parts of you life but as any addiction you can overcome it.
September 15th, 2015 3:31am
It's an addiction, just like drugs or alcohol. Few people know and understand that. I would recommend speaking to a professional about this extremely serious matter.
October 27th, 2015 10:42pm
Because you become so addicted to it, it becomes a daily routine. And therefore you let it control you because there is no other option you want to find.
November 2nd, 2015 11:14am
Because we're scared of change as well as the way people view us. We let it control us because we need a relief from the emotions inside us, so that they don't control us.
November 3rd, 2015 2:16am
Self-harm is a form of control. We all want to feel things- and when you are coping with depression or anxiety it feels like you can't feel anything. Self-harm provides a new sensation other that the numb feeling of day to day life. I can tell you that self harming is just a vicious cycle- don't deprive yourself of the wonders of this world by limiting yourself to things that bring you pain. There is more to life than pain!
November 16th, 2015 10:35am
Sometimes we do not have all the answers as to why we do the things we do, but finding professional help can help to resolve these issues, and find out answers.
January 25th, 2016 6:33am
Self harm is an addictive behavior. It takes control at one point, unless you stop it in time, which doesn't happen to about anyone. It is very hard to stop, and the more you self harm, the more it takes control.
June 6th, 2016 3:29pm
Because you don't feel like you have control in your life. You want the pain to end, and self harming feels like a way out.
July 12th, 2016 2:53pm
'cause you think that self-harming is controlling your life when is not. You're thinking this but you can stop doing it when you want.
July 18th, 2016 2:41pm
You don't let self harm control your life, self harm in itself is an addiction, an obsession that you're unable to control. You can try to limit yourself by keeping yourself around people, talking your feelings out and finding better coping mechanisms to help but its a process that takes time.
March 14th, 2017 6:44am
There are plenty of reasons to explain this. It may be a pain release that works better than dealing with emotional pain. It may just be a coping mechanism developed over time that seems effective, but in reality causes harm. It just depends on the situation and the person. I know for me it was a pain release that seemed to temporarily take away the emotional pain. But then I had regrets and felt like I was a disappointment.