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Why do people try to blame you for what you're feeling when it is just your method of coping?

14 Answers
Last Updated: 04/16/2018 at 1:25pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United Kingdom
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Temi Coker, MSC, MA, Dip.Cons

Licensed Professional Counselor

With over ten years experience, I offer a safe and confidential environment  for you to collect your thoughts, worries & life problems with no judgement or assumptions.    

Top Rated Answers
February 6th, 2015 9:38pm
People will often deal with overwhelming situations and especially those outside their control in a number of ways. Blame can be a way of trying to win back control, it can also be a way of avoiding responsibility, very very few people live in total isolation so blaming someone for their feelings is a way of avoiding their role in the wider picture and the fact they may have had SOME role in the way you currently feel. They may also not fully understand, prehaps because they cannot relate on any level and it may also depend a little on your culture but sometimes we blame people for what we regard as having an element of shame - for example in the environment I grew up in 'feelings' and expressing them was seen as weak and this is why blame can be a way of preventing anyone from showing perceived weakness and impacting on the way a family/ group of friends is seen by outsiders.
April 9th, 2015 5:10am
I like to think its because they are not used to something that is strange and unusual to them. I couldnt blame anyone.
May 11th, 2015 8:01pm
We all have our own way of coping with things. Getting others to acknowledge and accept it is half the battle. The other half is overcoming your problem.
June 1st, 2015 11:20pm
Those people function differently, they don't exactly understand your methods. When you're trying to help yourself, they see it as you trying to hurt them.
August 30th, 2015 6:05am
people blame you for how your feeling because they don't understand how what your going through or how much pain your really in.
November 27th, 2015 1:46am
because they dont understand you. and sometimes they are right but no one knows for sure why. to me its all about if you think it is true or not
December 28th, 2015 12:06am
because they don't know you. they don get you. only you know exactly how your thinking and don't let them say different
March 29th, 2016 6:55am
Some people are extremely judgmental and like to jump to conclusions, even when they don't know the full extent and circumstances of the situation. Humans like simplicity, and so they think that people can 'just get over it', when it's really much more complicated than that. As long as the coping method is healthy and not harming the person or anyone else, then that person should just be allowing to feel what they are feeling and cope in whatever way feels natural to them.
April 5th, 2016 5:25pm
Because those people may not understand and they can't feel what you do. They won't be you. Try to make them understand that.
April 6th, 2016 3:16pm
Because most people don't understand what we are going through they think we are happy and all when we pretend to be happy and fake a smile all the time :) but I'm here if anyone wants to talk? :)
August 29th, 2016 10:13am
Most people do not understand different coping methods and generally rather judge than try to hear you out it's a common occurrence that's why many don't feel comfortable coming out and talking about what helps them and often don't seek help its sad that society can't understand
April 11th, 2017 12:34am
We all cope differently, what works for some doesn't work for others. I think that's why sometimes people get confused when you deal with things in a way they are not used to. It's important to try to understand each other, instead of just jumping to conclusions and getting frustrated when people don't deal with things the way we would.
November 13th, 2017 8:37am
It can be difficult for them to empathize even though they may do it out of good intention. Therefore, they can sometimes try to impose their feelings about certain situations.
April 16th, 2018 1:25pm
People who don't have a mental illness blame that person for what they are feeling because they just don't understand what you are going through. People can be ignorant sometimes. They won't always understand you.