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Why does my girlfriend cut herself?

301 Answers
Last Updated: 10/09/2019 at 2:27am
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Zeina Ghoul, LLPC

Pre-Licensed Professional

I help guide clients to create positive change in a non-judgmental and supportive atmosphere.

Top Rated Answers
raynashine
July 28th, 2016 3:46pm
Some people use self harm as a distraction coping method. The pain actually releases hormones that make you feel better temporarily. Others may use it as a way to punish themselves when they are angry or upset with themselves.
Anonymous
July 30th, 2016 11:16am
This has various reasons, but it is the best to stick to her and do everything to get some help. You and especially she isnt alone in this situation,
Anonymous
August 3rd, 2016 1:36am
I don't know exactly why, as i'm not her, but cutters tend to soak up the emotions of others, and project onto themselves.
bubblyunicorn
August 3rd, 2016 7:03am
this is self harming behaviour.. she might be suicidal..depressed or in need of immediate help..please inform some adult of the action and have her seek professional help..if in immediate danger plese call 911 or its alternative for best help possible.
carefreeTime62
August 3rd, 2016 10:56pm
She may feel unhappy with herself and you probably wonder why even tho you are there for her she still does is it.. But just be there for her and support her through this tuff time and always remind her that you love her
pixiebarker
August 5th, 2016 8:04pm
because she thinks death is the answer to her problems in her life and cutting will make people pay attention to her
Anonymous
August 10th, 2016 9:37am
Hello maybe you should talk to her and ask her if she has any problems because cutting is usually as a means of self escape if I have the right tern or word
PinkButterfly30
August 10th, 2016 12:53pm
She is most likely going through something and feels the need to harm her self to get rid of the pain, but it makes it worse,.
SilentSerenityy
August 11th, 2016 5:02pm
Your girlfriend is self harming and the list of causes for self harming is a long one, so only she can tell you what caused or causes her to self harm. It is likely something she's embarrassed about and probably isn't too happy that you know, unless she told you herself. If she told you herself, that's a big thing for her to do and should be respected. We have a self harm guide here that may be helpful to both of you or you can look online about self harm and how to support someone who does it. Remain open minded, non judgemental and supportive and you can't go too far wrong.
AboveAndBelow
August 13th, 2016 9:38pm
People cut themselves for may different reasons, some of the most common being: to feel relief, to punish themselves because they think they've done things or think they deserve it and to feel alive and not numb. A god option would be to try and talk to her about it and understand he own reason/s
Grangs
August 14th, 2016 4:17am
It is not about you, or me, or anyone. It is about how she feels. If she is in distress that is what she does, the best you can do is get her help and minimalism the triggering things.
piercetheaiden
August 14th, 2016 11:24am
There might be several reasons. Stress, depression, sadness, anxiety, etc. Either way show love for her and make sure she's getting help.
Anonymous
August 20th, 2016 7:10pm
Cutting is addictive because it releases chemicals in the brain when someone cuts. Its like getting drunk and waking up with a hangover. You do it and you feel better at the moment but to feel like that again you would need to cut again.
Anonymous
August 21st, 2016 11:02am
She might be stressed because of something or she might have done something she regrets and is punishing herself.
PandaIsHere08
August 22nd, 2016 9:10pm
People go through many hard times in their life. Your girlfriend is probably going through her own hard times. It's hard seeing the one you love hurt themselves. But try your best to support her and recommend her to see a counsellor. While you are at it, you should also see a counsellor too. You both need to take care of yourselves for you are both important and loved!
VeeStarr
August 24th, 2016 2:58am
There are many reasons why someone may cut themselves. - A feeling of needing control. -Wanting to feel alive. -They may feel numb. -It may be their way of getting relief. There are many reasons. Cutting can become an addiction. Sometimes you may not want to do it, but it has now become a habit. Sometimes you may feel like it's the only thing that is keep you alive. Sometimes we may never know why someone is cutting themselves, until they are ready to open up. Until we assertively and compassionately approach them.
Sacrifice
August 25th, 2016 4:39am
Self-harm comes from a variety of reasons, but it all will stem from the feeling of either sadness, emptiness, or another negative feeling. If your partner cuts and you are close to this partner, I would suggest talking to her and trying to comfort her as much as possible. Let her open up to you, but don't pressure her. Ask her if it would feel better that you two talked about it or if a therapist might help and calm her down if she thinks this is a scary idea. If she has formed a habit out of this you shouldn't stop her immediately as it might cause worse withdrawals just like when you conpletely stop a hobby or smoking. Slowly reduce it for her and make sure she doesn't do anything too serious. If you need to call a suicide hotline and think it is more serious please go ahead and call one. Here is a number 116 123. Make sure to take care of her and as long as she doesn't do anything too bad you guys will make it through together.
Anonymous
August 25th, 2016 5:20am
oh, love its probably depression. try talking to her about it and just be there for her to help her through this. shes going through an awful time right now and she needs help to get through it.
Anonymous
August 25th, 2016 12:23pm
Your girlfriend may have another problem in her life that is causing her to relieve her stress and anxiety by putting it out on herself.
Christiinee
August 26th, 2016 5:55pm
Self harm is a common issue. Your girlfriend is probably deprsssed thats why she cuts herself. You should try talking to her and finding out what's wrong
shonali22
August 27th, 2016 6:39am
there can be many reasons behind it . i think you should ask her how her days are going. may be she is going through a bad phase
heavenlyJewel47
August 27th, 2016 10:12am
Maybe she has issues that no one understands. Sometimes in a relationship one partner may not tell the other what exactly is going on because she may feel embarrassed or ashamed, Try to sit her down and talking to her and be comforting and talk bout solutions and how you both as a couple can solve the problem.
specialUnicorns39
August 27th, 2016 6:02pm
it is done by whom who wants to get more support love and affection from other side. love her more whenever she is stressed
bokchoi
September 3rd, 2016 12:40pm
She's probably going through some emotional turmoil. the reasons vary for each person. The easiest way to find out would be to ask her. If you decide to do that, make sure you don't sound accusing or she might deny it.
LightCrest
September 3rd, 2016 9:31pm
She may have experienced difficult situations and I suggest you should be there to comfort her. Get in the right timing to ask her and be there for her.
Strangestmeteorshowers
September 4th, 2016 2:05am
Perhaps she feels numb and decides that she'd rather feel pain than nothing at all. Stick with her.
Anonymous
September 4th, 2016 6:13pm
A person can cut themselves as a way to deal with intense emotions. Sometimes the physical pain resulting from cutting can provide a relief from the emotional pain they are feeling.
SurvivingPheonix
September 4th, 2016 9:29pm
Because her mind is tricking her into believing that this is the only way for her to step out of her skin and be someone else entirely. Or, it's a way to cover the emotional pain with a physical one. In either cases, you need to be there for her. Listen to her, be the support she needs.
SympatheticPrune2001
September 7th, 2016 6:14pm
She might be stressed about something, or she might feel she did something wrong and this is her way of punishing herself.
Jesse1285
September 8th, 2016 5:07am
Cutting and self harm can have many root causes. It is impossible for someone who is not your girlfriend to give you a definitive answer. In your case, talking to her calmly and without judgement may allow her to open up to you and give you a clear answer. Be prepared to help her deal with it and do not minimize her concerns.