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Why does my girlfriend cut herself?

301 Answers
Last Updated: 10/09/2019 at 2:27am
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Zeina Ghoul, LLPC

Pre-Licensed Professional

I help guide clients to create positive change in a non-judgmental and supportive atmosphere.

Top Rated Answers
December 30th, 2017 2:33pm
She may be trying to make her internal pain visible. Mental illness is a very hard pain to manage and when we can see the pain it makes it more real for us.
January 6th, 2018 10:21pm
Sometimes people self-harm to get a release from mental pain. Since I don't know your situation I cannot say what makes her harm herself because there could be many reasons
January 10th, 2018 11:01am
She may feel numb or confused of what she's feeling and by cutting herself she can focus on that pain or that she thinks that physical pain is better than emotinal pain
January 13th, 2018 7:15am
That question has a lot of answers. Consider asking her why she does that. Maybe then, you will get a clear understanding.
January 13th, 2018 10:48am
Maybe because she is going through something really rough.Please try to take her to a psychologist or a psychiatrist.Try to give her all the love and care that she needs.Take care of yourself and your girlfriend.Hope she feels well really soon.
January 14th, 2018 8:19am
There are many different reasons why someone would hurt themselves. These reasons are very individual and need to be figured out by someone professional as it can quickly become like an addiction and very harmful. It could be a cry for attention or just a physical vent to release pressure. There are many tips on how to resist the urge to do self harm, like meditation or behavioural therapy but in these cases it will always be the best to nudge her to seek professional help.
January 17th, 2018 5:09pm
The reason as to why your girlfriend cuts herself could stem from many different things that either have happened in the past, things that are happening now..or even things that could potentially happen in the future. One thing I can say for definite is that she is not cutting to try and hurt your feelings or your relationship with her at all. Although it may appear as though she is doing it as a result of something that may have been done or said within your relationship, that is often not the case. Is she aware that you know she cuts? If so, maybe ask her as to how it helps her, as opposed to why she does it. This may be an easier way of discovering why she does it. If she does not know you know of it, then perhaps just try to talk to her about things going on in her life to see if you could help limit the negative factors in her life, as these may play a part in her cutting.
January 25th, 2018 2:04am
There can be many reasons why. A lot of the time people use it as a coping method to deal with stress in life or if they are depressed. Again many reasons and explanations. But sometimes there isn't
February 1st, 2018 4:54pm
There isn't really one reason in particular as to why someone would cut them self. Some do it to stop some emotional pain/trauma. Others do it to let out stress. I hope this helps!
February 3rd, 2018 6:05am
When someone cuts themselves they are dealing with some emotional pain and try to find some relief, or maybe they want to physically feel the pain.
February 3rd, 2018 11:46am
The reason why people cut themselves are very varied. But mostly I think it is because we can't express feelings or can't feel anything.
February 7th, 2018 10:45am
Sometimes, people do these things to make them feel something. But, cutting themselves isn't the right way. You could confront her about it and tell her you're there for her through this and you will help her get help, if she wants it. There's no accurate reason for people cutting themselves, sometimes it's because of their traumatic past, sometimes it's because they feel so numb that they want to feel something. It's different on every person.
February 7th, 2018 8:19pm
There are many reasons people self-harm. It can be a way to cope with strong emotions like being overwhelmed. It can be a way to feel real instead of numb. It can be a way to punish yourself or to feel pain. It's different for everybody. Have you tried talking to her about it?
February 16th, 2018 3:33pm
she may be struggling to express herself,or is thinking that what she is feeling is wrong. I would attempt to give her the space in order to properly express herself.
February 20th, 2018 10:50pm
There could be a number of reasons, but it might be because she feels alone, scared or unloved. Maybe you should talk to her about it and figure out her reason. Everyone is different.
February 23rd, 2018 8:22am
I think it is important to understand that most people do not cut cut in any relation to those that love and support her. There are a variety of reasons why people do the things they do and it is important to have a talk with her but only when she feels ready.
February 24th, 2018 5:15am
You should really talk to her to see whats on her mind and see if she's doing okay or if she needs any sort of help from you!
March 1st, 2018 3:03pm
There a are many reasons people do this, maybe she thinks something is her fault or maybe she hurts on the inside. All you can do is be there for her.
March 4th, 2018 11:50pm
People cut or self-harm for many different reasons. Your girlfriend may be feeling low, unworthy or hopeless, any range of emotions that lead her to self harm. People often turn to self harm as it turns internal pain into a physical thing, they may believe they deserve to hurt themselves and/or if they feel numb, they may self harm as a way of forcing themselves to feel a strong sensation in that very moment. It is important to have an honest discussion with your girlfriend, to let her know that you are there to support her and that you won’t judge her for her self harm. Try gently asking her questions about her emotions and thoughts about her self harm if she is ready to discuss this with you. But most importantly show her you care and are willing to listen whenever she needs it.
March 9th, 2018 6:01am
I’ve cut myself before. When I did it, it was because I had so many thoughts in my head. I needed to concentrate on something. Or it was because I wanted to control the pain I was feeling. So I would recommend asking her what’s wrong and try to empathize with her.
March 25th, 2018 8:57am
She is probably going through some tough times and feel as though that cutting herself is the only way to let the stress out, or it takes away the pain.
March 28th, 2018 9:26pm
Because she is experiencing emotional pain that is difficult to put into words. The emotional pain is so strong that she finds it easier to deal with physical pain.
April 4th, 2018 8:34pm
for a lot of reasons, you can ask her she might tell you, its always good to talk and ask questions. she could be sad or not happy about somthing
April 4th, 2018 10:17pm
Your girlfriend could be searching for some form of 'release' from the problems chaining her down .
April 5th, 2018 6:40pm
People cut themselves for all types of reasons. No two cases are the same. If you really want to know, I recommend asking her yourself.
April 7th, 2018 5:56am
There are a lot of different reasons. Honestly, you need to ask her. If she doesn't know, tell her to sit and think about it, because it's important that she figures that shit out. Now honestly, cutting is something I've done. But it's kind of fucked up, I'll tell you why - it alters your afibrilation. That means your heart stutters. It's the worst kind of thing to do to your body. But that's only when you cut deep. NEVER cut deep. It's too hard to take it back and makes for a lot of sadness. I mean, never EVER kill yourself, but never cut. It's also a great way to get infections. Even if the cutting doesn't get you, the risk of septicemia is huge, and that can kill on its own. Your girlfriend might cut because of depression. She might hate her family, she might hate her body, she might hate life in general. I think she needs to center herself a little and thing about how big life is. It's pretty awesome, when you think of all the places you can go. Remind her of that.
April 13th, 2018 1:48am
It could be for a number of reasons, but most of the time it’s not for attention. Most people don’t realize that or understand it, they just see what the person who’s self harming wants them to see. And it could be anything, but they don’t want to result in self harming. They want to get better, and for most they don’t know how. They want to stop feeling the pain so they turn to stuff like that.
April 21st, 2018 3:08am
If you are finding it difficult to wrap your mind around this type of behavior, or why anyone would intentionally hurt themselves, you are not alone. Nor is she, in finding that those behaviors seem helpful to her in some way. the exact reasons that people engage in this type of behavior are many and varied, but talking to your girlfriend might help you to understand the situation from her point of view.
April 26th, 2018 7:06am
This is a serious matter, it would be better to stay with your partner and ask her why she’s doing this to herself. It’s better to communicate with your girlfriend in order to stop her from cutting herself.
May 2nd, 2018 6:15am
There may be a lot of different reasons as to why a person self-harms, but it is never because they are seeking attention. A lot of the time they are seeking control over something in their lives or maybe even seeking some sort of relief from what they're going through or what they've been through. When people self-harm, their brains release endorphins, which are 'feel-good' hormones, that make them feel better when they do it.