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Why does my girlfriend cut herself?

301 Answers
Last Updated: 10/09/2019 at 2:27am
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Zeina Ghoul, LLPC

Pre-Licensed Professional

I help guide clients to create positive change in a non-judgmental and supportive atmosphere.

Top Rated Answers
May 4th, 2018 7:36pm
People cut themselves for various reasons. They usually cut when they want to escape feeling numb or when they want to feel something other than the sadness and pain. The best thing you can do is be there for her and try to help her. Don't get angry and give her an ultimatum.
May 13th, 2018 11:06am
There are many reasons one can recure to self-harm. To most people is a way of coping with emotions, while to others its a way to feel something, even if its phisical pain. Best way to know should be ask her, that can also help her vent about her feelings and you could try to help her better that way. Hope she gets well soon, good luck.
May 16th, 2018 2:27pm
It could be a lot of reasons we all have our own reasons to do it. It could be because it helps get rid of the pain inside
May 18th, 2018 1:19am
Your girlfriend is probably going through something that's difficult for her to manage. She is struggling with mental health issues such as depression or bipolar disorder. These mental illnesses will often make a person feel numb and void of emotion. For most people, cutting and other forms of self harm will be them trying to feel something again, or it might be an attempt at suicide. Cutting can become an addiction and is very dangerous. You should make sure she is getting professional help from a psychologist or a psychiatrist.
May 18th, 2018 12:00pm
People cut for several different reasons. The only way to find out why she does it is to ask her yourself.
May 19th, 2018 6:19pm
People cut themselves for different reasons. Sometimes because they are going through rough times and mentally cant handle it so the cut to forget the mental pain. Other cases it is the opposite. They will cut because they feel mentally numb and need to feel something. I suggest talking to her about it and just be there to support her and help her get clean. It will take time but together you can get there.
May 23rd, 2018 2:41am
She might feel bad about herself, and wish that she looked better, or different. She may also feel "numb" and think that the only way for her to feel something is to harm herself.
May 26th, 2018 4:19am
Self-injury can be triggered through a variety of different things. It can be incredibly frustrating and upsetting through the eyes of a loved one, it's best not to understand but to offer emotional support. Quite strangely, trying to relate to someone who is self harming can be a dangerous thing to do. No one can ever completely understand how a person is feeling, no matter how much you know them. I would advise recommending her to a mental health professional, if that is a shallow option, all you can really do is offer her emotional support. An individual who self harms is more than likely going through a tough time, it never hurts to have someone there to talk to :)
May 31st, 2018 6:24am
She May be going through something she feels she cant handle ir is depression itself. Maybe you should talk to her and try and help.
May 31st, 2018 8:05am
To take away whatever pain she nay be emotionally feeling. A cry for help and attention . A feeling of loneliness
June 8th, 2018 8:17pm
There can be many, many reasons for this. Here are few possible ones. Cutting can be a result of mental illness such as depression and anxiety. Some people who cut do so to relieve their sadness or be able to easily identify why they are hurting. It can also allow the self-harmer to "feel alive" instead numb or dissociated. Those who self-harm do NOT do it for attention but rather as a way to cope with emotions and issues, both past and present. Do not look down on your girlfriend, but try to get her help.
June 13th, 2018 8:44am
People have many different reasons for self harm. Sometimes it is a cry for help sometimes it is a stress reliever and sometimes it's a way to get attention (this is no way inferring this is bad. If someone is resorting to self harm for attention they must really need need help)😞
June 15th, 2018 7:40pm
She might be going though some self confidence issues or depression. You should talk to her and be with her as much as you can and help her to feel she is not alone and hug her tightly and tell her you love her her many time a day until she overcome this period and seek medical advice
June 20th, 2018 9:44am
She may be dealing with her own issues at the time, and cutting herself may be a release of the stress that is building up inside of her.
June 20th, 2018 4:56pm
There are a lot of reasons that people self harm. Sometimes, its because they feel numb and want the physical pain to feel something. And other times, their emotional pain is too much so they distract themselves with physical pain. It may be a cry for help. There are lots of reasons why people self harm but always remember, its not your fault. A person with mental illness might blame someone for it instead of facing up to the real reason. I know its scary, but the first step is talking to her. Tell her you are worried about her safety and mental health and that she should get some help. Sometimes people who self harm will promise to stop so as to not hurt you/so they can keep doing it without you saying something. Keep in mind, even if they stop, they still need help. Relapsing is always there and they will need professional help to really stop. The second step is telling a trusted adult about her self harm. You might feel like you're betraying her if you do this, but keep in mind her safety. The third step is just supporting her. The road to recovery is long and hard but so worth it in the end. Trust that one day she will be happy and not want to self harm, but in the meantime, be there to hold her hand.
June 22nd, 2018 1:48pm
Self harm, like drinking, consuming drugs, bullying...etc are all coping methods one use in the hope to soothe their despair. It's inevitable to encounter misery in the life, therefore what you require is a healthy way to properly deal with your stress to life.
June 23rd, 2018 10:18am
She might be suffering from a problem her mind can comprehend and bear, and this sometimes leads to a state where a person finds pleasure to harm thereselves.
June 23rd, 2018 2:40pm
Because she's hurt. Far deeper than it may seem. She may feel like a scar on her body is nothing compared to the scar on my heart and mind. But don't say "please stop". Or "Why are you doing this?" Instead be by her side and tell her: "I'll always be by your side."
July 5th, 2018 12:38pm
Cutting is a form of coping with difficult situations in life. It releases endorphins throughout the body which makes people feel good and helps block the bad emotions that are inside of her.
July 5th, 2018 10:32pm
It may be a way to cope. Cutting releases endorphins which make us feel better. It may also be because she just likes it. Ask her, but be cautious while asking because it is personal for each person.
July 8th, 2018 9:18am
You won’t find the answer from me or anyone else. Only her. Don’t go up to her and ask “why do you cut yourself”. Or try to take away the object that she does it with. It’ll make her uncomfortable. Make sure to be serious and mature and gentle and compassionate . Ask her when did she start. How does it feel for her. What triggers her to do it. Where she puts the objects she does it with, but reassure her you’re not there to take them. You’re there to help her stay away from them. then you can see the answer. Lots of people do it for different reasons. Some do it to cope or to seek attention for help or because they want to feel something or they want to see the blood come out or the way the scars heal/look. Don’t make her feel crazy. Make her feel understood and loved and let her know she’s more then her cuts and scars. Don’t leave her if you feel her problems are too much for you. Cause at that moment of your curiosity, it isn’t about you. It’s about her. And her safety and well-being and you helping her to cope or stop or find replacements for self harm.
July 13th, 2018 6:45am
Your girlfriend could be struggling with something in her life or she could be clinically depressed, or suicidal. No matter what it is you should try talking to her and maybe trying to get professional help.
July 15th, 2018 5:43am
From my experience, most people cut because they learned it as a coping skill from someone else. They use it as a way of relief and find relaxation in it, knowing that they can control their pain.
July 15th, 2018 3:07pm
She may feel like it may be the only thing in her control. She can't control her emotional and mental pain, but she can control her physical pain. It may be grounding for her to be able to control that. Healthy? definitely not. But maybe it's the only option she thinks she has.
July 18th, 2018 1:16pm
She might be going through a hard time and doesn't know how to cope. It is possible that she's doing for control or a way to release her emotions.
July 19th, 2018 4:44am
Maybe she cut herself because she feels bad about herself or it might help her to cope with things in her life you should talk to her about it
July 19th, 2018 11:24pm
I am glad you have asked this, sometimes it can be difficult for partners to understand this. Cutting is just one of the many forms of self-injury. Many people use it as a coping strategy, which means that there is something else going on with them, something causing them difficulties, and then use self-injury as a way of dealing with this other thing that they are experiencing. It can provide a distraction and a release of the internal pressure that they feel. Also , although it might sound a bit strange, there can be an element of taking care of themselves and showing themselves some compassion which they can find in the process of treating and taking care of the wounds. I appreciate that this is only a general answer but hope you that you might find it useful.
July 20th, 2018 4:48am
Some people self harm if they are feeling overwhelmed and want 'relief', while others may do it if they are feeling numb or they may do it to punish themselves. I would encourage you to speak to her about it and try to get her some help so she can learn to cope in more healthy ways.
July 25th, 2018 12:58pm
Some people cut themselves as a way to deal with their emotions, to make them physical rather than mental. Some people cut themselves to punish themselves.
July 28th, 2018 2:56am
Sometimes, sadness can be very overwhelming and people feel the need to take it out on themselves because they may feel as though it is their fault.