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Why should I go to a psychologist if he would have to tell my parents that I am hurting myself and I do not want them to know?

23 Answers
Last Updated: 07/31/2018 at 4:59am
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Veronica Wade-Hampton, LPC

Licensed Professional Counselor

I enjoy working with individuals of all capacities as I view the role of therapist as one in which you help the client learn to cope with the pressures of daily life.

Top Rated Answers
Erynn
- Expert in Self-Harm
November 28th, 2014 1:36am
1) he might not. It depends on your age, location, and their privacy policy. You can ask them when you go in "What is your privacy policy?" and they will both explain it to you and give you it in written form. 2) It can mean you finally get the help you need. As much as you don't want your parents to know, it may give you support you need - maybe from them, but more importantly from a psychologist who can help you learn DBT and CBT skills that can help you recover. If you want to recover, telling someone is eventually a must-do step. 3) If you aren't ready yet to recover, that's okay. No one on here can make you talk to a psychologist or psychiatrist. However, I do advise it. Still, if you don't want to recover (which some people don't yet), then you don't really have any reason to go. If any part of you wants to recover though, AND you think you might like to encourage that part of your mind and heart to grow so that someday you truly want to recover, then I would really consider telling someone and getting help.
JulyGirl
June 22nd, 2015 2:29pm
A psychologist is a trained professional who knows the mind and its working. Besides, parents are there for support. It's no point hiding from them that you need help.
Anonymous
October 6th, 2015 1:38am
You don't have to talk about the self-harm e.g. I kept telling my counsellor that I used to self harm, even though I was doing it at the time. They won't tell if you emphasise why you don't want them to know
Anonymous
November 25th, 2014 3:31am
Well, it is because a psychologist knows better on how to deal with such situations. I guess your parents deserve to know what your problem is...
Puffin
November 25th, 2014 5:30pm
A psychologist has a oath of secrecy. He isn't allowed to tell anybody anything what you tell him unless it's putting you or/and your environment in danger.
Zoey24601
December 4th, 2014 12:06pm
If your parents support you enough to send you to a psychologist then they probably support you enough to help you with this problem. If they aren't angry that you need to see someone professionally they won't be angry that you self harm. They love you.
Anonymous
December 30th, 2014 3:49am
A psychologist will help you sort through your emotions. With some, there's confidentiality, though that is not guaranteed when you are in immediate danger.
Anonymous
January 4th, 2015 2:33am
If you were to tell a physiologist about you self-harming, you may even request for it to be kept private, but that's not the best choice. You parents should be aware so they can arrange for you to talk about it with the physiologist. If your parents were to confront you about it, just tell them that you do not wish to speak to them about it, if you honestly feel that way, but speaking to a professional about it would help and you may even realize why you shouldn't self-harm.
Braesiat
April 9th, 2015 11:17pm
letting somebody, anybody know is the first step to dealing with the problem. No one can or will help you if they don't know whats going on.. and unfortunately some of the first people that need to know are your parents because whether you like it or not they are the closest to you. a psychologist is a great way to fully understand your problem.
tobetheuniverse
June 29th, 2015 7:00am
While having family know about self harm is an extremely challenging thing, it is very helpful (and somewhat of a relief) to have people know about it. Secrets are hard to keep sometimes, and tiptoeing around them can be very harmful to us as it can be very stressful to maintain! While you may not want them to know right now, they can't help you if they don't know, and they will be able to help alongside the psychologist and understand your situation easier, which will allow them to know what tools they will need to offer you their assistance and support. In addition, the psychologist is a good idea, as it can sometimes be easier to open up about these uncomfortable situations with someone "on the outside" that you do not particularly know.
Tejash
July 27th, 2015 3:33am
You could ask your psychologist to withhold this information under the practitioner-client confidentiality agreement, which if he fails to do so, he could be sued by you. I would say go to a psychologist who knows what is best for you, and when it is most appropriate if you wish to let your parents know, if at all.
Anonymous
August 11th, 2015 11:46pm
I don't know what country you live in, but in Europe, if you tell a psychologist that they shouldn't talk to your parents about that stuff for now, then they might be fine with it and not tell your parents. My therapist once told me that if you are in great danger of committing suicide, then she would have to tell my mother for safety reasons. So if you talk to that psychologist about you hurting yourself and you tell them not to tell your parents about it, then they might not tell your parents. Though I can't guarantee for anything and it's the psychologist's decision if they do. Though, everything else that you tell that person will be kept in that room and nobody is allowed to have insight in the files other than you. Also, if that psychologist thinks that you are in great danger of hurting yourself or others extremely, then he will have to tell your parents. But you might wanna ask that psychologist about how they handle that because I don't know if it's different from each country.
KDillinea
August 24th, 2015 1:57pm
It'd be best to go to therapy or counseling; someplace where someone wouldn't tell your parents, but they have the resources and the professional experience to help you through your time. They can also be there to cope and come up with a way to tell your parents that you harm.
HereForYou92
September 22nd, 2015 10:05am
going to a psychologist helps in 2 ways: one, helps you get a better clarity on your problem and helps you better in understanding your current situation and two, telling your parents is never a bad thing... i am sure no one will want to hurt their parents and thats the reason we hide things from them... but one think that we need to keep in mind is that parents will always support us and always will help us resolve our problems.
RiseFromObscurity
November 9th, 2015 9:43pm
I have a past with a similar situation but with a mental illness which I was embarrassed of. Let me tell you right now, the pain and anger and loneliness you feel now is much greater than the pain it would take to let your parents know. It will initially hurt when you are healed. Just like how you clean out a wound causes it to burn but it then becomes clean and can heal properly. This is the same thing.
SmoomS
December 21st, 2015 4:30pm
Your parents love you, no matter what. They are always there for you through any trouble you have and will provide you will all their support. They will NEVER be angry at you for hurting yourself.
Anonymous
February 8th, 2016 4:19am
They can help you tell them. It may be more comforting to have the help before they know as then you are taking initial steps to get better
Aube777
August 30th, 2016 2:59pm
Maybe he wouldn't tell: he is under professional secret, so unless you're putting yourself in danger by hurting yourself, he can't really tell your parents. The psychologist is here to help you deal with your thoughts and will surely help you to develop alternative means instead of hurting yourself. Please trust him! and if you're not comfortable with your psychologist, you can always change and go see another one that suits you better.
Anonymous
September 2nd, 2016 3:27am
Maybe it would be a good thing for both your parents and a psychologist to know.... Take all the help you can get and try to get better.
brigettebee
September 17th, 2016 10:21pm
Your psychologist shouldn't tell your parents about your self-harm unless you are cutting yourself to a point where you are losing a lot of blood or where you are likely to die. If you are a hazard to yourself or others, this information should remain confidential, so I would suggest you find another psychologist. And don't be afraid to tell your parents. Chances are they'll be worried and more supportive of you than you think they will. Good parents would be hurt to see their child going through that and wouldn't do anything other than try to help you
Anonymous
December 5th, 2017 3:13am
You should go to another and more reliable psychologist then. Not all psychologist are like this. I am sure you can find someone who can really help you and respect your privacy.
Anonymous
May 21st, 2018 10:08pm
Psychologist are trained to handle situations like this and by having your parents aware of the situation recovery becomes more likely. However, you can always tell your psychologist your concerns about telling your parents as well if there is a risk of it making your situation worse.
Anonymous
July 31st, 2018 4:59am
It's important for your parents to know if you're doing such things as self harm. Your parents care about you and love you. They only want you to be safe, happy and healthy. Your well being is more important than them being possibly angry with you