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Tracy-Kate Teleke, PsyD, M.A., LMFT
Marriage & Family Therapist
I assist adults and couples in CA experiencing relationship challenges and interpersonal struggles including anxiety, depression, and a myriad of other life challenges.
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Anonymous - Expert in Sexual Health
October 19th, 2020 11:37am
You feel guilty after masturbating?
You feel guilty because, deep down, you have the answer to that question, and you are very much aware that what you have done is wrong.
If you feel that way, you probably shouldn't do it next time. Masturbating is what few people do, and once a person starts, it is hard to stop. So I would say it is better not to ignite a fire you are very much aware you cannot quench. I know you are stronger than you think. I wouldn't want to advise you on how to go about this because a method that would work for someone may not work for the other person
Sometimes people feel guilty after masturbating because of the way they grew up learning about sexual health and masturbation. It all depends on the context of why they're feeling guilty but the most common reason is because they feel bad about touching themselves because they weren't taught that exploring your sexuality and self pleasure is completely normal, in fact many humans all around the world masturbate. Usually guilt around masturbation comes from the societal stigma that it's wrong that you touch yourself or it comes from some religious beliefs that it's wrong. In the end, it's your body and you're allowed to do what you want with it, no one else can tell you what to do with YOUR body. I hope this helps.
Thinking back to my childhood I'd say the problem is lack of open communication or avoiding a taboo subject. My parents never had the birds and the bees talk with me. I can't remember how old we were at the time but my cousin was over and we were out playing and climbing around in the hey barn and one day we decided to see what our differences were. We both had our pants down and were looking and touching and then mom showed up. We were told that we were sick and what we were doing was filthy and discussing and we should be ashamed of ourselves. There was some wrath of god and some what's your father going to think and on and on. The teen years hit and brought with it much shame. Wet dreams and that thing popping up at odd uncomfortable times. All I knew was that the urges I had were something to be ashamed of. The first time I touched it long enough for something to happen I freaked a little. At that point I had no idea what was supposed to happen and what did seemed filthy and disgusting. . Parents really need to have the uncomfortable chats with their kids.
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