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How do I stop letting what others think of me get to me?

7 Answers
Last Updated: 11/04/2020 at 4:15pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
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Jennifer Patterson, LMFT, ATR-BC

Art Therapist

Life can be messy. Sometimes you need a little support to make your way through it. I love to help guide people through their challenges & to find the beauty in our messes.

Top Rated Answers
incognitoknight0101
October 29th, 2020 8:02am
Each one of us have different mindset based on our experiences and understanding. We humans tend to judge others from the little incomplete data or rumors even though we don't know much about the person we are judging. So what others are thinking about you is based on the incomplete knowledge they have of you, few talks they had with you, their own personal experiences, prejudices n bias. They don't know you completely. They aren't aware how beautiful you are from inside. They haven't tried much to understand you and they may have their own reasons for their actions which we aren't aware of. Others opinion are Not Facts. Opinions aren't Truth. And Opinions keep on changing. It's easy to misjudge than to take efforts/steps in knowing and understanding the other person You know yourself and how much kindness & love is filled within you. Nobody knows you better than you yourself. Don't let anyone's opinion influence you. Believe in yourself. People will say something or the other. Don't give them the power to influence you and negatively affect you. Make yourself understand that Whatever people say, you won't let those words break you. People usually misjudge. Create a boundary around you that their misjudgment won't affect you. You are not what others say. Your mental health is priority. You matter! You are a beautiful soul! You are the best person who knows you well!
Sunisshiningandsoareyou
October 29th, 2020 11:53am
It's very much understandable and relatable that sometimes we allow what others think about us ,get to us, so much so ,that it affects us deeply and we are constantly hyper aware of our surroundings and how we conduct ourselves with others. While everyone has a different way to approach things and come out of it, I believe in order to stop letting others affect us, we must remember that , no one knows us completely, people only seee a part of us, they only get to judge what we are able to express , our feelings, thoughts and emotions are intricately personal to our own and nobody has a full view and understanding of it, and since they don't know us ,our situation, our experiences, our thoughts and feelings, they don't get a right to enforce their personal opinions of us ,on us ! And no matter how close the person be, Only We get to judge Us and strive for better!
noworries95
October 22nd, 2020 12:48am
Good question. A lot of people struggle with this, myself included. Although some people claim to be unaffected by others' thoughts, the truth is, most of us are concerned with how others perceive us. Some people are just better at managing their negative and self-destructive thoughts, which some call our "inner critic." A self help path worked for me. I began to exercise twice a week, and read "the solution to social anxiety" by aziz gazipura. Following the guidelines in the book, I slowly began to put myself out there, talking to more people, eventually going out to social places alone. With social confidence comes acceptance that you cant please everyone. I also recommend a therapist; it helps to have someone tell you when you are being too hard on yourself. Good luck out there! You seem to be a thoughtful person, and are certainly worthy of love and respect.
Anonymous
October 28th, 2020 1:07pm
you dont need to worry about what they think because THERE NOT YOU you need to see whats beautiful in you and not focus on what others are saying because there not confident in there on body so they make negative comments about other people to make them fell more "powerful" everyone should be confident and not care what any one say about you i went through this in the start of middle school i was not "skinny enough" to the society eyes and i had acne and i couldent even look at my self in the mirror but when i found confidence in myself and makeing sure those people knew that there words dont affect me then first of they stoped taling bad because there was no point to because i could care less what people thought of me and actually after everyone saw i was confident i became pretty popular and alot of boys started likeing me and all these girl wanted to be my friend see you just needa know your worth ok
GoofyJordan
October 29th, 2020 10:29am
I personally just recognize the fact that at the end of the day, it doesn't matter. If they like you then they like you and if they don't, then it's just whatever. That's just how it is sometimes. But you need to be your biggest fan, because it's who you are, and what matters is that you're happy. If you're happy with yourself, then nobody can stop you. Another way of thinking about it is who cares at the end of the day. A year from now, a month from now, a week from now, even tomorrow, what others thought of you today, they won't remember.
Actuallynobody017
November 3rd, 2020 8:18pm
You cannot. That is how we are made. You just need to focus on real thought about you, which you feel are rational and believable and not hurtful. You cannot make everybody happy but you can try but if thoughts about yourself hurt you then those thoughts according to me are not valid enough. These are just evil thoughts which will come all your life but you have to ignore them. Work on those thoughts which can work on and the other thoughts ignore them until later. I hope you understand. Do not be too harsh to yourself and to others. Cheers.
MIKhan2000
November 4th, 2020 4:15pm
It’s said that people would care a lot less about what others think about them if they knew how little others think about them. Humans tend toward cognitive distortions, patterns of negative thinking that can hurt our mood or behavior. For example, we may assume the worst, or filter out the good in a situation and pay attention only to the bad. Or we may overgeneralize or jump to conclusions. Pay attention to your thoughts, and question them rather than allowing impressions to run away with you. You may discover that what you’re fretting over exists only in your mind. It can be hard to shake the feeling that if you just get things right, you will be loved and admired. But this is a fruitless pursuit, not only because perfection is an illusion, but because what people think about you has more to do with them than with you. What do you really like? What do you really want? Are you making choices about your career, relationships, and pastimes because you want them or because they’ll please or impress someone else? Allow yourself to try new things and wonder, “What would I pursue or enjoy if I wasn't so worried about being judged?” Somewhere out there are people who can identify with you and appreciate you for who you are. Don’t waste time trying to hang on to those who expect you to conform to their wishes and wants. It can be terrifying to go against the grain, speak out, take a risk, or face disapproval. But decide what matters to you, trust yourself, and go for it. We don’t grow by always playing it safe; we grow by allowing ourselves a chance to fail. The anxiety you feel about what others think can sometimes be overcome with a little self-awareness. But in some cases, especially for those with underlying trauma or mental health issues, professional help can help you get to the root of your feelings. Allow yourself to reach out for the care you need rather than prolonging your suffering. It’s a tough reality, but you will never be able to make everyone like you, no matter what you do. But look on the bright side: No one else can do it, either. So accept the twinges that will inevitably come when you realize you haven’t made a connection with someone, and focus instead on a goal that will take you further toward being the kind of person you want to be learning to like yourself, flaws and all.
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