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How to talk to my teacher about my problems?. I am so scared and nervous I have never spoken to anyone before

16 Answers
Last Updated: 09/04/2021 at 6:32am
1 Tip to Feel Better
Moderated by

Johanna Liasides, MSc


I work with youth and young adults to help them improve depressive symptoms and self-esteem as well as effectively address family, relationship and peer conflicts.

Top Rated Answers
- Expert in Student Life
January 18th, 2017 8:26am
Hi, I'm a teacher and I can tell you that most teachers go into this job because they really want to help students. Even teachers who seem to be strict almost always care more about students than they show or they wouldn't be doing the job at all. Just be yourself and be honest and you'll probably be surprised at their willingness to help. You can do it :)
- Expert in Student Life
April 10th, 2017 9:16am
It takes courage to open up to anyone, so your teacher will understand why you would be nervous. Tell him or her after class one day that you'd like to talk to them about something that's been on your mind. If they are available to talk, you can start off by telling them the general situation and how you feel about it. Your teacher was once your age before and will understand the worries and concerns you have,
Anonymous - Expert in Student Life
January 2nd, 2017 8:32pm
Just remember that teachers are trained professionals and are able to communicate with students about problems they are having. They are not mind readers unfortunately, so you do need to take the first step and ask to speak to them privately. It's very simple, just say "is there a way we can talk after class about some concerns I have" then they will take it from there and pretty much lead the conversation mKing it much easier for yoso communicate. The reward will be great because you conquered your fear of communicating and you may come up with a resolution with your teacher about your concerns .
Anonymous - Expert in Student Life
January 29th, 2017 5:59am
If you would like to speak to your teacher about something, maybe it would be a good idea to ask them in advance to meet with them personally. It might not be a good idea to meet with them during office hours, simply because this time can be open to other students and it seems to me that you would like to make a private discussion. So, if you feel comfortable, you might send them an email or ask them in person if they have any free time during the week to meet with you personally. When having a conversation, it might be useful to disclose up front how you are feeling - that you are nervous and scared. If you like, you also might share that this is something you have not brought up before. It might help them understand the place you are coming from. Just take your time and if its helpful to you, take deep breaths. If you're not sure how to say what you need to say, maybe writing them down can generate some ideas on how to start the conversation. This might include events, thoughts, emotions, etc. I wish you luck!
- Expert in Student Life
January 16th, 2017 9:42am
I think it's great that you are considering talking to your teacher. I hope this is somebody you trust most out of everyone else. It's normal to feel scared and nervous, but taking little steps may help ease that feeling. For example, start making casual/light conversation with your teacher first. The more you speak to them, the more comfortable you'll feel around them. Talk to them in the privacy of a one-to-one setting. If it helps, think of the things you want to say first. Maybe even write it down.
- Expert in Student Life
January 19th, 2017 3:50pm
You could approach them at break or lunchtime and ask if it is okay to have a quick chat! Explain that you're nervous about it and how you want some help. They'll understand as they are there to help you. Good luck!
- Expert in Student Life
February 17th, 2018 3:41pm
I'm so glad you want to reach out and ask for help from a teacher! I've done it before and it was nerve-wracking, so I totally understand where you're coming from. Make sure it's a teacher you trust, then from there, ask them before school, before or after class, during lunch break or after school if they're free for a chat about the concern you have, whether it be a personal or academic one. Remember that teachers are people too, and they love to help students, so more often than not, they will be willing to listen and try to help as best as they can. Good luck- I hope it goes well! xx
September 4th, 2018 4:31am
You seem to have a lot on your plate right now... Are all these problems related to school? Are there other things that you don't really want to talk about? What is the main issue that bothers you the most? Perhaps you can focus on that first. If you feel safe in confiding these problems with your teacher and if you trust your teacher, then you have nothing to worry about. Most often the first step is the hardest step. I suggest you take it one step at a time and reach out to someone whom you trust and who will not judge you for the things that you have done or for the problems that you are having. Maybe you can approach your teacher by saying, "Ma'am/Sir, can I talk to you in private?" or "Ma'am/Sir, can I talk to you after class?" Hope that helps. All the best.
June 4th, 2019 5:35pm
You must be really proud of yourself that you are willing to talk to your teacher about your problems! I understand it's really difficult, but remember that teachers do care about their students' problems. Sometimes, you need to count until 5 and take the shot. It's okay to feel scared or nervous! Most people in your situation would feel the same thing. Try to take deep breaths, think of a nice picture and distract yourself! Talk to your teacher when he/she will be calmed and willing to listen to you! Answer their questions and help them to understand how you feel! Good luck!
August 26th, 2019 6:07pm
First of all, you have to be sure that you're ready and willing to hear what the teacher has to say. You can leave them a note on their desk asking if you can talk to them or you can leave them a note about the problem you want to talk to them about if you're scared to say it in person. Or if you want to tell them in person, you might go to them before school starts, during breaks or after school to talk. Start by thanking them for giving you their time and then tell them about what you wanted to say. I hope this helped you :)
April 13th, 2020 2:47pm
One of our most powerful strategies for teachers is to listen to their students, to learn who they are, and to find out what sparks their curiosity. Ask your teacher when will she be available? On her free time approach to her and tell her you have a problem that you need her experienced advice, whether it is a personal problem or issue related to you courses or grades, be honest and tell her what is bothering you. If you didn't talk to your teacher about your problem things might become worse, after all your grades are the most important. Be well prepared, list your concerns and questions on a paper and go ahead, give it a try, I am sure your teacher will try her best to comfort you with her answers.
December 12th, 2017 2:46am
Talking about our problems to someone requires a good amount of bravery. It is usually easier to open up to someone you are comfortable with. If you do have to communicate with your teacher about this, it could be a good idea to start the conversation by saying that you wish to share a problem with him/her and that you wish that the discussion remains confidential. Proceed when you have that assurance, and it could help you open up.
June 18th, 2017 4:50am
Hey there! Does your school have accommodations? Most schools have them for students with mental illness or health issues. After you go through the process, they usually give you a letter and an id card to show your teachers. Also, check your syllabus. In all of my grad school syllabi it has a bunch of info about how they are required to ensure the educational success of accommodations students. That might help break the ice so to speak so that you feel more confident knowing the school recognizes what you are struggling with. And then, my suggestion is just to be honest and open. See if they have office hours, or email them to schedule something. I'm fairly certain that most professors are trained and must not discriminate you because of any issues you have, and knowing that may also make you feel more confident. Let them know that you are struggling with some things, and even though you hope they wont, that these things may affect your school work.
December 31st, 2018 7:03am
It depends on your problem. Is it academic-related? If so, then take a deep breathe ( dont forget to exhale) make yourself calm first. Remember teachers are there to help us/you. In school students are their priority. Though they have this skill to lead/facilitate students simultaneously, opening up your problem makes their work somewhat easy for them. This help them to understand you more better. Go back to your question, on a second time relax yourself. Nervousness is totally normal and teachers do understand you really. Tell your problem slowly. They are ready to listen to you patiently. It totally normal to be scared. They know it. After telling your problem wait for her/his answer. Then thank her/his afterwards. Hope it helps. God bless.
August 17th, 2021 3:27am
Hello. I can understand how you'd feel scared and nervous about talking to your teacher about your problems. I've been through this type of situation myself but I have found a way to approach the situation. Each year I receive new professors and the first thing I always do is think out how I want the conversation to go. This provides me with a outline of what I want to talk about and really get across. From there I ask the professor if there is a good time where I can talk with them 1-on-1. Right before I enter the room I take a deep breath to calm my nerves. When starting out I explain a little bit of my back history of the condition I have and why it should be relevant information to them. I stress how I need them to understand the information as my accommodations/needs are simply there to ensure I succeed in the best way possible I can. While it can be scary I highly encourage you to talk with your teacher. Most, if not all, of my teachers have wanted to see me succeed. Part of this involves them willing to work with a student to make sure that student has all resources possible they may need. We have to be our biggest advocates! Advocating is so important as how can a teacher help us succeed if they don't understand our problems? Good luck with your teachers!
September 4th, 2021 6:32am
I’m glad to hear that you have contemplated speaking to your teacher. Most students do not even consider it as an option. I understand you have some issues that you feel can be solved by your teacher. It could be anything from homework to not comprehending some lessons. Anyway, let’s understand that the primary role of a teacher is to facilitate your learning. Some of them may appear fearsome and angry but, they would be happy to help if you approach them. It’s part of their job to help you. Those teachers were also students once and they would understand it.