Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav

Is it normal for dads to touch your thigh? I do not feel comfortable when this is going on.

21 Answers
Last Updated: 08/28/2022 at 9:41pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
Moderated by

Maryna Svitasheva, PhD. RP

Licensed Professional Counselor

Psychotherapy I provide is based on a dialog and your active intention to look for a solution with the therapist's assistance

Top Rated Answers
March 27th, 2021 12:57am
It is not normal for a father to be touching your thighs. I am sure that this makes you feel very uncomfortable. Maybe addressing your dad to find out why he is doing it may help resolve that internal conflict that you are feeling. Tell him how it makes you feel and ask him not to do it. In the event that does not work, go to someone else that you trust and tell them about this event. It may be a sutel way of Grooming you for something more. Please do't keep silent. Tell an adult. I really respect your strength in posting this question. Please stay safe.
August 3rd, 2021 4:50pm
Hey there, thankyou for reaching out . They say , there are 2 kinds of touch - a good touch and a bad touch . People feel warm and caressed with the good touch, it could be a handshake , a pat , or a hug . Specially touch from known ones and loved ones feels more comfortable and warm . However when a touch makes us feel uncomfortable or uneasy , and makes us question if it is okay or not - it might be a bad touch and never okay to come from anyone be it even a loved one or someone we respect . It is normal for parents to hug their kids or pat their backs but personally I don't think touching thighs is appropriate spsically when It appears you're feeling uncomfortable about your father touching your thigh , which appears falling in the category of bad touch and super normal to feel uneasy by it . Super okay to reach out to someone who you confide in to share about it , or if comfortable to politely ask your father to not touch you as it makes you uncomfortable ~ hoping he didn't do it intentionally, please do be mindful of the situation, in all cases remember you deserve to feel safe and comfortable, and voice your discomfort. Take care 💛
May 20th, 2021 6:06am
It can be normal, but it depends on the family. Don't feel pressured to accept something you dislike because "it happens to other people." If it makes you uncomfortable you should definitely speak up! You should not have to deal with any unwanted behavior that you don't want to experience. If he doesn't respect you and continues doing it, you should let an adult or someone you trust know and get their help. It's possible that he didn't intend to be inappropriate, but how you feel about it is more important. It can be intimidating to speak up but your safety and comfort matters more.
April 11th, 2021 4:23am
Hi, I think that if your dad is touching your thighs in a way that makes you uncomfortable, it probably isn't normal. It's possible, of course, that there is no inappropriate intention but either way if it makes you feel uncomfortable it's worth asking him to stop, and saying you aren't comfortable with it. You don't need to justify your feeling uncomfortable, and he should stop if it bothers you. His reaction to your asking may also help you understand whether he mean anything by it. Good luck, and remember that if someone behaves inappropriately towards you, it is not your fault.
April 12th, 2021 6:00pm
It's surely not normal for fathers to touch you in any way that make you feel uncomfortable, because that is a form of sexual harassment and could lead into worse things if you ignore it. Fathers are there to be there for you emotionally and physically also take care of you, not doing things like touching you in a weird way. You have to stand up and tell him No and stop because he will keep doing those things if you don't speak up. But if he continues you need tell an trusted adult before it gets worse. YOU CAN DO IT.
May 25th, 2021 6:05am
I wouldn't be able to say if it was normal for fathers to touch their children's thighs, but if you feel uncomfortable then it's obviously something that isn't okay for you. It doesn't matter if it's normal or not if it makes you uncomfortable if you know what I mean. If this continues to happen and you remain uncomfortable about the situation then you can try to reach out to someone with who you can share this, perhaps another trusted adult. No one should be touching you in a way that you aren't okay with, no matter who they are. Personally, my father has never done this to me but I can't say so for others.
January 5th, 2022 6:02am
If you don't feel comfy, let it be known. If he continues doing it then you need to talk to someone about it. Its not normal. My father used to do it to me till I told him I wasn't comfy and then he stopped. He understood that I didn't take it as play and I took it seriously. I'm sorry that this is happening to you and I'm sorry that you don't like it. if it gets WORSE then you need to tell someone for sure so that they can help you.
April 30th, 2021 1:57am
I personally would not consider that appropriate, but the answer depends on your personal boundaries and what you do and do not feel comfortable with. I have a sister and my dad has never put his hands on her thigh - for any reason. My parents are big fans of showing physical affection, but they'd never touched me or my sister anywhere other than giving a hug and touching our arm or shoulder. If you feel uncomfortable with your dad touching you that way, you have every right to voice your concern and ask him to stop doing that because it violates your personal space.
July 26th, 2021 4:00pm
Hey! Defining normal is difficult but if you feel uncomfortable with it then it's not okay. What his intentions are, I don't know but that doesn't matter, it isn't okay if you aren't comfortable with it and you have said this to him. I wonder if you have said this to him because if he is still doing it, then that makes it a bit more wrong. Sorry you are feeling uncomfortable and all the best. Do feel free to connect with a listener if you would like some more 1 on 1 support, we are a friendly bunch!
April 9th, 2021 4:42am
No anything that is making you feel uncomfortable is not ok, even if it is your dad who is doing it, you can remove yourself from the situation or you can confront them by telling them that you don't feel comfortable with them doing that you can also tell another family member who cares about you to address the issue with you and let them know what is going on. It is not ok for anybody to touch someone without their permission especially if it is making you feel uncomfortable. If the behavior continues do tell another adult
April 12th, 2021 8:39am
When someone touches you in a way that feels uncomfortable, your options to respond are in the thousands - you have a lot to choose from - you can walk away - which is to talk with your feet - you are free to make a big production of it if you want - or you can simply walk away: "No communication IS communication." The intention or message of the person violating your personal space is often a mystery - they may feel they are being "loving" or "caring" - they may be unaware of how you feel and they may not care how you feel about it. You may not want a confrontation so you can walk away - if the person pursues you - you are free to create lots of distance - mentally, emotionally, physically - because they are then communicating that your feelings are irrelevant to them. I've never had this issue with my dad - I have no memory of my dad ever touching me. I never saw my dad touch anyone. None of my relatives were touchy feel people. As a teen, I had a boyfriend that I was totally comfortable hugging and touching - no issues at all - you have the right to walk away when someone touches you in a way that feels uncomfortable - as a warning, sometimes a man touches you when it feels awesome but it turns out he's a predator so always keep your guard up until you know them and their friends and their family and their exes ... decent people remain friends with their exes ... unless their ex turned out to be a monsters ... which is common.
September 15th, 2021 9:54am
First of all, thank you for bringing this up. Your comfort matters and anything that jeopardizes it deserves to be talked about. Secondly, if the way your father touches you causes discomfort, it isn't normal. Regardless of his intentions, the impact his actions have on you matters. If you feel confident enough to talk to your father about the issue directly, that's an excellent option going forward, but it's also completely understandable if you don't. If that's the case, another possible way to address the situation is to make a list of the people you do feel comfortable discussing the nature of your issue with, preferably a trusted authority figure you feel has your best interest in mind. (A counselor or therapist, a teacher, police officers, etc.) They'll be able to help you plot out the best course of action and lend their support to you in the process. You don't have to be alone in this.
May 8th, 2021 12:37am
The definition of normal varies from family to family. But what does not vary from family to family is the right to feel safe (comfortable). Just like with people outside of the family, you have the right to say when and how people can touch you. It can be difficult to navigate these conversations with close family but it needs to happen if you are not comfortable. If you have a close family member, maybe you could practice this conversation and work out what you want and need to say. Again, this is not about normal. This is about your right to feel comfortable and safe.
August 2nd, 2021 2:05pm
I would argue that it is not normal nor is it appropriate, especially as you do not feel comfortable. You do not consent to this, and he is breaching boundaries and trust. If this is a continuous occurrence, and has happened on multiple occasions I would seek help regardless. Do you have a family member, or trusted adult whom you can discuss this with? I would personally tell a teacher, doctor, social worker, or mental health professional. When you speak to someone, tell them how many times, when, where etc. They will help you. I hope you are doing okay as it sounds an awful experience to go through.
August 27th, 2021 1:26pm
Every family has their own way of showing compassion towards one another. This could be a hug, a high five, or maybe a touch on the leg. When these patterns are building, it is important to consider how you and your family members feel about the gesture. Some gestures, like giving a pat on the thigh, feels comfortable for the person doing the action but the person receiving it may feel a bit awkward, and that is completely okay. We probably can't assume what's going on in the person's head: whether it's a friendly pat or something more. But, we can consider having a conversation to tell them how we feel about it, because your feelings matter and they are valid enough to make a change if you see fit.
September 27th, 2021 3:18pm
It's hard to define what is "normal" because every person and father-child relationship is different. However, if the touching makes you feel uncomfortable, then it is certainly not okay, normal or not. If you feel you have a good relationship with your father, you can address the issue and see what he has to say about it and tell him that it makes you feel uncomfortable. If you don't feel safe doing that or if you do address it and he doesn't stop, then I think it is necessary to get help, because he does not have the right to touch you without your consent! A trusted adult, like another family member or counsellor, can help you. I can understand that it can be scary or embarrassing to talk about something like this, but it is YOUR body and it is your right to say no to any physical contact, no matter if it comes from a stranger or a family member! Stay strong and take care!
December 28th, 2021 10:50pm
I wouldn't say that this is atypical, but if it makes you uncomfortable or upset, you are well within your rights to ask him to stop, and to report it to someone if it continues after you've asked. If he truly doesn't mean anything bad by this or didn't think anything of it, he will most likely apologize because he didn't know it made you feel this way and won't do it anymore. If he continues, this is a serious issue that needs to be addressed. In that case, please tell a trusted, trustworthy adult (such as a teacher, nurse, or school guidance counselor) and if none of them will help, I highly encourage you to reach out to the authorities, Child Protective Services/Child Welfare, or another agency who can help you get out of that situation. I am so sorry you are going through this and it is completely valid to feel however upset you may feel about this. I also encourage you to reach out to a Listener if you're feeling confused or conflicted about this. Some of us have been through similar situations and may be able to help you work through your emotions. I hope you have a good day and that this ends easily for you.
March 2nd, 2022 8:13pm
it depends on how old you are like if you are a young girl and your dad keeps on doing it and you look uncomfortable and it seems like he does not care cause he still does it then i think you should tell him to stop if he does not then you need to talk to someone about it ... but if you are like 20 or older you are an adult and you should have the right to not to be touched in a spot you do not want to be touched in and if you tell him to stop and he does not then you need to remove yourself from him cause he is going to think it is okay to touch you and it's not it's your body, not his
April 15th, 2022 5:54am
No, it absolutely not normal. If you are a minor please talk to a teacher or trusted adult and ask them for help in this situation. That is highly inappropriate for any parent to do. Thank you for coming on here and telling us but it is urgent that you tell a trusted adult. If you are an adult you can also talk to other trusted adults about this, or you could just flat out tell him. Say it makes you uncomfortable and it's weird, and you want this behavior to stop. If he doesn't stop you can always leave said situation. Please don't do any of this if you are a minor though because it might make things worse for you. Just tell a trusted adult.
July 22nd, 2022 3:14am
It is not normal for your father to touch you in any way that causes you to feel uncomfortable. You wouldn't feel uncomfortable if it was not inappropriate, please trust your instincts. Please seek support for this, talk about it with someone you trust, and address this with your other parent or an adult you feel safe with (it can be a teacher, a grandparent..). This is not your fault and you should receive the support of an adult to address the situation. I would not advise you to address the situation by yourself, but if this rehappens before you could receive the support of an adult, please know that you are entitled to say no, this is your body and no one can touch it without your consent, not even your parents.
August 28th, 2022 9:41pm
Firstly, it is really brave of you to come forward and share this with us. Give yourself a big pat on the back for that alone, reaching out can be scary and you did that first major step! Because this type of behavior your dad is doing is making you uncomfortable, you have every right to not have it done to you, it's your own personal space and body. Your voice is powerful, reach out to a trusted adult in your life and let them know about this if you'd like for them to advocate for you on your behalf.