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Is it weird that I'm not sexually attracted to people? I've been like this since i was 14 when people my age were getting sexually attracted to others I wasn't, I'm now 29. Is there something wrong with me?

10 Answers
Last Updated: 06/23/2020 at 4:18pm
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Christie Belle, Master of Arts in Marriage and Family Therapy


I am a U.S. Air Force veteran and a ex-Army spouse. I am a divorced mother of two teenage boys, my youngest son has a diagnosis of autism, which I am very passionate about.

Top Rated Answers
Anonymous - Expert in Women's Issues
September 14th, 2018 1:42am
Hi! I'm the same as you! I used to think of myself as "defective" or "broken" until I found another word to describe me: Asexual! I'm a passionate, non-sexual lover of all my friends! I hug them and hang out and I love them and they love me! It's hard sometimes, living in our sex-saturated culture. Expectations - both my own and other people's - can be killer, and some days are better than others. But. It's okay. There's a lot of us, and we're pretty darn cool, in my biased opinion. ;) You don't have to want/have sex to have a full, wonderful, purposeful, intimate, joyful life overflowing with love! We're okay, Beloved. We're okay.
Anonymous - Expert in Women's Issues
January 23rd, 2018 1:35am
Let me start by saying that there is nothing wrong with you. Only you can determine this, but chances are, you're asexual. I suggest looking into that more so you can determine if you're asexual or not. When doing research about it, you might come across the word "ace". Ace is just short for asexual. If you happen to be asexual, let me say that it's okay to be that.. You have a whole community of people out there to support you. But know that no one can tell you whether or not you're asexual but you.
January 15th, 2019 4:05pm
Many people fake sexual attraction because sex is such a big deal in our culture. I think there are far more people that are not sexual than you think. I have a friend who will tell me she dates and brings home these losers because "she has needs". I'm over 50 and have been in 3 relationships. While I have has enjoyable sex with those 3, I can take it or leave it and have been attracted to very few people, while my friend is attracted to almost any healthy human being male or female. I have another friend in her 60's who has never been sexually attracted to anyone. Sexual desire and attraction are a continuum. We glorify sex in our culture right now so you are getting a screwed idea of what is normal.
December 23rd, 2017 7:33pm
No, there is nothing wrong with you. This is perfectly normal! All it means is that you can love someone without sexual emotions. It also means that you are asexual. Perfectly alright!
- Expert in Women's Issues
August 16th, 2019 1:39am
This is completely alright! It sounds like you are asexual, which is a totally normal sexual orientation. Asexual people can be just as happy as anyone else, in their own way! Only because something seems necessary for many people, it doesn't it has to be the same for everyone.
February 3rd, 2018 4:54pm
Good news! It is natural for some people to have no sexual attractions or desires, One good confirmation would be to work with a therapist to explore your feelings about this. Are there any negative feelings? If so, where do they come from? Often we feel condemnation because we are different, without stopping to fully explore the origin of those differences. Sometimes it’s just the way we are and that is 100% AOK :)
January 8th, 2019 12:49am
I dont think anything is wrong with you. You are you, and you dont have to fit into any kind of mold. Not in society, or in others expectations of who you should be, and when you should be it. You are uniquely you, and I would embrace, and be proud of all that comes with that. You dont have to be like everyone else or even fit in the "normal" category...what is that anyway? All you have to do, is be authentic to yourself. As long as you are doing that, then you know that you are living a true life, and thats all that counts right?
January 21st, 2019 8:36pm
Hello, No, it isn´t weird to feel that way. Lack of sexual attraction is asexuality, and perfectly normal. There is nothing wrong with you!! It´s common for asexuals to feel out of place, when their peers start talking about their first times, or other instances where sex is brought up. However, choosing to have sex or not is entirely your choice, and no one should pressure you into doing anything you don´t want to do. Asexuals who do have sex are just as valid as those who choose not to. Do not feel ashamed for your choice! I hope this helped ;) If it didn't, don´t hesitate to contact me, or another listener! That´s why we are here.
May 19th, 2020 9:47pm
No, there is nothing wrong with you, this just means you are asexual. It's okay to not have a sexual attraction towards someone as everyone is attracted to people in different ways. I have struggled with my own sexual attraction lately so I know how you feel. You can still have a romantic relationship with a partner without being sexually attracted to others. Asexual people can still live out their normal lives and there is absolutely nothing wrong with you. If you need to do more research, there are resources out there and there are people out there who you can talk to as well.
June 23rd, 2020 4:18pm
There is absolutely nothing wrong with you. Asexuality is a very normal, very valid sexual identity. It does not mean that you cannot find love or happiness. If you find that you also do not want to pursue romantic relationships, you may also identify as aromantic, but it is also totally fine if you are just asexual. I would recommend looking at 7 cups of tea online LGBTQ+ platform to try and find others who are members of the ace community. We are all here to help you on your journey to self-discovery, and learning more about the community you belong to is a good way to start.
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