Everyone else has it so easy. Why can't they share some of the load?
Last Updated: 03/12/2019 at 6:33am
Amy Justice, BS, MA, LCMHC
Licensed Professional Counselor
My passion is to help people overcome feeling "stuck" in unhealthy patterns by facilitating real, healthy changes through self-discovery and practical applications.
Top Rated Answers
Because ultimately our own burdens are ours alone to bare. Sometimes you may get lucky with a concerned friend or family member who is willing to help you out, but it's not something you can depend on. It also very likely that some of these other people you see as having it "so easy" are struggling with their own issues that you may be unaware of.
A lot of people think others have it easy. Someone might be looking at you, thinking "wow, they have it so easy! I wish I could be them, and not have to deal with my problems." The fact is, everyone has problems. Everyone goes through tough challenges, but we have to carry our own burdens, no matter how heavy.
In very simple awards, because we're all different people. Making the decision to share with a complete stranger very personal experiences, emotions, our whole life even is not easy at all. For a lot of people that resembles with standing naked in front of someone they just met, walking naked down the street. People have very different ways of unloading their souls and expressing the emotions, the feelings they're experiencing. Some write some paint, some go to support groups, others choose a 1-on-1 counseling process, others talk to their friends or go to church. It's a matter of what makes them become more confident and identify the solution that best suits them.
Everyone has their secret problems, which the world knows not. Often people are wearing masks that make it appear they have it all, or are at least not unhappy; this perpetuates the idea that 'everyone' has it 'so easy,' which causes us non-mask-wearers to feel insecure about having to work so hard. There are some very few who do in fact have it 'easy,' but their worldview is so different from those who have had to fight for anything, that it's very possibly they cannot comprehend what life is like on the other side of the fence, and therefore would not think there's a need to 'share the load.' But! It never hurts to ask people for a helping hand, and there's no shame in it. It's a great way to find out who our friends are.
People have their own problems, it's just that everyone expresses it in different ways. Where you might be open with your problems, they might keep them hidden to themselves. Don't assume that others don't have things going on too.
You might think that everyone has it so easy, because they might cover up what is truly going on in their life.
Everyone says the same thing. Look at Robin Williams - we thought he had it easy and he felt the biggest load of all. Not saying we or he is wrong, but perspective is a heck of a thing.
It depends on who you are talking about. If you are talking about things at work or at home. If its your family, perhaps speaking to them about your feelings can help. If you are talking about your co-workers, perhaps speaking to a supervisor could help to work or sort things out.
Unfortunately, that isn't possible. Even from birth, some are born in a higher standard than others. What we can do, though, is share the same positive attitude about what load we do carry. Our circumstances aren't what makes us: we are what makes our circumstances. Even if we are in a terrible situation, there is always a way to make the situation better. Your personality just has to reflect that.
If you feel that the load is way too much for you, speak to whoever it is that can share the load within you and others to lessen it.
In my personal experience, I used to hide how I was doing. I put on a big smile and did what I could do so no one would know it was a bad time. It wasn't easy at all. Perhaps some times this is what we see - people looking like things are easy, when in fact, they are quite tough as others don't let anyone in to see the pain and struggle they are carrying. It would help if we each shared some of each others loads, but it's tough when it's all we can do to help ourselves. Yet sometimes helping someone else also helps us to feel better.
Often enough we only share the highlights of our lifes, not wanting to bring our friends or loved ones down, So on the surface it seems that everyones life is a summer vacation. Second our lifes, no matter how smoothly they are now, are REALLY complicated, and need focus. Thus we become blind to the subtleties of existence of others. What they do not share we do not see.
We don't always know what's going on in other people's lives, they may be dealing with their own things you aren't aware of. And as important as your problems are, everything is relative, if the hardest thing in their life for them is not having spare money for football boots, that's still the hardest thing for them. Compared to huge problems, it's petty, but people are mostly self serving, some people will help you, but avoiding comparisons, and remembering those who don't help you, doesn't help you. Think about those that do, and what you can do.
The reason a path looks “easy” is because it hides its difficulties in plain sight. What people present to the outside world is usually an edited version of their reality. Often times, we compare things we want, and things we think we need, with others who already have it. Comparison is the death of joy! Ruminating about how someone else is better looking, has more friends, or is more successful than you is both time-consuming and ineffective. Being hard on ourselves actually zaps motivation and decreases goal completion. If you really want to live a life that feels fulfilling you need to dedicate your time and energy to your own values. To get your focus in the right place ask yourself the following questions: When you imagine yourself at the end of your life looking back at what you’ve done, what will be the experiences and accomplishments that will have been most important to you? What kind of person do you want to be? What kind of relationships do you want to have? What do you want people to remember about you? Use these personal values as the barometer upon which you compare, rather than the accomplishments of those around you.
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