How can I deal with being blamed for things that aren't my fault?

63 Answers
Last Updated: 09/05/2019 at 5:07pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
Israel
Moderated by

Daniela Golbert, M.A DRAMA THERAPY

Therapist

I am an expressive art therapist working from the strengths of the client, aiming to find and arouse flexibility, spontaneity and creativity in different levels of the soul.

Top Rated Answers
happyTree27
June 25th, 2017 5:47pm
Re-evaluate the situation and find out if you really ar enot to blame at all. Taking responsibility for your own actions, even if you did something not so bad, is important because it is how you grow up, become responsible, mature and then you can forgive others for blaming you without feeling bad.
eaglesmist
October 15th, 2017 2:47pm
Simply, you can allow it to pass over you. Realize that you are being blamed. Realize that yes, this was wrong. And then let it go. This does not mean try to forget, or try to take your mind off of it. Just allow yourself to be upset if that's how it makes you feel, allow yourself to cry, and allow yourself to feel proud of yourself that you realize that it's wrong and you'd never do something like that to anybody. And then, let it pass. And allow yourself to be at peace.
Anonymous
April 27th, 2017 3:49pm
It doesn't brings you anything when you blame that persons back. You just have to keep on giving your best. Sometimes, you'll be honored for what you're doing and just try to ignore it for the first time.
Anonymous
June 20th, 2017 4:36pm
Remember that is not your fault! The person who may be assigning the blame to you, may not be able to take responsibility for his or her actions. In addition, sometimes people lash out at others during challenging times or times of needs.
IceyEch0
July 8th, 2017 11:10pm
Get proof that you didnt do it and convince the person who blames you you didnt do it if they dont belive you show them the proof
ASilentObserver
August 13th, 2017 6:21am
Practice self-compassion. Understand that at times even if its not your fault, others will judge and blame you. So, be compassionate towards yourself. Not let others negative thoughts bother you. Take your time, do something good to yourself and develop compassion for yourself. You could read about self-compassion more here: https://www.7cups.com/forum/AppreciationGratitude_170/PsychologyofHappiness_1219/SelfCompassionNotesfromDiscussion_81612/
BookwormGabby
August 17th, 2017 11:00pm
Keep reminding yourself that it was not your fault. It's can be easy to begin to believe that something might be your fault if someone keeps blaming you. Try to understand why the other person might be blaming you for this. It's probably due to some other source of stress in their lives that could very well not actually be related to you. Displaced anger is something that happens a lot.
Anonymous
November 5th, 2017 3:30pm
Take a step back and calm yourself. Remind yourself that there is the possibility that the other person is having a bad day. If you believe that you didn't do anything wrong, or have done your best in the given situation. Explain to them your side. If things did not turn out for the better, stay away from the situation. You don't deserve to be treated unjustly.
Cpcoleman1WSU
March 1st, 2018 10:31am
Do your best to prove through your actions that those things aren't your fault. If you do the best you can with what you have, nobody can blame you
Apollosdaughter
March 31st, 2018 7:44am
Don't overreact or over panic. You know it is not your fault then don't worry have patience and be calm. Let the things happen but you maintain your will.
JTHicksMASociology
May 2nd, 2018 10:37am
It’s important to know your own truth and not rely on others to define your experiences for you. Regardless if someone blames you or not, what matters is that you don’t blame yourself.
Anonymous
June 21st, 2018 8:32am
Please dont waste your feeling by thinking of others blaming.dont worry if it is not your fault.just ignore people you makes to feel you uncomfortable.be happy your self
Anonymous
July 22nd, 2017 6:11pm
What matters most is how we feel about ourselves. If you know that you are not to blame, then what others feel towards you doesn't matter. The best thing to do, is to surround yourself with positive people who love you and care about you and free yourself from the negative ones.
Anonymous
November 15th, 2017 6:13pm
It will hurt you will feel bad but at the end of the day you know it's not your fault. If it really bothers you then you should do something that you enjoy doing and get it off your mind for a while.
kindHoney36
February 28th, 2018 10:16am
Although you can't always stay quiet and take the blame, it'll be a wise choice to do so and try to avoid an argument. But it's also important to talk it out calmly so you won't be labelled by others for what you're blamed for.
Anonymous
March 22nd, 2018 6:10am
I think having open communication, and telling the truth can help, you shouldnt take the blame for something you didnt do. I think explaining yourself while being kind and understanding can help. You cant change someones opinion of you, but you can defend yourself the best you can.
KurtCups711
July 25th, 2018 12:31pm
You may not be responsible for a given problem, but you can certainly be part of the solution. Try to focus your energy on working hard to fix a problem, strengthen a relationship or achieve your goals. Demonstrating to the people around you that you're more concerned with success than pointing fingers will build a culture where people are less likely to assign blame.
Anonymous
May 13th, 2018 2:49pm
Identifying that you may be experiencing unnecessary blame and/or guilt is the first step to taking the power away from the accuser. Afterwards, finding a safe and trusted individual that can validate your experience and feelings is one alternative. If you don't have access to someone like that, another is journaling or any sort of creative outlet in which you can name, identify and express your story. In finding validation for your experience, this enables your body to release the stored emotions (be it anger, disappointment, shame and/or guilt, betrayal, sadness), process the experience, and move past the blame.
indigoblue789
May 16th, 2018 6:06pm
Work for finding out area of influence that you have. Things that are out of your area of influence should not be bothering you very much and that you need to consciously teach yourself. Things that are in your direct area of influence, responsibility of those lie with you. Need to be taking responsibilities of those and learn how to accept mistakes and move on.
Anonymous
May 23rd, 2018 1:02am
Depends what you’re being blamed for? Try and sit down with the person who is blaming you and calmly explain that it’s not your fault
phosphenerelief
June 23rd, 2018 8:55pm
All you can really do is clarify and provide your information and your evidence, and understand that their disbelief doesn't diminish or devalue your truth.
LuckyBlue4
July 6th, 2018 2:34pm
Sometimes journaling these details and occurances will make you feel justified. Others may make you feel to blame now, but you have the record to look back on to see the truth later.
SarahF3
July 11th, 2018 8:13am
First, understanding that it´s not your fault, the first big mistake we the humans have, it´s taking the responsabillity for thing or situatuions that aren´t our faults.
niceRainbows39
August 1st, 2018 9:21pm
If you can't explain to somebody that it isn't your fault, than it isn't worth the fight. You know that it wasn't your fault, and that is all that matters.
gentleHoney34
August 2nd, 2018 8:50pm
You cannot control what other things say about you or how they view you. What you can control is how you respond to those things, and that makes all the difference in the world.
cheerfulMonkey67
August 3rd, 2018 7:54pm
There are many things in life that we can be blamed for that are not our fault. Unfortunately, that can be a part of life. The main thing, I think, is realizing that though you may be blamed it is not your fault. So long as you are doing the best that you can, that is what matters. If you can look back on the event and know you did the best you could than you should feel good about what you have done and ignore the negative incoming speech.
LiteViWanda
August 5th, 2018 1:06am
People may have a misunderstanding due to perception. You have to understand how they perceive the situation. Even though you may think something is not your fault, the other person may see your actions of take your words differently. So first start with understanding the problem, don't get offended and try to see where the other person is coming from to really get to the bottom of the misunderstanding.
Anonymous
August 5th, 2018 5:18am
Explain to the people that you did not do what they are accussing you and if they continue to say other wise just ignore them they are not worth getting worked up about. They are just trying to instigate.
jordkh
April 24th, 2019 2:18am
You have to remind yourself that the way other people act or react is often times out of your control. I know it can be incredibly frustrating but the more you hone in on the things you can control, the less out of control and helpless about the situation you'll feel. My worst experience being blamed for things that weren't my fault was while I was serving in the military and struggling with severe mental illness. I was often being blamed for personality failures when it was simply an untreated illness. This was very damaging to my self esteem and confidence. After years of therapy, it has been wonderful to see myself start to heal.
KayHelps
December 6th, 2018 10:40am
* Realize that instead of dealing with the pain, the other person tries to move it onto you so he/she can feel better. * Realize that words are just that: words. It is your own responsibility how you deal with them, you always have the choice. Break out of behaviour patterns to increase your options. * Ask the other person to reflect on his/her own actions. Ask naive questions and make them subtly realize it may be their own fault. Bad things happen, too. Why create more negative energy out of that? Don't fight the NOW. * Just acknowledge the fact that it may even be your fault. Realize that everyone makes mistakes and that we also grow from them. Try saying "yes, you are right, I made a mistake" and see what happens