How can I effectively deal with people who tend to be controlling and think no end of themselves without letting my anger get the better of me?
Last Updated: 05/07/2018 at 7:37am
Paola Giordani, Psychoanalyst
I have helped and am helping people cope with loss, divorce, anguish and parenting. Depression is also a major issue that comes up.
Top Rated Answers
put yourself in their shoes! you must have the own argument with yourself to try and fully understand their point of view! I find best to also use analogies where possible as sometimes they can be more relatable for people failing to look at someone else argument. hope this helps!
Take a step back and think ractionally. When feeling yourself becoming angry take several deep breaths and count to ten. Proceed with caution, speak clearly and in a normal tone, try not to raise your voice.
I think at the time I am really angry. So I really control myself to have some time to think it through. I know if they are controlling and I go in angry we are going to end up in a fight. They are not going to change and really I am wasting my breath. So I wait a couple of days till I can rationally think about the situation when I calm. Then I can approach them in a calm manner without dragging my anger into the situation. Sometimes this helps. But I have found controlling people never change. You either have to accept them as they are or choose not to have them in your life.
People control others because they are afraid of what the other person can do. Anger does not solve anything much it only makes the person control you feel entertained since he knows what he is doing is working.
Try to ease them into the situation. Being targeted directly might be the possibility of why they become so angry. If things get out of hand, wait for them to calm down and then talk things out with the person.
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