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I'm worried I look incompetent at work, what can I do?

111 Answers
Last Updated: 06/14/2022 at 4:33am
★ This question about Work Stress was starred by a moderator on 5/12/2016.
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I assist adults and couples in CA experiencing relationship challenges and interpersonal struggles including anxiety, depression, and a myriad of other life challenges.

Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
November 11th, 2020 11:49am
A lot of people have worries about work. It is one of the most stressful activities because it ties in to so many different areas of your life. If you do badly at work, you may get fired and then how would support yourself and your family. What about the Jones next door who already seems to be outcompeting you in everything they do. But back to the actual question, incompetence at work and what you can do about it. Most incompetent workers really have no desire to learn about their jobs or their roles. You can only look incompetent if you are incompetent. I know you could be having a bad day too like you are running late, misplace something important you need, thinking out loud about the ridiculous work load within your boss ear shot by mistake. But these are things you can do. 1. Read your job descriptions 2. Learn about your job 3. Shadow the most competent worker that everyone looks up to 4. Follow their examples 5. Show off your work in a non competitive way 6. But most of all, do your job 7. Of course, appearance do matter! Do not believe otherwise. If you are getting paid to do a job, then get dress for the part. And remember you do not have to be passionate about your job and show it. It may make you look incompetent. Just remember you are getting paid. I hope this helps.
listenerpaps
November 15th, 2020 10:37am
Firstly, I hear you. There are so many instances in which I myself have felt incompetent at work. It's difficult to motivate myself in those times and it's challenging to overcome. Here's a few tricks I've learnt along the way that have helped me value myself a little more: 1. Every time I feel incompetent I sit down and answer the following questions" -What is the task that I do not feel prepared to handle? -Have I done this in the past? Was I successful - why? Could it have gone better - how? -What skills do I possess that can help me complete this? -Who can I turn to if I need support with this? These help me get a realistic idea of what is making me feel incompetent. 2. I have written a few reminders on sticky notes" "Take a deep breath ... you've got this!" "It's not a road block, just a challenge" "You're ready to take this on" I've put these up on my desk to remind me I've got what it takes to do this 3. I check-in with myself regularly to see where I'm being most effective and where I need to improve. Try answering these questions: -what's working? -what's not working? -what's missing? -what's next? These can help you set goals and move forward through constant self-review! Hope this helps:)
8Lotuss
November 21st, 2020 9:59pm
I'm worried I look incompetent at work, what can I do? Well; what is meant by incompetent. You are not appropriate. Did you forget, they won’t hire; if they have seen some potential requirement or being qualified in you. I’m sure many applied and you have been chosen. You are competent. Your responsibility, your performance: From friends and relationships, to diet and sleep, to self care and hygiene. All of these external factors will affect your performance in work. Your attendance, your performance at the work it self. Do you reach on time. Your half way. Do you get tasks handed in and completed. Well, you may be a critic and say “ I make mistakes” Well people who work that are more likely to make some mistakes. That is a prove you are working or even making progress. Some reasons for being paranoid at work: Past experiences at jobs that didn’t go great. Unfortunate circumstance that might paint a negative picture in your mind. Making a mistake or some mistakes at work. Postponing your leave or vacation; might lead you bad thinking. A way to deal with that Making a list of external responsibilities, if those are fulfilled mostly. They won’t affect your work place any more. Making another list for you all completed tasks and were accepted. And looking at it from time to time. You get a sense of achievement.
DarkPiT23
November 27th, 2020 2:48pm
Notice the Thoughts You're Having. The first step in changing any behavior is to realize that it's happening. ... Ask Yourself: Is This a Fact? ... Ask Yourself: What if the Opposite Were True? ... Be Proactive. Check off as Much as You Can on Friday. ... Prepare for the Next Week. ... Give Yourself a Worry Period. ... Plan out Your Weekend. ... Take Time to Reflect & Relax. ... Practice Self-Care. ... Talk it Out. An incompetent employee is basically an employee who doesn't have the necessary job skills to do a job well. That may include a dysfunctional or toxic personality or bad social skills which manifests itself with bad relationships with the boss or manager and with coworkers thus endangering good morale
Anonymous
January 1st, 2021 8:13pm
I used to feel the same way (being worried that I seem incompetent to others). I started to get over this once I realized that everyone is absorbed in their own lives. Others don't usually care as much as you may think they do. In this situation - and I know it is easier said than done - I would try my best to improve and work on growing without worrying too much about how others see it. As long as you are doing your best and improving over time, hopefully, your worries will subside and all will be alright. I feel that my own self-image has improved by doing this over the years.
BritBry
January 15th, 2021 5:44pm
This has been something I constantly worried about when I worked in New York. The job I had was not the degree I had taken in school. I had learned how to do most of it on the job while others had more official qualifications. I worried perpetually that during a meeting I would do or say the wrong thing and would be found out. I started to realize that the reason I was in the position was that many people believed in me. They all knew my history and I didn't have to pretend I was something other. If I didn't know something, I could just admit it and commit to learning it. If I said something wrong, I learned to say to myself "so what?". Is it the crime of the century? Nope. This helped me put things in perspective.
LilSmokyCheddars
January 21st, 2021 2:34am
In my experience, people often turn out to be less critical than I imagine that they will be. If I arrive clean and on time and I give the project my attention, I find that people respond positively. Competence is something that will be shown through results, or "the proof is in the pudding." It has helped me to calm my concerns by trying to remember that other people at work or school have their own worries and insecurities, and that it is more likely that they are focused on their own problems than that they are concerning themselves with scrutinizing me.
Anonymous
March 18th, 2021 6:08am
WHY it is that you feel incompetent and why do you constantly run from one thing to the other. try to explore your strengths and try to reduce your weaknesses , do not compare yourself with others.. every person is different and different ability.. You might be a better performer in your forte. Sometimes it’s helpful to zero in on how we “feel.” The true nature of the mind is that it is constantly changing. One moment I’m reading yahoo news and getting depressed/cynical and the next moment I’m watching comedy central and laughing. This means because because I feel something in the moment does not make it a fact. The suffering comes in when we believe our feelings are one-dimensional concrete truths, but the vast majority of emotional suffering stems from our relationship to our inner experience;
Carlos1234
April 8th, 2021 3:23am
The best way to look competent at work is to show up dressed and well groomed. A well dressed and groomed individual looks professional and looks like they know what they are doing. Walking with confidence and speaking clear and concise can also show others that you know what you are talking about. Be sure to read up on your duties at work and ensure that you know your job inside and out. This will help with any uncertainties you may have. If you are unsure of something, be sure to speak up and ask, most people can tell if you are just pretending.
Izzy274
April 8th, 2021 10:30pm
It can be really hard to feel incompetent to work, and it's easy to feel like an impostor, where everyone else knows what they're doing except you. This probably isn't the case, but it's still very stressful if you do feel incompetent compared with other people. Here are a few things you could possibly try, although different things work for different people, so these may not be the best methods for you personally: - Think about the reasons why you feel incompetent, and see if you can solve (or get support to solve) any problems that arrive. - It's easy to get caught up in your own fears, so perhaps asking a peer or boss what you can do to improve would help. Work on doing your best, but not being perfect. - Focus on your self confidence, and being able to communicate your ideas to others in a clear way. Also working on the skills needed for your job if you do get any areas to improve on. - Learn from your peers, or take courses to improve if you feel that is necessary, but also take time for yourself and your mental health. - Try to positively affirm your competence over time, for example: 'I am competent', 'I deserve this career'. - Smile! This makes you appear more self confident, as well as allowing you to gradually feel a little better.
ShyTurtle27
April 27th, 2021 4:15pm
It sounds like you're not feeling confident about yourself. Or that you might be self conscious about how others perceive you. I think that the first step to feeling confident is to recognise your own strengths and weaknesses. Celebrate your strengths. Improve on your weaknesses. Personally, I realised I am a very unorganised person, my coworkers have directly told me so. Instead of feeling critised, I worked on being a more organised person. I also ask lots of questions on how I can improve on my skills. We should never stop trying to improve ourselves, and admiting that we aren't perfect is humbling, and shows your desire to learn.
wisebeyondyears89
June 23rd, 2021 9:27pm
You can only do your best. Make efforts to improve any skills you feel you may lack in and focus on your strengths. You're probably doing better than you think - workplaces can be busy and managers don't always have the time to congratulate you on every success. Perhaps asking where you can improve will be beneficial - that way you can work cohesively with your work instead of feeling like you're incompetent. Stay confident and remember that you can always improve. Make sure you're maintaining a generally high standard - you will always have areas that you do better in than others.
Hiraith
August 14th, 2021 3:25pm
To avoid looking clueless when you come to work, have all the activities you plan to do written out on a sheet of paper or on your phone. That way, when you finish one task you will know what to move onto next. If you genuinely don't understand how to do a certain job at your workplace, it is 100% okay to ask somebody for help. Asking for help doesn't make you seem foolish or incompetent, it shows that you are willing to improve your skills. It sounds like you are experiencing anxiety about the job because you want to do it well. When joining a new workplace or another workplace with a different atmosphere than your old one, that is common. The more you practice and the more times goes by, you will be an expert at knowing what to do. Never give up!
fluffycloud13
December 5th, 2021 3:16pm
Confidence is key here. The only set way to get people to believe that you know what you are doing is to act like you know what you are doing. When you appear to be unsure of yourself, others are forced to think just that. On the contrary, when you present and assert yourself in a way that shows self-confidence, people are more likely to trust that you know what you are doing. Start by feeling fully comfortable in your own skin, who you are as a person, and what you know as a person in your field of work. Once you gain that comfortability in yourself, you will be able to gain access to your confidence.
ingeniousPeace79
February 19th, 2022 2:50am
Comparing ourselves with others is a virus we all catch as children. Comparison and competition should only be done with your past selves. I am aware of how difficult it is to eradicate this virus. But, the solution is to calm yourself, to love yourself more, to let others believe what they please about you (there is nothing we can do about it, people are free to believe whatever they want), and to compete with your past self, with your yesterday self. Improve. That's all you can do. Watch yourself constantly to make sure you act according to your principles, to your liking, to your sense of goodness (your own definition of good).
coconutshavings
May 5th, 2022 11:29pm
Dress confident to feel good about yourself, and you will feel more confident in the work you do as well! Also, do not be afraid to ask questions. In my experience, people are more receptive to someone who is curious and wants to learn than someone who willfully does something wrong. Also, think about the reason you are worried. Is it because of a certain skill you do not feel strong in? If not, think of good ways to tackle it! Is it the way a certain coworker treats you? If so, try to have a conversation to determine why they are saying these things to you! If training or the work itself is stressful or overwhelming, try to find a resource at work to talk about these things and develop an action plan.
Anonymous
May 18th, 2022 7:42pm
you are not alone, alot of people feel this way when they start something new. It is important that you understand that you were selected because of your capabilities, keep an eye on your accomplishments, and know your are worthy of the place you are at. Most importantly be kind to yourself, and try to focus on the positives. If you need more help, try to talking to a superior or a manger, to understand the role more deeply, and to get some feedback. This could give you a direction in understanding which areas you need improvement on, and where you are thriving
plushMirage6297
June 11th, 2022 2:38am
I felt like I was completely incompetent at my job but oddly enough I ended up becoming one of the top brokers in the company so I learned that I was the only one who saw me as incompetent, I had created this false narrative in my head. In reality I was more than competent and exceeded my expectations massively. Just let your actions and your outcomes speak for your competency. Actions are what is true not feelings or emotions. It really didn’t matter what I looked like at work to myself or anyone else. How I was looked at had nothing to do with my ability to get the job done.
Anonymous
June 12th, 2022 9:06pm
Let me tell you a secret here... nearly everyone, if not everyone, feels the same way. And that's the beauty and the beast of the workplace. We all feel like we can do better and so we push ourselves to our limits or past it. It is a great motivator and benefits you especially if you're looking to get promoted but it can also be harmful to your body and spirit if you're not careful. Start with doing an objective assessment of yourself with one of your performance review forms. Solicit formal feedback from your supervisor and your peers. Then work to improve your areas of opportunity and solidify your strengths. The advantage of this is it allows you to work on tangible action steps to improve yourself and feel more competent. Some perception can be mixed in there, so make sure to clarify anything that's vague or unclear and look to get concrete examples.
Dallady
June 13th, 2022 11:59pm
I’m going for an interview tomorrow so have been thinking about this very thing lately! What to wear, say, etc.. and wondering if I’ll fit in or end up looking like a total dunce. I found myself questioning myself and rushing around, reacting instead of responding. I remembered the love letter I had written for myself that morning and all the good things I wrote about myself and that helped calm me down. I also remembered the good quotes and goals and plans I have on my Pinterest account. Recalling things I have to look forward to also helped calm me down. Taking time to slow my roll when I’m spinning out seems to be helpful to me, and in my research in the last 20 years, vital to widening the gap between stimulus and response so that when we are having a thought or feeling that isn’t helpful we gain control back using skills and tools instead letting it get out of hand. Writing it down (I’m worried I’ll look incompetent) and finding the opposite could also be helpful. Putting yourself in someone else’s shoes who may be feeling the same way and how you’d respond to them could also help as it shows you how kindly you deserve to be treated. It’s a crazy world right now. Seems like every man (and woman, and person) has become an island unto themselves. Hurricane covid left devastation in it’s wake - but the resiliency, bravery and resourcefulness of life has risen to the challenge as well. Choosing what we want to focus on takes an effort - just like working out at the gym, or getting to church every week - taking care of our mind, body and spirit, however we want is our responsibility - one can learn to cultivate and grow into a beautiful and unique garden all our own.
Jaeteuk
June 14th, 2022 4:33am
In most cases, one may look incompetent at work when, depending on the type of job, we stand around trying to look busy. At other times, if one person works on a team of very hard-working people and it seems that they are the only person behind in the work, it will look like they are incompetent. Whichever is your case, you only need to worry about your own work. If you don't understand something, always ask, either a colleague or someone more senior than you for advice and guidance. If you are unsure of how something works, ask the person who has the most experience with it for help. At most times, it is all in our own heads. If we really wasn't competent in our work, we would've had some sort of warning from our Supervisor/Manager already. When no one had actually complained about your work ethics, efficiency, and productivity; then you are most likely just overthinking it. Whatever work it is that you are doing, just make sure you give it your very best. Work above and beyond what is expected of you, and don't worry about what others think of you. If you were given a warning, then you'll have to put some effort into changing the ways you work.