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Why do I have such a hard time asking for help?

20 Answers
Last Updated: 08/25/2020 at 4:50pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
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Meredith Seltzer, LPC

Licensed Professional Counselor

The therapeutic relationship can assist you in accomplishing your goals and clarifying your wants and needs. As a skilled counselor and therapist I will help you along the way

Top Rated Answers
April 21st, 2015 3:52pm
I know that I have a hard time asking for help as I feel as if I should be strong enough to handle things on my own. I don't want to be seen as a failure and I don't want to burden someone else with my feelings.
June 1st, 2015 9:34pm
Maybe early in your life, let´s say when you were growing up, you learnt that being as invisible as possible is a good way not to burden others. You thought your needs were a burden because that´s how it came accross. Maybe your parents were stressed or didn´t know how to handle your needs, so they just unconciously pressured you to push them aside to be a "good and behaved child". However, not asking for help and cause us to feel overwhelmed, lonely, anxious and depressed. We need to take the risk of being rejected and probably getting a "no". You´ll get also a "yes" or a listening ear or a helping hand. But without ever asking, how would you find out?
February 22nd, 2015 1:43pm
Fear of rejection, assuming that asking someone for help would be a bother, or you feel weak and vulnerable when you ask for help.
May 8th, 2017 3:04pm
Sometimes asking for help can make us feel weak or even stupid. Most cases as well, people want to do things on our own and show that we are mature enough to handle a situation, or we are simply afraid to ask for help. Asking for help no matter what situation is NOT a bad thing and you should never feel afraid to ask for some. You are NOT weak, stupid nor "adult enough" if you ask for help. Even adults ask for help and it's not a bad thing. You should never be afraid to ask for help because there's nothing bad with it either.
May 22nd, 2017 5:44am
Some people find it difficult to talk about strong emotions because they can't articulate themselves or don't feel like they can trust anyone. Just do whatever you feel comfortable with - this website is a good place to start.
February 22nd, 2015 9:29pm
It depends on the certain person some just feel scared of being judge and others feel that is bad to ask for help but trust me you wont be judge nor isnt bad or weak to ask for help.
May 10th, 2015 10:26am
Asking for help can sometimes be difficult because of the stigma that may be attached to it. You may think that people will judge you but if you really need the help then just try to disregard it and think of help as just maintenance, we all need it sometimes.
June 23rd, 2015 8:18pm
Sometimes society portrays asking for help as a sign of weakness. This is especially true for men, who are expected to act strong. But this is not the case. Asking for help is not shameful, on the contrary it can be seen as a form of bravery.
August 25th, 2015 8:35pm
Sometimes we're afraid to ask for help because we think people are going to judge us or for fear of rejection.
November 10th, 2015 7:31pm
Everybody has difficulty asking for help. We all think we should be bigger and stronger than our problems. The truth is, we aren't, and you've made an impressive step to reach out to us today.
November 15th, 2015 10:30am
Often we feel like the only way to learn something is by figuring it out for ourselves so we would rather struggle than ask for help. We may feel weak for asking for help.
November 16th, 2015 10:37am
Asking for help can be hard for all of us. Sometimes it is hard to admit we need help, other times it is just hard to go out and seek help, because this takes a lot of strength.
November 26th, 2015 6:00pm
I have a hard time asking for help for several reasons, among them are feeling that I "should" be able to handle things myself and if not, I am failing, and not feeling able to trust anyone, being afraid that a request for help will be used against me somehow. This is what I am trying to overcome currently.
January 4th, 2016 2:51pm
because it means being vulnerable, and it means that you are no longer in control, and a lot of the eating disorder is the control.
January 26th, 2016 1:08pm
Maybe because you feel embarrassed about your problem or ashamed that you are not able to handle it on your own ? But there is no need to feel embarrassed, the strongest people are those who recognize when they need help and go get it. It's not easy to open up about what you are going through , also because that might cause a flood of emotions and you subconsciously or consciously are not prepared to deal with that. Does knowing that you have to resolve the issue some time help? Is it any comfort knowing that talking about the problem in itself is proven to help substantially?
March 15th, 2016 7:17pm
sometimes its letting someone help let you guard down get the help you feel so much better at the end
June 6th, 2016 9:15pm
It's hard to put ourselves in situations that make us feel vulnerable in general. When you have to ask someone for help, you're telling this person that you don't know how to do something or that you don't understand something. This lack of knowledge can make you feel vulnerable to this person.
August 23rd, 2016 12:05am
I don't expose my time of weakness very lightly. So I try very hard to figure things out on my own before I ask for help.
November 7th, 2016 12:25pm
Having hard time asking for help can mean one of two things, either being shy/not very social or having a bit of pride that prevents one's self from showing weakness or need in front of others. Once one of those two is defined and understood and thought through thoroughly then it only becomes a matter of deciding not to keep that a blocking wall from asking for help.
August 25th, 2020 4:50pm
Pride can be a big obstacle in asking for help. When we ask for help, we are admitting to ourselves that we need assistance which can be a difficult thing to do. Additionally, if we feel isolated or alone in the difficulty we are having we might not feel comfortable asking someone to help with it. Whether it is embarrassment, shyness or simply believing there is no one who can understand or relate, we are stopped from seeking help. We also might not have someone in our lives that we feel we can ask for help from. Having social support can be an immense help in overcoming difficulties.