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Asexuality Myths

by @neverendingDancer10

Hey there fabulous LGBTQ+ family!! heart

 

For the Asexuality Awareness Week, I’d like to debunk some of the myths towards this particular spectrum.

 

Asexuals - Aromantics do not exist. Really, guys?! Besides heterosexuals, all other people are unicorns, uh? It would be amazing, for sure, but asexuals exist. One of my best friends is asexual and she is pretty real for me…

Asexuality and celibacy coincide. Asexuality describes someone’s sexual orientation: they do not experience sexual attraction to anyone.  Celibacy describes someone’s behavior: they do not have sex with anyone, because they decide to.

Asexuality is a choice. Sexuality is a part of the person; you can choose your orientation as much as you can choose the colour of your eyes.

Asexual people can’t fall in loveMany asexuals can feel the full range of romantic emotions, from a slight crush to true love.  It’s just devoid of a sexual component.  Asexuals are not limited to platonic love, either.  When an ace feels love, it can be every bit as complex and deep as the romantic love that anyone else feels.

Asexual people don’t/can’t have s*xMost asexual people can have s*x, and some of them do.  Asexuality is the lack of sexual attraction, not a lack of sexual ability. And all people are different from one another and they are in different situations/relationships when they want to have sexual intercourses.

Asexuals can’t/don’t experience pleasure. As I said in the previous point, there is nothing “to fix” in asexual people and they can experience it as much as any other person in the world.

It’s just a hormone problemMost asexuals have hormones within normal ranges.  Asexuals who have started taking hormone supplements, for some reason, have reported no change in their orientation.

You can’t know for sure unless you’ve had s*x. You don’t have to have s*x to know what your sexual orientation is. People know that they’re straight or gay or bi or any other orientation, and they don’t have to “try” to know which one is their orientation.  Asexual people are the same way, of course.  They know that they don’t feel that spark of sexual attraction for people – same is for romantic orientation: you don’t have to “find the right person” with whom have “the right relationship” to understand that you are Aromantic.

Asexuals/Aromantics just haven’t met the right person yet. Nope. It doesn’t work like this for Asexuals/Aromantics – not for Homosexuals, nor for any other sexual/romantic orientation.

Asexual people are just afraid of s*x or are disgusted by itSome asexuals are afraid of or are disgusted by s*x.  Some non-asexual people are, too.  Such feelings are not tied to one’s sexual orientation.  There are also many asexuals who have had sexual intercourses, or are open to the idea of having them in the right situation. 

Asexual people are victims of some sexual trauma in their pastThe vast majority of asexual people have never had any kind of sexual trauma.  Most asexuals will be highly offended by someone trying to pin their lack of sexual attraction on some sort of unspoken, possibly repressed event.  And if they are victims of some past trauma, they’re generally not going to appreciate it when you bring it up and try to use it to invalidate their identity.

Asexuals are all super-religious and against s*x. Asexuality has nothing to do with one’s religious beliefs.  Asexuality is not a form of abstinence, it’s not the result of a purity pledge, and it’s not that they’re “saving themselves”. Of course, Aces can be religious and not wanting to have any sexual intercourse with anyone for religious believes, but it could be the same for non-ace people.

Asexuals hate their genderAsexuality has nothing to do with gender identity.  There are male asexuals and female asexuals and transgender asexuals and cisgender asexuals and agender asexuals and genderqueer asexuals and neutrois asexuals and all sorts of other gender asexuals.  Some of them dislike their gender, some of them are happy with it, and some of them don’t care.  And none of them are the gender they are because they’re asexual and none of them are asexual because of the gender they are.

 

Asexuals and Aromantics are valid and real and deserve to be respected and loved just for who they are, as much as any other people in the LGBTQ+ community.

 

Here (click) you can find a scheme about Asexual Spectrum, divided by sexual and romantic orientation.

Here (click) there’s a nice illustrated story "Asexual. Not broken" about a Asexual genderqueer person and their journey to understand and accept their identity.

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