I need sleep and a therapist 😵‍💫✨

She/They

Age Regressor (small age: 3-5) (big age: 14)

I don’t type as a typical age regressor, I might just disappear

My favorite stuffed animal is Monkë, my orangutan stuffy

I struggle with SH, panic attacks, low self confidence, depressive episodes, anger management issues and derealization.

Some feelings

are like old familiar friends.

Depression's like that for me.

When I'm not in it, I don't remember it.

I remember it's bad.

I remember the darkness,

but it's… different to feel it again.

It's the difference between

remembering what a room looks like

and actually walking through the door.

Being inside it again.

Feeling it.

When the episode starts,

it can be slow at first.

An intrusive thought,

"I don't wanna be here,"

but then it's gone.

You bat it away like a fly or a bad smell.

When it hits you fully though,

when you're really in it, it's everything.

It's who you are, you're nothing else.

On the outside, you look the same,

smiling and pretending is so much work,

but inside, it's a different story.

You start to hate yourself.

You're so alone, so unbelievably alone. 

And you can be with someone you love, but you're not really with them.

We think we know what's going on with other people, but we don't.

You never really know what's going on inside someone else's head.

Everyone's fighting a battle

you can't see.

We all have blind spots.