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This was a few years ago. I met an amazingly wonderful person around 10 years younger than me. I'm 35. At the time, I was struggling with being a black woman whose also into women because I knew the history of my people and that anyone with any slight defect was killed off in the past to keep the bloodline clean, clear, and preserved.
I began struggling with who I was when I found out that information. It's not that I was confused, I just didn't understand why I was allowed to be alive when in the past I would have been put to death.
During this time, I wasn't being sexually involved or dating anyone. I met this amazing girl/woman. I know now that she was 100% into me and wanted something more than friends, but out of respect, she never told me at all. When I realized I was actually into her, I told her, like maybe, 6-7 months later into our friendship. I'm not like her and most people; the type of person to just meet people and *** and blah blah blah, it takes time for me to get to know someone. She said she was not interested and that she wanted to get to know a person first and become friends and develop slowly and that a relationship was the furthest thing from what she wanted. I respected that and wanted to continue being friends, hoping we could get to know each other more and become something. It was tough for me to handle because it takes a lot for me to share my feelings.
Like within 2 weeks of time, she got into a relationship with someone else. I was broken. I did the best I could to still be that best friend and really struggled to hang around her and this person. They moved very quickly with their relationship; moved in together to "save money" within a month, she paid for everything mind you, we were overseas and in a poor country, so she paid for everything because we can go there and make way more than any local in that country. So, my thoughts are that she was fully manipulated into this relationship.
Over time, our friendship dwindled. I felt like she was being taken advantage of and didn't like the *** personality of the person she was with, but I wasn't going to say anything because I was turned down, I respected my friend, and she was an adult, it is what it is, right? They had been together for like 6 months by now. One day, my best friend came to have drinks with me and some other friends. When the others left, she said that she thought she chose the wrong person to be in a relationship with, but that she was going to be an adult about it and stay in it. At that point, I had been so tortured, you don't even understand. Having been the "best friend", and watching her go through so many people on ***, all these dating apps, even *** the weed delivery guy, etc, etc, then this relationship with this *** person, I just was broken and a hurt little "heart on my sleeve" in the corner. You could almost say I had no confidence that she could ever be into me, so when she said she thought that she chose the wrong person to be with, I definitely did not think she was talking about me being the right person. She would have had to be open about her feelings if she wanted to pursue anything. Me making any further move was not going to happen after all of that. After thinking back about all of it, she wanted me to say something and sweep her off her feet but I did not, because I felt like there was no way she could be into me, even knowing and seeing all the signs she gave me. If you tell me NO, that means NO, that's how I thought about it.
That was the end of our friendship for me. I told her I couldn't watch them be together anymore and that this friendship won't work. She said she had been focusing more on her relationship anyway and that she didn't have much time for friends.
Long *** story shortened, I saw her twice after that in the following year. The first time we had brief conversation when hanging with friends, I pretty much ignored her, she just kept glancing over at me. 6 months after that, my Father died and I had no choice but to leave that country, I wanted to give her all of my *** so it didn't go to waste. When my Father died, I was really *** up and a local friend of mine tried to comfort me and I was obviously weak and we ended up in a relationship that I knew should have never happened. When I invited my former "best friend" and her now fiance over to pick up all of the goods; when she saw that I was in a relationship, she broke into a million pieces. I could see it on her face. She was devastated. And I was so surprised, to be honest. The next day on the plane ride back to America, I cried the whole way missing her, not my girlfriend.
My girlfriend wasn't experienced in life enough and it didn't work out. When that relationship ended, suddenly all of these feelings rushed over me for the former best friend. Like, I knew I was into her, but I didn't know I was into her that much to suddenly feel a fever of love for someone I hadn't even seen in 8 months at that time, who is probably now married. I tried to ignore the feelings but they just got worse and worse and I couldn't properly function outside of work. Even while working, it was like a virus of "love for best friend" just smothering me mentally, physically, and emotionally. So, I felt like I needed to tell her what I was going through. I did and she told me that she was happy with her current relationship, but that if I was more vocal about my feelings before, things would be very different right now.
That was Spring 2022, I still feel the same right now. Much much worse actually. After finding out that she was completely into me, I have just been stuck wondering why everything went the way it did. Why didn't she tell me how she felt, why didn't I respect her feelings less, and tell her how I felt more? Why why why. I am not sitting here wanting to feel like this, it just started happening and I don't know how to stop it. I haven't been able to work for 2 months now because I can't get the thoughts or depression or sadness out of my mind.
I'm the type of person to work 12-15 hours a day and that is it. I haven't really slept with anyone since 2017 because I don't really count my relationship and her lack of experience. I don't do anything but work, and then my whole family died within 3 years of each other, forced back into this *** country because of it, there's a lot going on. I don't know how to remove the thoughts of her and just get back to life.
If you read all of this then I commend you for being a caring person.
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So 13 years ago I fell head over heels in love with a girl from college. She was ‘straight’ and in a relationship with a man and I was in a relationship with a girl.
We both felt the same way for each other and had sex and spent all the time with each other. One night we were in bed she told me she loved me and I replied and told her I loved her too. The next day I texted her and asked to meet up so we could speak about what we were going to do seen as we had told each other we loved each other. I got no response, the day after I text her again and she replied the most hurtful message you could imagine she said ‘sorry am driving to work and I’ve got my boyfriends *** in my hair’
safe to say I was devastated, confused and so hurt. From that point on she ghosted me.
it took me so long to get over her and for 13 years I thought about her at least once a month and have never really been able to not think about her.
2 years ago I messaged her out of the blue and she responded and we literally picked up where we left off. We both cheated again on our partners, fell in love and this time she actually left her boyfriend to be with me and we have been in a relationship for 2 years.
The problem is I just can’t seem to forgive her for breaking my heart 13 years ago and it is eating me up. I get paranoid she is going to do it again to me. We are now engaged and very happy together but I just can’t seem to get over the hurt she caused me and move on.
Any advice? Thanks 😊
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Im a married man, 33 years old. Have a awesome wife that supports me all the time, a newborn son, successful business and career, awesome family.
But this moment, I am stuck, I fell in love with one of my staff, a man. Sometimes I ask myself why, maybe I am desperate of his protection and maybe sex excitement. I can't help myself.
I don't understand why I am so stupid, I am I a high position, why do I want to torture myself. I cant destroy my reputation, I could not let others know that I am Bisexual. This is a secret that no one else should have known. But I am torturing myself. I can't stop thinking about him.
Please advice!
Last post
1 day ago
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Hello there, happy new year and welcome to the LGBTQ+ subcommunity! My name is kate, i am a 16 year old cis girl (she/her) and i am the community mentor leader of this subcommunity. I am so happy to have you here!
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What are your preferred pronouns?
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What are your 2023 resolutions, if you have any?
Are you interested in icebreakers and games? Then join us here [https://www.7cups.com/forum/LGBTQMOGIISupport_58/IcebreakersandFun_220/]!
Or maybe you like reading discussions? You can join us here [https://www.7cups.com/forum/LGBTQMOGIISupport_58/DiscussionsandResources_2305/], then!
Wanna be one of the first to know about our discussions and games? You can join the subcommunity taglist here [https://www.7cups.com/forum/LGBTQMOGIISupportCommunity_58/IntroduceyourselftotheLGTBQMOGIICommunity_1360/BrandNewLGBTQSCTaglist_219193/]!
Tagging our newest subscribers!
@kivee @Lukas54CZ @BetheyBoop @fraa80 @sockeater374 @HyperactiveMind0 @Angelwolf8930 @youareworth3 @victoriousWillow3355 @Cherylisme @NixThePixyStick44 @Badgirl15 @TraumaFighter92 @rubbbyy20205 @spicydaal
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Hi,
I'm Caustiek, but my real name is Ashlynn. I am an 18 year old transgender man that has been trying to get my gender transition process started, and based off what I read, the cheapest way to start that is with Estrogen shots/pills. (Prescribed by a pediatrician, of course. [God I hate how suspicious that sounds.]) If anyone has any information on the cheapest way to do so, please let me know, I hate being stuck in this... shell.
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Hey all, So I'm a cis woman and now know and have accepted that I'm sexually attracted to other women. I also have been known to have romantic feelings for men, but not sexual ones. Recently, I met a guy who I have strong romantic feelings for. We explored kissing one night and I did not enjoy it, nor did I have any sexual interest in his body. But, I often find myself wanting to cuddle with him or touch hands. I feel emotionally close to him and have thoughts of wanting to be with him all the time, as we really enjoy eachother's company. So far, he is not open to having a non-traditional type of relationship. Maybe that's my answer, but my question is how to navigate this and having this type of orientation in relationships. I hope that my romantic and sexual feelings will align with one person, but maybe I need to explore other options. I have been in a relationship with a woman and while that didn't work out, it did feel right to be with a woman. Anyway, I could use help!
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I am omniromantic and nonbinary and has been raised in a strictly christian (my dad's a preacher) household. I was one of those kids who was borderline homophobic because I already knew i was different from a younger age and was scared. Now that I'm older, i've become SLIGHTLY more comfortable but not enough to drown my internalized transphobia/homophobia
My parents both are very homophobic/transphobic/and aphobic. My dad makes cruel jokes and says slurs almost EVERY day and my mom jokes along w/ him. I before was very confrontational so I stood up to them and called them out... but because of that they started mistreating me. they found out about my identity from going through messages with someone whom was a safe place for me.. they both yelled at me, made fun of me, laughed in my face while i was sobbing, restricted me from anyone and everyone who wasn't religion-related, and lectured me over and over.
I was told I'd go to ***, that non-het relationships are purely lustful, that it was "just a phase everyone goes through but never is right"
my dad even went three days without having a conversation with me unless it was to tell me to get something for him. my mom never wanted anything to do with me because i was "nasty". my dad told mr that if i was going to disrespect his god then i could get out of his house..
this was about a year ago, and since i've been pretending to be the perfect cishet christian girl they want me to be, but it's become so hard to pretend lately... I'm getting older and wanting my freedom of expression that i know i won't get until i move out. I get so jealous watching people in accepting families or being able to be themselves with little judgement. its becoming so tiring. i literally daydream about a persona based on me in a happy, healthy accepting enviormrnt.
they know how much they hurt me. so so so many times have they found messages of me talking about all of this
and yet they don't care. it hurts SO MUCH to finally bring myself to comprehend that i, someone they made, will never be loved by them like they love my siblings.
my dad called the times when i stuck up for myself my "crazy spiral". he compared it to when he was in a cult. saying i would have gone down a "darker road" if i wasnt stopped
i'm now just trying to get through school, saving money so i can finally get out of here one day
but it still really hurts. i can just barely cope with it by listening to music that's practically people going through the same thing venting
i just want to be loved, yk? it's all i've ever wanted
*the sub-community is currently undergoing restruction*
Hello everyone and welcome to the LGBTQ+ subcommunity! We are a welcoming and inclusive community where questions can be asked and answered, where support and information are easily obtainable and exchangeable, and where topics can be talked about openly and respectively!
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