Moderated by
Lauren Abasheva, LMHC
Licensed Professional Counselor
A sex positive, and kink knowledgeable therapist with an open mindset and a clear understanding that we are all different.
Top Rated Answers
From my experiences, Ive found that if it feels right in your heart, and you cant see yourself having done it any different with a better outcome, then you've done the right thing.
Simple, be aware of how you feel. If you feel happy, content, pleased then it is the indication for you that you did the right thing.
Anonymous
August 2nd, 2016 7:13am
When you are happy and feel contented, you did the right thing. Don't doubt yourself about what you can do.
I always say listen to your gut. The fact that you tried to do the right things is admirable in itself, always do what feels right for you.
You can't. Only time will tell if it was the right thing to do or not. Be patient and have faith. Good luck!
Anonymous
May 17th, 2018 8:50pm
Stuff can be hard to tell if you did the right thing. Let’s say you were worried about a friend that you think self harms, and you told the school counselor. You did the best thing for them. They might not see it like that yet, but you just have to give it time. You stopped the issue before it got out of hand, before something worst could of happened. You helped them get their life back on track, you are their life savor.
If you felt it was right in your heart and you followed your instincts when doing it. It may be right for you but not for someone else, but that's how life goes sometimes.
You know you did the right thing if you struggled to do it. Like really struggled. I have always been told that the right thing to do is the hardest thing to do... it is so easy to do the wrong thing.
When you do the right thing you will fell a peace of mind a nd comforts and you know that is the right for you
We don't ever know if we did the right thing until it is done. We can't dwell on the past, but we can try to correct our mistake by either try to solve the issue in another way or accept what it is and try to move on.
You could ask friends or family that you trust what they would do in that situation and if they feel you did the right thing.
Visualise different outcomes and evaluate each and every one of them and weight the pros and cons. It can give you closure if you do so and then you will feel confident about what you did. Also, before you act, do the same pros and cons list so you can kind of predict what will happen following the event. You also know if you did the right thing if you talk about it with someone, like friends, family, siblings or listeners on 7 cups. Closure is a miracle cure for anxiety about performing a certain act and that is why it is crucial to know if we did the right thing
Anonymous
May 7th, 2018 10:32pm
You don’t feel any guilt or symptoms of regret, you don’t overthink the decision and it feels natural to do a certain thing , that can be a sign of doing the right thing.
Anonymous
July 11th, 2019 8:53pm
A good way to tell if you did the right thing is by looking at the consequences, either positive or negative, of your action. If others are doing better and you feel like you have had a positive impact, then that’s a pretty good way to tell that you did the right thing. If not, a way to tell whether or not your action had negative consequences would be to look at those around you and how it impacted you. Overall, you decide whether or not what you did was good for you, but you will still need to look at how your actions impact others.
It depends, is it something worthy that won't be making you problems after or make you anxious, is it something that will do more damage than good? Sometimes we have to give up on something to embrace something better. That scenario doesn't happen ways but sometimes a sacrifice is needed. We just need to think about it, writing it down could help so that we can remind ourselves in the future.
As long as it makes you feel good, makes you a better person then it shouldn't be devastating at least.
In your heart to you believe you gave it your best shot at that time with the information available to you? If so then you did. Looking back we can judge ourselves and say "Oh i should have done this or not done that" but knowing you did your best at the time is all that matters. If you feel that you didn't do your best, forgive yourself! Mistakes teach us to be better.
You know you have done the right thing when your heart is at peace and is content. And you feel proud of the decision you made. And you know that no matter how many times you go back and are in that situation you'd still make that same decision. That is when you know you have did the right thing or made the right decision. It's as simple as that, yet it's not so easy to get there or make a choice that makes you feel that way. But when you do make that choice or you do the "right thing" know that it's the most beautiful albeit sometimes difficult and painful you could have done.
Anonymous
January 18th, 2019 12:51pm
You can never know instantly. If it felt right for you in that moment, it was probably the best option you had, but you can only say it for sure after some time has passed and you can see the consequences of your actions. However, I think there is no such thing as the "wrong" thing to do if your intentions are good. Rethinking and lining out all the "what if I had..." can easily cause stress, anxiety and insecurity, so try to stand by your decisions, even though it's very hard sometimes!
Also, there is no definition for the "right" and "wrong" thing to do, there will always be people who are affected in some way, and there is nothing that is good for everyone.
Anonymous
January 3rd, 2019 4:32am
You don’t, really, and the only thing you can do about it is to accept it. Life can be confusing and sometimes we make mistakes. That’s okay! You may never know if you did the right thing, or you might realize the answer one day out of the blue. Whatever result had happened, it’s important to remember that we’ve already done it, and to learn from it.
Overthinking can be the cause to many problems and the best thing to do sometimes is to just say ‘to hell with it’ and try your best to being your best self.
Do we ever really know if we did the right thing?
Your gut and your heart are good barometers. If they align and agree, you probably made the right choice.
But what I know for a fact is that the only wrong choice is not choice at all. It’s far better to have lived and loved and lost than to have never have lived and loved at all.
So, see doubt as a learning opportunity; a chance to adventure into questions that might further elucidate matters. Sleeping on it is always a good idea, if you’re not sure which choice to make. Also, quiet your mind, sit with yourself quietly, and ask yourself, What is the best course of action?
Oftentimes, when the mind is quiet, the doubt dissipates and this, the answer is free to rise.
That is a tricky question. The thing is, you won't know until you see the outcome.. as humans, we have 20/20 hindsight.. we learn from our mistakes, so you will know what to do through trial and error.
There is no right or wrong or even easy way to tell the difference everyone’s opinions or ideas will be different sometimes similar but not always the exact same if I forgot to brush my teeth just once in my life do I think I am wrong? No. Other people might and that’s okay. I say you know if you’ve done the right thing if you feel it in your mind in your spirit in your heart when you do it not 48 hours later when guilt or doubt sets in but in the act if you were sure in that moment it must’ve been right for you.
Ask your self how it made you feel. How do you think it made others feel? Were your actions or words kind, were they necessary, were they true? If it was at least two of the above, then it was probably right. If you feel that you have somehow hurt yourself or another by your actions, that is not always a bad thing. It just so happens that sometimes pain or a little uncomfortableness are needed to make a difference and move on. Being rude is never needed, you can express your beliefs politely, try not to lie and I believe that you have done the right thing.
Anonymous
October 17th, 2018 1:53pm
It's not always easy. We often overthink and question our decisions. The truth is there is not one perfect way that works for everyone all the time. And there is no one besides you that can tell if you did the right thing. You can feel it and just know. Sometimes it just takes time to see if what you did was right. And that's okay. Be patient. Also don't be too harsh on yourself. You are doing what you feel is right in a certain situation. We are always learning. So, don't be afraid of making mistakes sometimes, that's how we learn :)
You don't have to worry so much always if you did the right thing. We're on earth to learn, so making small mistakes is okay. As long as your intention and heart is pure, there's really no such thing as a mistake (it comes when you "miss taking" a lesson -- true mistakes).
Another thing that may help you is to know the distinction between guilt and a pinch. When you've really done something wrong, you'll feel it in your body. It will make you wretch almost, you'll feel so bad. And that type of pinch is always about the result of an action, whereas guilt is this nagging thing, like being in this nether zone where you can never relax. I would say feel your pinches deeply, but drop your guilt totally. You are made of love.
When you're lying in bed at night with nothing to distract you does it feel right or wrong? That's your answer.
I ask myself this question a lot. The answer that I always tell myself is that I did what i believed was right and what I believed was best for me at the time. We can't go back and change our choices, but we can trust ourselves that we knew what we needed right then
Generally if you feel better about yourself in the long run. To explain in more depth though if what you did was beneficial for everyone involved including yourself without including physical or mental harm to anyone than it’s generally considered the best course of action. If not that and it’s an incredibly complex issue it would be the choice which leads to the least amount of harm to anyone both physically and mentally.
Right and wrong are just our own opinions and perceptions. If what you did is right it will instantly give you some sort of peace or satisfaction but if you overthink it and ask others repeatedly then the same thing can make you anxious and feel wrong so just trust your decision.
Anonymous
July 25th, 2018 2:28am
That's a difficult answer to get sometimes, because the right thing may not always be the "right thing" for everyone involved. Getting out of toxic relationships is always the right thing to do, but the person you're getting away from might say you're in the wrong. Standing up for yourself is the right thing. Looking at the reactions of others sometimes makes things confusing and you have to wonder if you really did do the right thing. The best way to know is this: are you a better person because of your actions? Did you save yourself some trouble, are you happier because of it? Do you feel relieved in a sense now that you've done it? Consider that...
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