He said I was perfect for him, but he chose someone else?

This is one of the most difficult things to have to hear. Someone tells you one thing that gives you so much hope and then turns around and does the opposite and takes it away. Unfortunately this is a common occurrence. Oftentimes people will say things that sound good in the moment or will say things to diffuse tensions and avoid any sort of conflicts. The important lesson that can be learned from this is that people often will speak louder with their actions than their words. Remember always that your value is not determined by this person and that the idea of a perfect person is impossible to meet because it is so subjective.

Sometimes it is the right person, but the wrong time. Sometimes they are just not ready to be in a committed relationship with somebody that they know will last a long time. Either way, they decided that they were not ready for whatever reason. I know some people don't want to be with the person they feel is perfect for them because they are afraid of not being good enough for them. Not having enough money, relationship experience, life experience, a steady job, emotion control skills etc. Maybe they think they have some growing to do and don't want to risk completely ruining their chances at a serious relationship with you or maybe they have commitment issues.

It can be so hard when someone says something like that and then their actions don't match up with their words... leaving us with a lot of thoughts and then feelings to boot. I just know that there's not anything you can do to change his mind and although it hurts, feeling your feelings and going through the grieving process is key, at some point you'll come to acceptance, but keep in mind that there is no time line on these kind of things. Some days you might feel great, other days it might feel completely fresh and raw. But the beautiful thing in all of this is that you get to choose too in how you get through all of this. I just know, you've got this and will get through it, even if it doesn't feel like it right now.

I am sorry to hear that. It must be difficult to grasp that concept first of all, and I can't imagine how you may feel right now. It seems like whomever he chose was based on reasons in his mind he feels could be right for him, and sometimes it can even be an act on impulse. We are all so individually unique in what we do and why we choose to do things, sometimes they don't make sense. But what I can tell you now, is that you can't bring yourself down because you know your worth. And even knowing your worth can still make this challenging, heart-breaking and it's quite awful. You need to hang in there, keep your head up and think of the beautiful qualities you bring to the table. Do not compare what this other person might have. There is no one like you, you are so special, and there are so many people out there in the world that would be lucky to have you in their life and will be a better fit.

That means it is all just a lie. A relationship is beautiful because we make it like we can do anything for our partner. That we talk so nice, being romantic, and even do anything for the partner. You should know that it is a necessary thing in relationship. And you should know that he is not worthy your time. Show him that you can get better man than him. And that you are not on the same level as him and his new partner. That you are never lie about what you said in the relationship and that finally you can get someone who is way better than the guy

Sometimes people change, not always for the best. I am sorry you had to go through this i do not know what i would have done. But Hey keep your heads up, he doesn't know what he is missing out on. You seem like a wonderful person, and if he failed to realize then it's a loss for him. There are 7 billion people on this planet don't lose hope over one. I know it is easy to say "just forget about him he is not worth it.". But you should consider moving on, doing what is best for you.

Feelings change throughout a relationship but it's important to recognize that you don't need his acceptance to feel good about yourself. If he decided to move on, let him because there's probably something better out there for you. Don't close the doors on yourself because there's someone out there that is "perfect" for you. Move on and focus on yourself, this was probably an opportunity for both of you to realize you needed to be with different people. Love is beautiful and it's better to find the right person rather than settle down for the wrong person. Give it time and the answers you need will come with time.

I see how you might feel betrayed and this must really hurt you and make you feel distressed and sad. In times like these, it is important to focus on how this makes you feel and express it. Voicing your feelings and understanding that it is okay to feel sad or frustrated about this, it is natural. I believe this is crucial, accepting negative feelings as something normal and not pushing them away, has healing powers. And know that reaching out to people about how you feel is also very important, and not a 'weakness'. Being vulnerable is a strength so admirable!

You were falling in love with this guy, on for him to choose someone else over you. Perhaps he had recently been out of a breakup and he left you to get back with his ex and you realized that your relationship was just a rebound after all. No matter how hard it is, remind yourself that this is not a reflection of you, but rather his character. You were confident that things were moving forward and you were ready to commit to a serious relationship with this person. However, it is now clear that your feelings were unrequited and he didn’t feel the same way as you did. It is easy to start wondering about whether you were good enough for him or whether you will ever be good enough for someone

Oftentimes, when a guy dumps you unexpectedly, it's because something has been on his mind for a while and he didn't have the courage (or didn't know how) to bring it up. So even if he ended it and left and is with someone else, it doesn't mean there wasn't something specifically bothering him about the relationship or it's your fault it's just it wasnt meant to be and God has better plans for you and him. Just don't lose hope and be patient there is someone for every person in this world just trust yourself and be positive :)

Unfortunately, people's emotions can change, whether we like it for not. At the time he might've believed you were the one, but maybe not so much anymore. And, it's nobody's fault if their emotions change or not. You're not to blame, and neither is anyone else. All we can do as humans is accept it and move on. Even though this can take time, it's the right and healthy thing to do for yourself and others. It might take a while to accept the change, but once you do it'll be very, very freeing.

It sounds like you are going through a really tough time dealing with abandonment and betrayal. It is normal to feel your feelings, your feelings and thoughts are valid! The most important thing is to do what is best for yourself, if someone is toxic, it is best to let them go and move on. Letting them collect rent in your heart and mind just let’s them keep controlling you. Healthy relationships come from healthy emotions and trust. Once trust is broken a relationship can be hard to salvage. Please don’t hesitate to reach out to listeners and licensed therapists on 7cups! We are here for you and can provide resources to help you on your journey to finding independence and healing!

Sometimes people's words and actions are not aligned. People might say certain things and then not follow up on them, or they might demonstrate different intentions through their actions. This isn't always easy to understand. Witnessing this kind of contradiction can feel hurtful or like it came out of left field. If a person said you were perfect for them, but then chose to be with someone else, it might be that they didn't know what they wanted, weren't being sincere, or truly thought they knew what they wanted and then changed their mind. These actions can have unfortunate consequences for the people they affect. As the person affected by this decision, there are many ways in which you might choose to move forward. You might decide to stop expending energy on this person so that you can focus mostly on healing the hurt from this interaction, you might choose to engage yourself with self-care and hobbies to build a healthy relationship with yourself, or if you feel ready, you might open yourself to new relationship opportunities that feel safer and more compassionate, keeping an eye out for potential partners who seem to be really aware of their impact on others. However you choose to move forward, know that this experience, though difficult, was one of learning and growth. Be well, and remember that you are enough. You have worth by nature of your being.

Actions speak louder than words. As cliche as it may be, it's often proven to be true. It's not about how many times someone tells you they like you, or if they say that you are perfect for them. It's in the actions. Did he show you that he felt strongly about you? Did he really wish for you to be happy? Did he do his best to make you happy? Because, when it boils down to it, people can say the sweetest things. But you mustn't let yourself be fooled by their words, if their actions do not support what they say. But, in addition to this, maybe he did feel strongly about you; maybe he felt that you really were perfect for him. However, people change sometimes. Maybe there was a time when he felt that you were perfect for him, but then his feelings changed. I am sorry that he chose someone else, and I'm sorry that you are going through a rough time. I wish you the very best - know that you can get through this, as difficult as it may be

I understand that you feel betrayed and hurt, because he said something in the past and now he is with someone else. I can say that people aren't the same, they always change in their opinions. Hence, the person who said that you were perfect for him is no longer the same person who he was, rather he has changed. Hence, it would really help you to remember this so that you don't hold onto what he said in the past, but rather accept who is now and learn to live with the choices that he has made. Take it one day at a time and you will be able to leave the past in the past.

We as humans often fail to understand eachother's time and value. You deserve someone better! As we get to know people overtime we might realise they aren't what we pictured in our head! You have a long life ahead of you and this experience has taught you so much about yourself and people. It's a lesson worth learning and you have been so brave! I would be heartbroken too if I were you but giving yourself time to heal will do wonders. You giving yourself to love people is admirable and something you should be cherished about. This too shall pass!

Sometimes people don't know what they are looking for, and when they say something like that is has a lot of meaning. It makes perfect sense to feel hurt, it hit me hard when my four year relationship broke. It was something where we both thought we knew what we wanted in the beginning, but over time we learned more about ourselves. It may take time to move past, but it is worth it to be able to become the person you want to be. Finding that special person comes later on, be happy with yourself that way even if something like this happens again you are secure in yourself first.

Whatever happened with this person is not your fault. It reflects this person's issues, and has nothing to do with you. Take this time to be kind to yourself and take extra good care of yourself. Nurture the relationship you have with yourself. And when you feel down and criticize yourself, I want you to stop and try to do this: think about if a close friend called you and told you this exact scenario happened to them? What would you tell them? Most likely you would be supportive and remind your friend about how wonderful they are that they deserve so much better. You should be able to say the same things to yourself. Work on being that friend for YOURSELF... because you deserve that kind support too.

It is because dating is just a fun thing for many of people. Many people who date have no intent to get into long term relationship but just to have some fun in their lives. Dating applications promote this kind of behaviour even further as if you stop browsing these sites because you started a relationship with someone, apps nag you that there are people for you and that you must browse them. They go even further - into making you feel guilty if you don't browse the dating apps. People behave the same way in real life too. And so, it can happen that someone says that you are perfect for them, but then they choose someone else.

You never know what's in the heart of someone. People make promises in the moment and forget about it after sometimes but you cannot depend on someone's words. You need to see their actions too because actions speak louder than words and if he has chosen someone else then he was never sincere and actually he doesn't deserve you. Try to move on from someone who was never sincere with you and try to focus on yourself. Your dignity is more important than him and his choice.

He probably used pretty words: you deserve better. Let his actions speak for themselves. Maybe you really are a good match; maybe he is a good match with multiple people (you might be too). Whatever the compatibility is, he either (1) didn't know what he was talking about compatibility-wise; (2) was trying to make you feel better; or (3) other external circumstances got in the way. You probably deserved a harder honesty from that person. Respect yourself enough to believe you really do deserve better for yourself. Center yourself; heal; do things you like; whatever you need to focus on yourself for awhile--find what you can learn from time spent with that person, and move forward strongly. You got this