How can I open up to people more even if it scares me?
277 Answers
Last Updated: 06/10/2022 at 3:18pm
Moderated by
Jill Kapil, PsyD
Psychologist
I have over 9 years of clinical experience, specialize in anxiety, and am passionate about my work. My approach is collaborative, empathic, supportive, and goal-oriented.
Top Rated Answers
This can be dealt with the same way you would deal with any other phobia. You work up to it. You have to slowly push yourself to do it. more often than not you will find that you have scared yourself over something small, something that you have no reason to fear.
push yourself to do it one time, just ones. There is no harm in just one time right?
If you do it just one time you may find that you are able to do it, that you have nothing to fear. when you realize this you can really push yourself, make yourself do it more and more often.
Just stay calm and be yourself. Being yourself can really help you open up to people. And if they don't like anything about the true you, they don't matter. the people that you keep in your life should accept you and understand you fully. It can be really hard to find people like that, but being yourself and opening up can really help with that. And I know very well that it can be hard to open up, but if you try not to worry about what others will think of you and just being yourself and letting go will really help.
Anonymous
February 7th, 2019 11:01pm
Opening up to somebody, even multiple people can be challenging. Opening up to people scares you, why is that? Opening yourself up to judgment shows you are strong within. We as people need to be open in order to let go of more or one burdens that are constantly on our shoulders. Opening up may be scary but keeping quiet limits people’s awarenes of how you are feeling. Talking to a listener on 7 cups may continue you in your journey on opening up.
Writing this shows you have started already. Take some chances, even if it scares you.
Opening up to people especially when your scared is a super hard task to do, but you know yourself better than me, better than anyone else in this world only you can know how you can become more open.
Just from my personal experience i tried just having a short conversation with someone who i trust and seeing where it leads.
you don’t have to jump right into anything at all you can maybe talk about your favourite colour and why you like it or the weather on the day and see where the conversation leads you both.
but you know yourself better than me
You don't have to if you are scared. However, if you would like to build your support system and personal connections, I would recommend you to have some small talks with people around you first. Before you open up, make sure you know this person is trustworthy. Some people simply don't know how to handle problems, and if you open up to those people, you will end up being hurt. If you believe this person is trustworthy, you can start with some not personal topic, such as their views on mental disorder. Such as "I have a friend that... (put your situation here)" and see what they think. At least that's what I usually do.
Fake it till you make it. For me, opening up to people involved hacking my own mind. To to this I read some books and watched some videos on "how to win friends and influence people" this way I had an easier time understanding what people wanted in friendships and relationships and therefore was not as awkward and uncomfortable. Some skills I learned were:
-people want to talk about themselves. I encourage them speaking about themselves by complimenting them on something uncommon like glasses or shoes and asking where they got them , ect. Their school or work is a good subject too.
-People don't usually want to hear about you (at first, its just how it is) spend more time listening and less time talking unless they ask.
I think the old adage, "take one step at a time" applies here. Think of it as taking baby steps. Testing the water by dabbing your toes into it first, then a foot, then wading, etc.
Opening up when you are intoverted is extremely terrifying. Commit to the following:
For one week, make a point to make eye contact with and smile at five people each day.
The next week, make it ten people each day.
The third week, do the same to five people and add saying "hello".
The fourth week, make it ten people each day.
I think by now you see where I am going with this. These are baby steps but probably are huge for you. If you would like someone to be there for you to talk to along this exercise, there are many extremely qualified listeners and therapists here at 7 cups. You are not alone. You may also feel free to contact me, if you so desire.
Good luck and may God bless.
Jing2010
Start small. Open up with a conversation about favorite shows, favorite food and music. The more you talk with a person, the less scared you will feel about opening up. You can ask other people about their favorite childhood memory and that helps making you feel less scared. It takes time to feel more comfortable around people but also the better you know a person, the easier it is to open up.
The fear about opening up comes from the fear of being ridiculed and misunderstood. If you know the person you are opening up to you will feel less scared because you know you will not be ridiculed. If the person ridicules you for what food or music you like, she or he will ridicule you for bigger things. Remember, you are not alone, everyone is fearing rejection and being ridiculed. You are never alone! You can always talk with a therapist or a listener and you can always get over a fear.
see, first of all, why are you scared to open up.
that is because you have doubts about yourself, and you feel insecure about that.
How does one fix this problem?
you simply need to once again focus on your inner Well Being.
you need to find the source of happiness and love within you and project it outwards, you will feel very comfortable and happy with yourself once that happens.
and when the time comes to open up to people, and even if they reject you, that won't be an issue for you, because you already feel very pleasant and happy with yourself, and that is all that will matter.
people come and go, we shouldn't have any expectations about them. We just have to fix our own inner self
Opening up to people is a very difficult thing to do, especially when you have anxiety or social anxiety. It is something that you should only do in case you really want to do. I believe that you need to find yourself a coping mechanism to deal with how hard it is for you to open up. Make sure it's a healthy coping mechanism and try not to worry too much about how it could go. Try not to care too much about what other people will think about you. Only open up to those who you actually trust.
Anonymous
November 16th, 2018 9:01am
Try talking to yourself that every person is exactly like you, with some insecurities (different insecurities from yours, but they do have), some issues in past and anxious about the future. However, every person reacts to such feelings differently. No harm in opening up with people who have been through experiences like ours. When I think that the other person is also like me and is not better than me in anything. I tend to open myself and be more comfortable with them. Another thing is to take yourself and your life lightly. Nothing to be very serious and cautious about. Everybody has seen some ups and downs in life, so no harm in even sharing our downs with other people.
Few things paralyze us more than fear. No one has remained untouched by her, not even the most courageous warriors in history. The difference between normal people and those who seem fearless is that the latter have learned to control fear, use it to their advantage, turn it into power. My fear feeds on the energy I give it. If it grows very high, it probably will happen. When we do not know what is going to happen, we imagine the future, positive or negative. When the scenario is negative and we think something bad is going to happen, we have fear.
Anonymous
November 2nd, 2018 3:31am
knowing that in the long run, it will help you by opening up, because it's never healthy to keep things bottled up inside. It's normal to be scared, but once you open up and see how accepting people can be, it can be a path on getting the help you need, no matter how big or small the problem is. Accepting the fact that you're scared, but just closing your eyes and figuratively jumping into opening up can be healthy, and facing fears is the best way to conquer them. Take a deep breath and know that opening up will only benefit you.
Practice more in front of a mirror or a camera.
It is not silly as it sounds. If you can't open to people then its because you may not have the enough experience of how to get your fears of opening up aside and talk.
practicing in front of a mirror will help you to arrange your words and the way you say them.
Videoing yourself talking is not only a practice, but also an evaluation for yourself as you will get to see yourself talking and see your facial expressions more clearly. Then you can see whether to do a specific way of talk or not.
Know that people are here for you, and that people are patient and caring. I deal with this myself, and am working on expanding my social circle. I aim to reach out to others because I really want to be able to lean on others for support. I don't want to fight this fight alone. Understand that there are others who want to be there for you. Once you know what you want, nothing can stop you! Just keep trying, if you fail or freeze up, it's completely normal. Have faith and know that one day, you will be able to open up to people.
Practice every day and take small steps to increase the difficulty. That way you take smaller challenges at a time and it will come to you naturally
Start small. You don't have to tell people your life story all at once. Tell them little facts about your life. Once you do it more often, it'll get easier!
opening up to people can be super hard sometimes, just try to be honest and share what you're comfortable sharing with the people around you that you trust the most. stay safe
You can open up to more people by joining events, activities and others. Try other cultures and learn from them.
Start off small, Ask someone if you can borrow a pencil or something and try starting a conversation with them. Try to talk to people who seem lonely because they are probably just as scared as you are. It will be hard opening up to people at first but you will get used to it after a while. Don’t be afraid to go a little out of your comfort zone.
Anonymous
June 9th, 2018 12:26am
By saying how you feel, without thinking about it. I understand it can be hard to talk to someone if you're scared, but it's better to be scared than to sit and think that you're alone.
Anonymous
May 31st, 2018 2:19pm
Try to start with small scale first. Like talking to your friends about hobbies and stuffs, then try bigger scale, like to your neighbors and people at the supermarket. After some time, you'll get used to it. Trust me ;)
This may seem stupid but do it. Life is terrifying and plenty of things are going to scare you, if you trust the person to open up to them and if you feel that its important than just take a deep breath, and tell them. Once its out it's easy, a weight will have been lifted off your chest.
Push yourself. Push beyond the butterflies, the nerves, the fear, just everything. And don't be to hard on yourself. Be patient with yourself too. Don't think pushing yourself is forcing yourself.
Anonymous
June 10th, 2022 3:18pm
Opening up to people can be crazy hard sometimes. The trust level for this depends on how much you care about the person. There are so many factors to this, as well as if they can keep secrets, it's okay to be scared.
Just remember that some people feel comfortable sharing and others don't. You don't have to open up to anyone if you don't want to. There is a certain amount of trust people have, and others breaking your trust can also be in consideration.
Trusting people can be tough, we all feel that way sometimes.
Take care and good luck.
I suppose it's good to start small - tell someone a tiny thing about you that makes you feel uncomfortable, then you have achieved the first step *high fives* next try saying something else/something more and keep going. I believe that you can do this buddy â¤
Start by talking to someone you are close with. You just have to take the first step, and then things will start falling into place. Once you get comfortable opening up to that person, try someone you are not as close with. Continue this process!
Its very scary opening up to people for multiple reasons. But it always feels good after if you tell the right people who care and/or love you. Be sure to start with the people you're closest to, either if that's a parent, significant other, friend or anyone. If they play a big part in your life, they deserve to know and they should want to help you with whatever your going through. You can start by just a regular conversation, it can be worrying but talking to the person about something else first eases everything. This is what i do, i always say "I need to tell you something". It will be hard to spit it out but that means they know something is up, and you have no way of backing out. Then you say it, you can tell the person to wait to say anything until you're done explaining. Also, haha, do it in a comfortable environment, not someplace tense, like a grocery store. Always remember, everyone needs to open up about something some time in their life, so you are not alone!
Be confident and make sure you take a step at a time don’t rush! Write out what your going to say before hand on notes so it gets you prepared but most of all be brave and you’ll be fine.
Anonymous
June 23rd, 2018 8:18am
I suggest you need sometime..You don't have to open up at one go..Take some time and breathe relax and don't stress out..Eventually you'll open up
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