I've just come to terms with being transgender. How do I come out to my girlfriend of many years?

Honestly is always the best policy. It might seem harsh but if she doesn't accept you for who you are, then she isn't worth any more of your time. Simply sit down and tell her, remember to be completely honest, as long as you trust her.

Be honest with her; tell her the whole story. Be clear on what you want from this point on, and be patient in having this conversation with her. This might be overwhelming for her (maybe for you too), but just listen to each other, understand that this might need time, and be truthful.

Firstly, congratulations! Coming to terms with your true gender is an incredibly hard thing to do, and the hardest step is accepting it in yourself. Coming out is almost always difficult. You know your girlfriend better than any of us do, but I would recommend honestly above all else. Perhaps you can begin, not by flat out stating that you are transgender, but just by mentioning that you have been having certain feelings lately, and try to ease her into the idea rather than telling her all at once. Be prepared for a variety of reaction and questions. She will probably ask you a lot and you need to be prepared to give honest answers.

Hi, I understand this is a very hard topic. Even though this may be difficult. I believe this will lead you to being happy and as your best self. Start small, slowly present the idea to her. Then, if it's to hard to say out loud, write her a letter or even on a sticky note. After you do give her a while to proceed it. You've been thinking about this for years and she just found out. Then if she really does love you, I think she'll accept you for who you are.

Ask her if she knows anyone who is transgender/supportive. If she really loves you, she'd understand.

When I came out to my girlfriend after finding out I was non-binary, I broke the news to her in a subtle but honest way. Avoid sugar coating, avoid stalling. Give her plain fact, so that there's no room for misinterpretation. If she understands you and trusts you enough, she won't hold it against you or judge you for it, but be sure to give her some time to process the news.

You can choose a moment when you're both feeling good and you are unlikely to get distracted or interrupted. Then, you can tell her how and why you started questioning, what you felt, what you still feel now. You can try to explain her what it means to be like you, what you need to be happy. Make sure she knows you'll be there to answer any question and help her understand. It's surely not gonna be easy, but nobody knows how it will go, you mustn't lose hope!

Don’t beat around the bush. You should tell your girlfriend straight. If your girlfriend really likes you she wouldn’t judge you by it but some people are different and want different things so don’t be annoyed if she rejects you. It is important you tell her though. She needs to know this. Good luck ❤️😊

When I came out as pansexual, I actually used a pun/joke to come out and be more comfortable with myself and my parents about the whole idea. Using a joke also majorly helped alleviate some of the tension of the whole thing. Do something that makes you feel the most comfortable with the situation, and doesn’t put extra stress on your girlfriend. It can be a really rough time if your chosen family feels overly pressured to understand right away, and it might take time for her to come to terms with it, just as it did for you. That can also be very worrisome to sit through, as we typically expect our loved ones to be supportive of us immediately. Make sure you know you will be completely safe before you come out. ❤️ Good luck! I support you with my whole heart!

You know you, you are you. If this is who you are, there’s no changing it. If your girlfriend loves you for you, she won’t care if you’re transgender or not. Tell her in a calm manner, express your concern. If she ultimately doesn’t understand and/or won’t accept it, she doesn’t deserve you. You deserve to be loved and cherished for who you are. There’s nothing different between cisgenders and transgenders, we’re one in the same. The only difference is how open minded we are. Your girlfriend will love you no matter what, and I know it. Because she wouldn’t be with you for years if she didn’t love you.

Do it at your own time, don't feel pressured to come out if you aren't ready. Also be aware of her feelings, try to understand if she reacts negatively as this is a big deal to her as well as you.

Be honest and true to yourself, expect the unexpected, and stand firm with your decision. Explain your feelings for her, what this changes and what doesn't change, be patient and answer all her questions. Be open and truthful.

It'd probably be good to see if you can learn her stance on the trans community with questions about what she thinks about some recent trans-centric news. (Like that school that made trans students wear green wristbands for identification) Then if you ask her hypothetical questions about how she would feel if her partner was trans and it all seems well, it should be relatively safe to out yourself to her.

To be straight, you should just be open about the situation don't hide anything go slow but be very honest.

Honestly, you have to come out to her. This is who you are. she can't stop you from being yourself. I'm sure she can come to terms with it.

i would first randomly ask how she would've reacted when you guys met if you were the opposite sex and observe the reaction

First off, I want to commend you on coming to terms with being transgender. Realizing you're trans can be extremely hard to figure out and then accept for yourself. I know it was for me. Now coming out is a personal journey. Make sure to do it when you are ready to. The truth can set you free, so being honest with her is your best bet. Make it clear how you feel and what that means, aka wanting to change your name, pronouns, hormones, and/or surgery. When a loved one comes out it can be very confusing, make sure to be clear on your feelings and your wants. Be true to yourself and don't allow anyone to push you back into the closet.

I was in the same position. Be honest with yourself 1st and then be honest with her about how you have feeling. Coming tonrerms about how you are ia not an easy ride for you and certainly not for her as she may feel betrayed. Talking is the beatvpolicy but be ready for questions that you may not yet have answers for. Try and re assure her that its not her thats made you feel this way kts tje way you have felt and feel that she is the only person you can trust to tell. Give her time to digest what you have said. Good luck.

Sit her down and talk to her, if she really loves you she’ll stand by you

Coming to terms with being transgender is rarely easy and coming out can be super hard. To start, try and figure out what you girlfriend understands about being transgender. Has she never heard of it before? Does she know everything about? The less she knows, the more you will have to try to educate so that she understands what you are saying to her. When I came out to my parents they didn't understand anything about nonbinary, but I didn't think about that and it went badly just because they didn't understand and I wasn't prepared to help them understand. Explaining to your girlfriend that this doesn't change who you are you are still the person they fell in love with and that you still love them, you have just grown into yourself fully is a good thing to mention. Address her fears, her first thoughts are going to be negative, even if she is the most supporting person on the planet. In her head, this is a big change, and while you've had time to come to terms, shes having to understand everything right in front of you. Give her time to think, pauses in conversations are okay! Answer her questions, and if she isn't asking them, let her know that you are there to answer them!

Be honest with her and give her time to understand. You took time to understand your self , give the same privilege to her as well. Think of the love and understanding for all those years that will all come in play. So be honest give her the information she needs to understand. Nothing comes easy but if you are willing to work for it then you can do anything. I am proud of the fact that you are finally able to be who you truly are. Be you and be awesome. You can and you will do this. :)

You need to tell her that you'll always love her. Just because you have figured out who you really are doesn't mean that you don't wish to be with her anymore. Having someone to come out to, someone that you can trust, is an absolute blessing. If she truly loves you and sees a future with you she will see a future with whichever version of you that you need to be to be happy. The fear is your biggest issue right now, fear of change and fear of letting people know. Sit her down and be open and honest with her. Peoples reactions can actually surprise you. She may say she knew it all along but didn't want to push, pry or poke you into realizing how unhappy you were.

I am in a position, where I'm having to come out to my boyfriend as nonbinary. The first piece of advice I want to give you, is be open to listening to her side of things, as you're not only here to come out and happily be free to live as your authentic self, but to educate and to answer any questions. It may be hard when your partner can be invalidating, and emotions seep out, but being neutral and calm (both you and her - she needs to be calm too) helps to keep the conversation smooth. It can help to ask if she knows any transgender people and bring it up in general conversation. If she does, this may help as then you can see how she feels about them. If she seems positive, then you can ask about how she would feel if someone she really cares about realised they were transgender. It may also help to see what her thoughts on sexuality are. It would help smoothen things if she's attracted to you regardless of gender, but at the same time, she's grown to love your body. As it's your body, and hormones shouldn't change the same flesh you are made of. However there can be issues if she isn't attracted to women (or men, whether you're AFAB or AMAB). It's important to be with someone you are sexually compatible with, as sexuality isn't a choice. If transitioning means this part would struggle. You need to figure out if you're able to change how things are during intimate times, or if it's not going to work. It can help to express your emotions and give some backstory on how you realised you were transgender. To describe how it makes you feel, to be given the chance to transition, and what benefit is would have on your life. As a partner, your happiness is their happiness and vice versa. If talking about this in a positive light helps them to support and care about what changes you're making, that would be worthwhile. Good luck out there, and I hope your relationship lasts a lifetime x

I personally am a Trangender listener on here. It is never easy to come out to anyone! This I know from coming out to my partner. But just try to explain to them calmly and as best as you can! Best of luck! Feel free message anytime! This sounds like a very stressful situation. But just take it day by day. The worst she can say is "I don't like that." And even then some are just stuck in their ways and/or beliefs. It can't be helped. Best of luck dear. Like I said if you need me, by all means pm me!

Just tell her have a good talk and tell her that you are still you and say you can’t lie anymore because im a transgender male/female and you’re you 💜 and that you still love her and hope fully she loves you back and (and please remember that you are not alone ok because there is a lot of people going through the same thing ok) and so if she really loves you she should support you how ever you feel or look and some people will try judge you but there is still people love you out there

Start with low-key making conversation about the topic, learn their beliefs, their view points, how they feel about it. Throw son hints. If they are the type to be against it or uncomfortable with who you truly are, maybe they aren't the best thing to be in your life. If they truly loved you for you, they should accept and love you unconditionally no matter who you are. I can't tell you do this or do that. This is simply my thoughts and feelings of this. Maybe after a few conversations of the topic of transgender and you feel they are accepting of it, go ahead, tell them who you are.

Have an open conversation with her. It's part of your identity, it's not something that you can avoid. If she loves you, and if she respects you, she'll understand. It's much better to talk to her than to hide a part of yourself.

If they're initially taken aback, don't take this too personally because a loved one transitioning is a big change in one's life. Just know that in a relationship, your role is to support your partner, so if they care for you it shouldn't change the way that they see you.

Well, first it's great that you're coming to terms with yourself. Don't rush this process, it's often easier talking to people about this if you understand how you feel about this yourself. Once you're more confident with that, explaining being transgender to anyone will be slightly easier. However, it can be incredibly difficult as we worry about the other person's reaction. But i would suggest going about it simply, try not to over complicate it. Possibly mention the topic or don't mention it at all and just talk about how you feel and express yourself but softly and slowly explain how you feel. If you've been together a while then hopefully you feel comfortable in her company. However, don't be surprised if she doesn't know what to say or seems different. People take these things at their own pace. But always try to educate them if they don't fully understand

Just talk to her about it. Tell her how you feel and support each other. Good luck and take care! :)