Why do people including me have low self esteem? Is it because of some terrible experiences?
5 Answers
Last Updated: 12/06/2021 at 6:53pm
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Alex DS Ellis, MA, LMFT
Marriage & Family Therapist
Feeling depressed or anxious can be so overwhelming. I want to help you feel better and be able to enjoy life. You are not alone and you deserve emotional support.
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Low self esteem can be the result of many different reasons. The home environment, people that one meets, failures that exceed successes and a personal view of life.
Not always! If there are terrible experiences then it will definitely contribute, but it's not always the cause.
Often low self-esteem stems from what's called 'core beliefs'. These are basically beliefs that we have about ourself. These were often just a floating thought but now in our mind, they are facts. This might start out as an innocent comment from a relative, a tease from a friend or even a magazine article that suggests you're not good enough.
It can be due to many different reasons, but your upbringing is quite a big part of it. If your experiences and opinions are invalidated, you grow to doubt your own judgement and then doubt yourself, contributing to poor self-esteem.
I have low self esteem, beat myself up needlessly, from time to time, but I don't believe it's due to one terrible experience, but rather a lifetime of itty bitty occurrences and my own self-doubt clouding how I percieved others percieving me. I tended to always think when someone looked at me, or was laughing near me, they were laughing at me or mocking me, but in reality, people are typically very egocentric and unobservant, and when they were staring in my direction, they were probably daydreaming about cats in sweaters made from their cat hair, or laughing at the image of a cat wearing a sweater made from their cat hair.
I don’t think it is always because of a terrible experience but in daily life we do come across negativity or sometimes hardships. This can make our days more difficult and also play a part in bringing us down. This makes us feel low and affects our self esteem, but you are not alone in this. I bet most people at one time or another feel like it’s hard to cope or get through the day, that’s why we need to know there is someone out there who probably feels the same and wants to chat. Talking about things helps build us back up and builds our self esteem know we pushed through it to succeed, even if you haven’t fully succeeded, trying is a start. As long as we continue trying, we are moving forward.
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