He said I was perfect for him, but he chose someone else?
171 Answers
Last Updated: 04/16/2022 at 5:48pm
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Lisa Groesz, PhD
Psychologist
With evidenced based therapies, we find the root of the problem together to implement solutions. We all face crises, transitions, or disorders at some time.
Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
February 12th, 2017 9:44am
Just because he chose someone else does not mean you are not perfect, if he let you go that is his fault, and he will be missing out.
he chose someone else because he found someone better than you. let's be frank that people may leave because of they are not happy with us anymore. they leave because they found the happiness in someone else that they did not see in us. but we have to be strong. we have to think that they don't deserve us. God has a purpose why the person is leaving. God has a better plan for us why he allows the person to come in to our lives and just leave. so we may learn, and understand that in this world has no permanent. everything has to change. everything will change. we just have to pray to the Lord our God that He will give us the right one.
Sometimes people don't say what they are truly thinking, or they change their minds. It doesn't mean anything is wrong with you.
Sounds like basically any guy who isn’t actually ready to hold an actual relationship, he likes the thought of having you around but not actually wanting to be together he’s in it for the sexual thrill
Then that literally means he wasn't perfect for you. That literally means you are worth more and deserve better.
I'm really sorry about that. People do things for different reasons which we may not know. But this does not mean that you are worthless in any way, or that you are not good enough. Respect his decisions, and dont let it weigh you down. Try your best to move on, and spend time doing things that make you happy. all the best!
Sometimes people are indecisive about what they want. Sometimes they aren't truthful in their feelings. I've gone through this situation and realized that if they leave in that manner then they weren't meant to stay and you should let them leave.
Heartbreaks are the worst but we can not control how others react to situations. Just remember that even the most beautiful and "perfect" women have been heartbroken at some point and this does not mean there is anything wrong with you. It also does not mean the right person will not come along. So, gather up your self-esteem and think about how he missed out on a great person!
Yes. And he will do the same for the next person. He is clearly the type of guy who is willing to tell you anything to get you to go along with what he wants. I know how you must feel, heartbroken, disappointed, and let down. This experience will only make you stronger. Now you know that a person may say it but not show it. Remember that actions speak MUCH louder than words, and always a look for the action to support the words. Keep this in mind for yourself as well. Do not tell someone that they are your center of everything, at least not until you are absolutely 110% sure of your feelings for this person.
Perfection is overestimated. People are scared of perfection. Perfection implies accountability and not everyone is ready to be fully responsible for someone else's happiness. It's quite sad, but also human. "You are perfect for me, but this is the wrong time", "you are perfect for me, but I'm not ready"... be perfect for yourself, be your first choice and be someone else's FIRST choice, even if you're not perfect.
Sometimes you have to not value or take to heart what others tell you. If you take to heart what spouses or anyone for that matter says to you, you will spend the majority of your life sad miserable etc. it’s trully his lost and if he doesn’t see it that way then that’s his problem not yours. He’s someone else problem now
I got through that, too. The thing is boys are always indecisive and easily influenceable. Don't rely to much on their words, they rarely mean them. Look out for their actions rather than words.
It sounds like he wasn't being completely truthful. No one can be perfect for another person, no matter how hard they try, but that is normal and healthy. Many boys will try to sweet talk you by saying you are "perfect" for them. This could be true, but it also mightn't be. Either way, you shouldn't let this person's opinion of you or choices affect your opinion of yourself.
Anonymous
January 7th, 2017 7:08pm
He was only saying that to soften the blow of the hurt that was inevitably coming. Sugarcoating the branch swing to a different person. It's a horrible feeling being told something like that yet their actions speak an entirely different language, but my advice from personal experience is to watch what they do rather than listen to what they say.
Because at times people choice changes or at times they want to explore more and in that hunting process they lose someone important or someone worth holding of
Anonymous
July 15th, 2016 2:24am
It must be hard right now because you feel as this person was supposed to be there for you because you guys were perfect together but sometimes us as humans we tend to go for things that we think is better for us so the best thing to do is build your self-esteem
We all are human, we say things and we do the opposite. It surely must have nothing to do with you but with their own selves
Well not everyone is perfect, we will all found out perfect half. He probably did that because he thought you didn't feel the same.
Anonymous
September 22nd, 2016 5:19pm
He was having issues and wanted to see if the grass is greener on the other side. It could also be that he could'nt make up his mind at that time.
Maybe he was trying to lessen the blow of not choosing you. Or maybe you were just too perfect for him and he wanted something imperfect. Either case, it's his loss. You get to move on and not be with someone who didn't chose you despite your perfectness.
Anonymous
August 27th, 2016 9:28pm
Sometimes people get confused as to what to say to let you down easy, he sured tried not to hurt you too much, but it looks like he didn't like you that way after all.
Okay so i realized some guys are just so confusing and if he called you perfect but left you for someone else then he obviously isnt worth your time ! You'll find someone better and remember actions speak louder than words so the right guy wont just tell you youre perfect he will prove it . I can promise you the right one will come soon and you will wonder why you ever settled for less or why you were sad over a guy who was all talk and couldnt treat you the way you deserve to be treated! good luck
Anonymous
August 15th, 2018 7:04pm
You're better off -- what he said was considered a soft let down. You are perfect for someone who will appreciate and love you.
Rejection can be such a painful experience, but sometimes people who aren't meant for us take themselves out of our lives. Also, even if he said you were perfect for him, was he perfect for you? Do you want someone that would make you feel second best and prioritize someone else after leading you on? You deserve a more affirming love and it will come to you. And sometimes, it may not come from anyone else. Everyone comes to relationships with their own history that may cause them to act in painful or confusing ways. What's most important is building self sufficiency through self care!
Anonymous
February 16th, 2020 9:41pm
One day he'll love you the next day he'll act like he never said that. It's what some guys do, they just think of it like a game and forget we have feelings too. The least we can do is to accept it and move on. We need to learn from it and not become too attached to him. It's lovely hearing such nice words from someone and it's comforting that you know they love you, but love yourself more first so you can pick yourself up quicker.
Sometimes people don't know what they're saying, the heart with so much love will speak in superlatives, but you haven't seen the whole picture yet, you know?
I know it's hurtful, but maybe you can take from it his sincere intention, rather than be disappointed by the loss. He loved you enough to say that once, you are lovable!
We all come and depart from here (earth) looking to only give and receive love, I understand if you're disappointed -- after all, so close! Yet the joke is this place is made of love itself, every good and bad experience is only an expression of existence's and people's love for you. Look around, look inside -- you may be surprised!
Guys can be confusing sometimes. In reality, no one really knows what they want. What matters most is whether you think he was perfect for you and if not then you must consider whether it is reasonable to continue to pursue him. Remember, we have all been through a rough time and been told that they’d never leave us. You’re not alone. Listeners here on 7 cups are available whenever you feel like you’re not okay. Keep your head up and don’t settle for someone who isn’t worth your time. One day you’ll find someone who shows you they love you and not merely says it.
Anonymous
April 11th, 2020 4:23am
Maybe it was the timing of everything. Or maybe he was speaking of looks and not personality like maybe he did not click with your personality. You might be the greatest looking, but if you don't have a great personality things don't work out. So maybe you are an amazing person its just he didn't find something that was important to him in you, but in the other person. But he could have gone with the other person for some monetary benefit or anything of that sort. It could have been the timing of everything too. Maybe you two are great for each other, but it's just not the time.
Anonymous
April 16th, 2022 5:48pm
He probably used pretty words: you deserve better. Let his actions speak for themselves. Maybe you really are a good match; maybe he is a good match with multiple people (you might be too). Whatever the compatibility is, he either (1) didn't know what he was talking about compatibility-wise; (2) was trying to make you feel better; or (3) other external circumstances got in the way. You probably deserved a harder honesty from that person. Respect yourself enough to believe you really do deserve better for yourself. Center yourself; heal; do things you like; whatever you need to focus on yourself for awhile--find what you can learn from time spent with that person, and move forward strongly. You got this
Anonymous
November 9th, 2018 10:20am
Seems like you're stuck in a saddening situation. I understand how it feels, and I know it's hard, but those are feelings we're dealing with. Maybe you're feeling anger because he made his judgement seem like a lie. Maybe you're sad he chose someone over you. It's horrible, yes. But life doesn't revolve around someone who left, dear.. And if you weren't perfect for him, you're definitely perfect for thousands out there. Dont be upset, and hope for the better. All of us are here for you whenever you need it. Don't rush things, the person who is made for you is coming up along the way :)
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