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My friend is always negative towards me. What do I do?

275 Answers
Last Updated: 05/14/2022 at 3:18am
My friend is always negative towards me. What do I do?
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Elaine Kish, LMSW

Clinical Social Work/Therapist

My goal is to treat clients with respect and compassion. I am a supportive, strengths-based therapist with experience in treating mood disorders, grief, and trauma.

Top Rated Answers
Taconnie72
June 12th, 2018 3:41am
Calmly talk to her and say you don’t want to be friends with her if she keeps acting like this. Try to stay calm while saying this so your friend stays calm. If they get mad just stop talking to them and give them their space.
OlivePumpkin444
May 14th, 2022 3:18am
It would be best to distance yourself from someone or anyone for that matter who is negative towards you. It's understand why you can't easily do that because you consider this person to be your friend. Try to put yourself in their shoes and see if you could be negative towards someone you consider to be your friend. If you have a hard time with doing that, then clearly this person is not your friend. This person would be better described as a frenemy and they are not good to have. It's common but that doesn't mean it's healthy. If this person continues to be negative towards you, then it could start to seriously effect your mindset and overall general health in the long run.
courageousIris14
April 15th, 2018 1:49am
Talk with your friend and express your feelings. She/He may be having some issues that you might be able to help them with. Never assume it’s about you personally until you discuss the issue. Good luck!!...
Anonymous
April 15th, 2018 9:09am
If you feel hurt by the way they act negatively towards you, talk to them about it, either face to face or online, whatever you feel comfortable with. Tell them about how specific instances they acted towards you were negative and tell them how you felt as a result. Provided they value your friendship they will understand and take your feelings into consideration. If they dismiss what you say and continue acting negatively towards you, find out why. Depending on their answer it may be a better option to move on from their friendship.
Anonymous
April 22nd, 2018 5:11am
If they're bringing you down, or not listening to you, don't share things with them anymore. Instead, watch them closely and they'll tell you what they're really up to.
Nasrz8
April 28th, 2018 8:32am
You may have two options here: 1) If you like him/her, try to advice him/her about being more positive and knowing their mistakes. 2) if you don't really care about losing him/her, gradually stay away from them, it's for your own good.
BrandonCares1074
May 5th, 2018 2:01am
You should have a talk with him/her and tell them how you feel. They may change their attitude and if not, it is ok to let your parents know.
xxLittleCheerleaderxx
May 6th, 2018 2:22pm
you need to get out of that relationship. the friendship is bad for you and it is toxic. it will only make you feel worse about yourself and make you feel as if you did something wrong, which you didnt.
AnimalisticLife
May 9th, 2018 2:43am
You should address the issue to your friend and if they respond bad, he’s not s good friend to you and you deserve better
Priscilaxx
May 10th, 2018 1:03am
Letting go of a friend can be scary but there is no need to be around someone who brings you down constantly. You will always meet new people in life. Sometimes letting go of a negative friend can be a breath of fresh air.
Anonymous
May 11th, 2018 4:06pm
No one deserves to have someone be negative towards them and it isn’t right. Is there any reason why your friend is negative to you specifically? It could be that your friend is going through some difficulties and handling it badly, but that doesn’t excuse the negativity. One way to solve this problem is to ask your friend directly, and solve it directly. However, negative comments can lower your self esteem, so hanging around with other friends can help, as you will be shown appreciation and won’t have such negativity directed towards you. The main thing is to not let the comments get to you. It’s really easy for a small insult to hurt you, but the important thing is to not let it get to you. If you can’t fix things with that friend, you need to remember that such negativity isn’t nice to be around, and no one deserves that.
Anonymous
May 19th, 2018 1:52pm
IF you’re friend is negative towards you , she / he is not a real friend . You have to distance your self from them if you think that’s not going to work you can just talk to them and tell them how you feel and if they don’t seem to care just stop being friends with them and keep moving on about your life , friends aren’t always the answer they can become distractions and many more
enlightenedHeart75
May 30th, 2018 6:47am
You should speak to your friend about this situation because no one deserves a friend like that. If the friend doesn't listen and continues to treat you negatively maybe its best you's don't stay friends
medlgbtoutandproud
May 31st, 2018 3:31am
Remove these people from your life. Keep only positive friends around you as it empowers you having them around. Negative ones are there to pull you down and affects your mood or the way you work. It is best to remove them from your life. Plus a friend is supposed to be supportive, not picking on your mistakes and discouraging.
caringarrow123
June 7th, 2018 10:21pm
She/he might have something upsetting going on in her life, offer her your support. She might not even realise how shes/hes making you feel.
Anonymous
June 8th, 2018 3:16am
If this friend is always negative towards you, maybe it is best to distance yourself from them. You could also try asking politely if they could change their behavior towards you.
enigmaticCreature43
June 8th, 2018 7:03am
That can be a frustrating situation, someone who you feel is close to you can have a big influence on your future and you don’t want negativeity to allow you to not function in a variety of areas. Relationships are two sided so both people should benefit from interacting. You could say something to the other person to let them know how you feel, for example:we have been friends for awhile now but lately I have felt like you haven’t treated me like a friend. Or I feel like you don’t treat me with respect and that hurts my feelings, etc. (it often helps to say statements in the format: I feel like... because)It may be hard to confront this problem as you don’t know how the other person will act or what they will say, or if they won’t be your friend anymore, probably worse case cenrio. But you can hopefully find better friends, not all people are bad,or you may find that your friend was unaware of how you felt and how they were treating you and then they may try to make amends, but if a relationship really is abusive then you should not let that impact your life for the worst. You shouldn’t feel anxious all the time, so I’m the mist of life I hope you find happiness.
ElaineSaysHello
July 5th, 2018 5:21am
You can choose to confront them about it and ask if you did something wrong or if they're going through something in their life. Sometimes the problem may not be you, but perhaps they're projecting their negativity towards you because they're going through something that they're not comfortable sharing with you directly. This is an unhealthy method of channeling their negative energy, so maybe consider asking them about it.
Anonymous
July 22nd, 2018 10:53am
You can ask your friend the reason for her behavior to better understand her and each situation separately.
Anonymous
July 19th, 2018 6:58pm
Try writing a letter to them explaining how it makes you feel, that way you have complete control in what you say since it is pre-planned.
AndrewTheSoldier
July 15th, 2018 1:11pm
Be Honest But Gentle, Tough but fair make a list of what good things this friend has done or been for you VS Bad Things
Naomi12
July 15th, 2018 3:57am
You should speak to your friend if she is being really negative towards you and tell her how you feel. You shouldnt have to put up with people who put you down. If she continues to be like this, you should seriously consider finding a new friend who supports you in all that you do!!
Power14
July 11th, 2018 9:12pm
If he/she is your friend that means you share a good relation. There must be some reason they are acting negative towards you. You can talk to them about this matter. You can ask them "what makes them feel Negative about you?". There might be some misunderstanding, or you can explain things better to them. If there is something wrong on which you both can work together. Hope it helps, best of luck!
Anonymous
July 8th, 2018 7:57am
First, think of any reason as to why they would be mad at you. Still no clue? Confront them and ask.
Anonymous
July 6th, 2018 5:11pm
Talk to your friend and ask them why. They may be going through some things at the moment. However, if things do not change and it’s making you feel horrible and unhappy, then you should end the friendship. It’s not a healthy friendship if it makes you miserable.
TKPool
June 20th, 2018 9:57pm
It sounds like this person is taking quite the toxic toll on your life, and that's never a good thing! Toxic people can be quite cruel and damaging, however this is your friend so perhaps they do not even know how damaging their comments/actions are towards you. Perhaps you could talk to them and let them know that their comments are not welcome and that you do not need negativity in your life but would rather focus on the positives (In a kind way). Sometimes people don't think before they speak so they do not even know of the damage they cause, always voice your mind when you need something done/changed for the betterment of yourself. Peaceful wishes xx
Anonymous
June 14th, 2018 9:42am
You can talk to him/her about it. Maybe he/she doesn’t want to offend you or push you away. If you are at school or at work maybe they’re stressed.
Anonymous
June 14th, 2018 8:12pm
I’ve been through something exactly like this before. I would try to give your friend some space to start with and try to see what the cause of this is. Surround yourself with positive people in life and if this person isn’t doing this you need to change who you’re talking to. Give it time as it heals most things
LovelyLinaeBza
June 16th, 2018 5:15am
Try asking your friend what is causing her/him to be negative around you. Clarify the situation and ask if it can be fixed. Find a solution.
Anonymous
June 30th, 2018 7:29am
I would not have a person that is negative in my friend circle. Even if that mean creating a new circle. No one has time for that. Live and let live. Agree to disagree if that the only option in keeping the peace. Two negatives can never be positive. But if you continue to focus your life on the positive. The negative is lees affective.