How can I open up to people more even if it scares me?
277 Answers
Last Updated: 06/10/2022 at 3:18pm
Moderated by
Jill Kapil, PsyD
Psychologist
I have over 9 years of clinical experience, specialize in anxiety, and am passionate about my work. My approach is collaborative, empathic, supportive, and goal-oriented.
Top Rated Answers
Try and understand that most people are friendly and helpful! On the other hand, you may find solace in sharing your experience and learning from others.
It takes a lot of courage to open up to someone, especially when it scares you. The best thing to do is calm yourself down, relax and breathe, and think to yourself what you want to say. It especially helps if you're opening up to someone you know well and trust.
Every step counts, no matter how small. Start by talking about less personal things, and allow the conversation to flow naturally. If you meet an obstacle, acknowledge it. It takes two to clap, so both parties must put in the effort to make the conversation work.
Anonymous
December 16th, 2017 8:56pm
It can be scary to open up, especially if youve been hurt before. But you have to realize that there are people who do love you, and will listen to you. They will most likely not run away, you just have to find a little faith and trust.
Opening up to your loved ones can be REALLY scary. So what you've got to do is take baby steps. You could open up to someone you really love slowly you dont have to tell him/her what you are feeling all in one go and if they really love you they will wait. But if the idea of that scares you you can always reach out to one of us here at 7 cups.
Anonymous
December 28th, 2017 10:17am
Start by building a solid relationship based on trust first, then slowly tell them things when you're comfortable. No need to force yourself to open up to people.
Anonymous
January 3rd, 2018 8:20am
You gotta take baby steps. Make one small goal. You could have one thing about yourself you want to share. Then share it at the next possible opportunity. Challenge yourself to find connections between the things people say and things that have happened in your own life, then challenge yourself to answer them. Some people are reserved by nature and its okay, but its nice to prove to yourself you dont have to be. When in doubt, think to yourself about what the worst case scenario of you opening up a tiny bit could be. Good luck x
Slowly but surely might sound like an over-used saying in this kind of situation, or any situation at all, but every little thing helps. Sure, it might be scary to share with people, or just be a little more social, but if you start with the small things, then the big things don't always look so big anymore. You've just got to start small, and it might not always look like you're progressing, but the progress is there.
Anonymous
January 6th, 2018 10:23pm
Here at seven cups listeners are meant to be non-judgemental therefore they are kind caring and supportive. You can try talking to them a about little things that might be bothering you to see if you feel okay saying what is bothering you the most.
Be honest with yourself first. We're all afraid of being vulnerable... we're all terrified of being judged. Yet we tend to judge ourselves more than anyone else ever could.
We fear being open and vulnerable because it hurts the most when it goes bad. Because that's the core essence of who you are, plus the fear. Get rid of the fear and don't worry about being hurt because no one else determines your value.. no one else decides whether or not you're worthy of love and respect. Those decisions lie with you.
Love yourself. Trust yourself. Respect yourself. Value yourself. And you'll never be afraid of opening up your soul and exposing your inner child to those around you.
Anonymous
January 14th, 2018 5:47pm
Just know that they are there to help you and they are there to help you progress, and no matter what your family will support you.
Start comfortably. If it's easier for you to socialize online, try joining a group that interests you that actively discusses things. Think about how you would talk to people about your hobbies. Start with something you're passionate about. Talk to people you encounter every day such as coworkers or other parents if you are a parent. Pick one who looks friendly and think of something nice to say or an interesting question.
Anonymous
February 1st, 2018 8:39am
There is 2 ways to do it. One way is to confront that fear head on by doing it, and eventually the fear will diminish. Another is to work through why you have a fear then slowly tear down the fear.
It can be scary opening up to people when maybe people have done something so we can trust that easily. I guess you could start little by little opening up by spending time to form friendships and get to know other people.
Anonymous
February 7th, 2018 10:16pm
Everything takes practice. The more you open up to people, the easier it will become, even though it will probably still be scary. A good way to start would be opening up to somebody on 7cups because then they don't even know you in real life!
Anonymous
February 15th, 2018 6:54am
Take it slowly don’t rush into it, it may take some time it won’t happen over night. You just need to work your way up to trust certain people.
First of love, you need to start trusting yourself only then you can trust anyone else with your feelings okay? ... Its totally okay to not to open up with people much because you can't trust a boy or a girl you met 3 days ago... You can be friends with them but a secretkeeper, a person who you should fully trust.. We all have that kind of person in our life.. Keep your limitations with everyone. And you need to boost up your confidence level.. Start talking to yourself in your room infront of a mirror for like 15 to 30 minutes everyday and that would build up a great confidence level yo!
Anonymous
February 17th, 2018 2:37am
You can be scared, but once you do it, a lot of people actually feel a lot better - because you make awesome connections with others.
Talking constantly (or every day, if you want) will help a lot. I used to have a friend online and we used to talk every day, and it took years for him to finally open up to me about his personal problems (it honestly took me about two years to earn his trust) and secrets. It takes time to open up to people, for them to earn your trust and vice versa.
Opening up is so difficult for anyone but if you feel that someone has earned the privilege of knowing you deeper, take some time to plan ahead. Perhaps writing a letter and practicing how and what you will share. Create a setting that makes you feel comfortable such as having them come to your home or a favorite place. If you're still overwhelmed, try bringing a friend or family member who can sit with you while you do this. Congrats on taking such a huge step!
i know how it feels not to open up to people because it's scary i say try to make just one new friend do you can just be open to him /her so if you got open to one person you would then know some basics things about opening up to others :)
You don't have to force yourself to open up to people too soon. :) Just take your time loosening up and loving yourself and once you feel more confident in doing so, that's the time you'll be able to open up.
sometimes, people don't expect what you're going to tell them. let them know, breathe, and know that these people you can trust. you won't regret it.
Opening up to people really is scary and I think the best way to open up to them is to become more close with them at first, so that you'll gain your trust to them and easily open up to them.
Practice, with people who you close and slowly approach people example your close people's friends they can help you slowly open up.. and the most important is a support fro friends, family and people near you
Anonymous
April 5th, 2018 3:49pm
learning from my own experience opening up to people it's not easy for there is so many reasons to have fear of being laughed at being made fun of not taking you serious not caring about what you truly feel inside your heart and soul not understanding the true struggles that we face each and every day and that includes our habits the hardest lessons for us to learn is that not everybody thinks and feels the same way everybody is different we always have to understand and considered that everything when it involves a brand new person it is a fresh start our lessons from that is not to assume or picture that person as the previous person who has hurt us
I found that when i opened up to people after I was assaulted I felt a release, like I was no longer alone in the fight. I find talking over a chat rather than face to face makes to easier to explain and be honest about how i feel. Its taking the first step which is the hardest part..
I suppose it's good to start small - tell someone a tiny thing about you that makes you feel uncomfortable, then you have achieved the first step *high fives* next try saying something else/something more and keep going. I believe that you can do this buddy â¤
Start by talking to someone you are close with. You just have to take the first step, and then things will start falling into place. Once you get comfortable opening up to that person, try someone you are not as close with. Continue this process!
Push yourself. Push beyond the butterflies, the nerves, the fear, just everything. And don't be to hard on yourself. Be patient with yourself too. Don't think pushing yourself is forcing yourself.
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