Motherhood: Online Therapy, Counseling and Treatment

The Joys of Parenting

The joys of parenting are vast from the first time you take your baby home after they have been born and sharing the experience with your loved ones including any other children you may have. You gaze at your baby whilst they are sleeping and feel so in love with your tiny miracle! Your life has more meaning than it’s ever probably had before and your children become the center of your world. As a mother, the joys come in abundance and some of this is also making sacrifices for your children.

The Struggles of Motherhood

The struggles of motherhood vary from individual to individual and remember your body has gone through a tremendous change and one that is bringing lifelong changes! At each stage of motherhood from pregnancy to labor and to birth, postpartum to motherhood, everything is changing. Mind, body, and spirit.

Whilst experiencing becoming a new mom, a new normal is happening. There is a huge shift happening in your identity. You are learning to be the new mother version of yourself and if you have had children before you are learning how to become a parent to multiple children who each have individual and unique needs. During motherhood, you are shedding your old identity and becoming someone new and that person is stronger, resilient, and capable. There will be ups and downs and times where you may doubt this but everything you need to care for you and your baby is stored firmly within you.

Society has expectations of women and mothers that it can be exhausting. From whether your baby is breastfed exclusively or bottle-fed; so many opinions! All that matters is that you and your child are thriving and flourishing.

You may also be working at the same time as becoming a parent which has another layer of expectations, not only are you there to care for your baby but you need to look after the house and ensure you keep on top of the mountain of washing and also to ensure your household members are looked after! It is neverending and you are doing your best.

Postpartum Depression

Postpartum depression is a mental health condition that many parents (including fathers and other caregivers) experience after the birth of a baby. It impacts 1 in 10 women within a year of giving birth. Many women feel down after giving birth and may struggle with tearfulness or anxiety after giving birth because it is a huge change to your body after giving birth and then learning how to cope with motherhood and it is called the “baby blues”. Usually, the baby blues do not last for longer than 2 weeks. Although, if you find that you are feeling irritable, struggling with your moods or emotions, tearful and anxious for longer than 2 weeks, it may be postpartum depression. Postpartum depression can start anytime in the first year after giving birth.

Common symptoms of postpartum depression:

• Feeling sad and experiencing a low mood
• Disinterested in the world and activities that used to motivate you
• Lack of energy and feeling constantly tired (which is difficult to identify as a new parent)
• Difficulties looking after your baby’s needs
• Struggles to bond with your baby
• Concentration issues
• Thoughts of harming your baby

Postpartum depression is a serious condition and professional mental health support should be considered to help you feel better and bond better with your baby.

Feeling Overwhelmed and “Not Good Enough”

Motherhood is often an overwhelming time and not feeling “good enough” is a common concern that many mothers carry! Being a mom means that you often get lots of advice from friends and family and it can be difficult to know what to do; after all motherhood does not come with a guidebook! Sometimes you may feel like you are really doing your best and being the best mother you can be and then you may feel like you are just not good enough. You are not alone, most if not all moms go through the same.

Practical tips for those moms who feel overwhelmed and “not good enough”:

• Focus on you and your child(ren) and if you are struggling with a messy home try to break the tasks down into daily and weekly tasks so you are on track.
• Reach out for support from those around you and parenting support groups.
• Use planners to effectively time manage and break down the tasks into manageable steps.

What is Mom Guilt?

Motherhood is a time of joy but also there can be some moments where you feel overwhelmed and like you’re just not doing well enough which can lead to “mom guilt”. As I write this, I am reminded of what it is like to be a mother and to have that experience of constantly wanting to do better for your precious children and the doubts in your mind of just not being good enough. If you are reading this and have a mother in particular in mind that always looks like they have it together… it’s all an illusion! We are all in this challenge together and each of us are finding our feet every single day. Mom guilt is that pervasive feeling of just not being good enough or doing things how they should be even as far as thinking you might damage your children in the future. Mom guilt is often full of “shoulds” and comparing yourself to all of the other moms with the homebaked treats!

The Emotional and Physical Challenges

The emotional and physical challenges of being a mother vary from individual to individual. Emotionally you may experience many emotions raising children from feeling unsettled when they are struggling at school to coping with adolescent teenage mood swings. It’s not an easy job! Emotionally you may feel very up and down with the challenges of motherhood and that is normal. Physically we have so many demands and some of those may include the toll that motherhood may place on us to care physically for our children both physically and financially too. We are often juggling many roles as a mother and it’s perfectly normal to find some of those challenging.

Advice for Single Moms

The main advice we have at 7 Cups for single moms is to know that you are doing an amazing job and one that is going to change your child’s life for the better.

Learning to Mother Ourselves

Often, we may have experienced a difficult childhood and struggle to emotionally process our childhoods and experiences. We have to learn the process of loving ourselves. It may be a difficult time for you with your childhood experiences. It means to love ourselves unconditionally and learn that we may have struggles that make it difficult but to know that we deserve this love. It means we take responsibility for our own growth, healing and changes in life. Make time to listen to yourself and truly nurture yourself and who you are.

Learning to mother ourselves means the following:

• We learn to walk away when a relationship is toxic.
• We know what our needs are and how to meet them.
• We have certain boundaries in our relationships that we know are necessary for growth.

Finding Your Way

Finding your way as a mother takes time and patience. It is not going to happen overnight and you will struggle from time to time. This is normal and will take time for you to feel like you understand the role in front of you. Online therapy will support you in your mental health journey through the first steps to coping with motherhood in a way that works for you. 7 Cups is an on-demand emotional support platform and a caring and thriving community of people that support one another. You may connect with a counselor, social worker or psychologist to address your issues if you undergo online therapy for your situation. It is important that you put your mental health first for any mental health issues that you are suffering which will likely cause a significant reduction in any difficulties that you are experiencing. The 7 Cups Community has helped over 60 million people in emotional distress since 2013. The community is available globally in 189 countries and 140 languages. We provide 1:1 free support sessions with a trained listener, personalized growth paths to help you feel better and online therapy with licensed therapists.