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5haruhi5
1 120 M Embraced 1
PathStep 1 Compassion hearts8 Forum posts1 Forum upvotes3 Current upvotes3 Age GroupAdult Last activeJanuary, 2026 Member sinceDecember 14, 2025
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what can I do other than pray for peace?

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Too scared to seek therapy
Trauma Support / by 5haruhi5
Last post
 December 17th, 2025
...See more I know something’s wrong with me or something went wrong in my childhood, and it’s changed me for the worse, I can see it in my daily life, I’ve never been able to relate to others, to feel safe, every time I saw someone else’s family I used to get so confused and sad over why they got to be normal. After getting older I started repressing these emotions, telling myself that things were normal and that I was being dramatic, but it’s becoming too much for me to hold back. Carrying this all is stressful, it’s tiring, I’ve lost weeks or months of my memory and it’s become a complete blur because of all this tar I’m holding in me. It isn’t like I don’t want help, I just don’t know how to even start. Do I go and tell a therapist “I think something screwed me up” and hope for the best, I don’t even know specifics, they’d be having to try and figure that out with me too, that would be so much trouble, and it’s been years. It’s been long enough that any normal person would have gotten over it, I don’t know why I have to dwell on everything so much and have it affect me this badly. And I don’t want questions on everything, I don’t know what brought me in exactly, I don’t know how it made me feel, I barely remember what happened, I don’t know why I didn’t speak up earlier, I don’t know if I want to report it, I don’t know if I’m okay, I don’t know if I’m safe, I don’t know, I don’t know, I’m scared I’m scared I’ll never be able to figure out what has ruined me. Has anyone seeked help for deep rooted trauma they don’t even remember? How do you even start? How do you answer everything they ask?
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