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6IVBlankSlate
58 M Embraced
PathStep 2 Compassion hearts5 Forum posts1 Forum upvotes0 Current upvotes0 Age GroupAdult Last activeApril, 2021 Member sinceApril 15, 2021
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First Relationship
Relationship Stress / by 6IVBlankSlate
Last post
 April 24th, 2021
...See more Hello, I recently broke up with my girlfriend. We dated back in 2020 and didn't even last a year. It was my first relationship too. I noticed there were several problems when we were together. On our first date, she got in trouble by her mother for going out due to the pandemic. I offered to approach her mother and be honest but she told me we should wait until the time is more appropriate. I wanted to give her space so we just dated in "secret". I have always wanted to just approach her mother about us dating but she kept saying no. I also come off as a really blunt person and I like to be very honest but to her it comes off as me being rude. I admit I did say some things that I probably should not have said such as "If you're not happy, then you may go." However, I never meant this as something with hostile or ill intentions. I loved her and I enjoyed every moment with her including our dates. I just think she felt like I didn't validate her enough. She told me I didn't care for the little things. I do remember a lot of the little things she told me though... I know the shows she likes to watch, her favorite characters from cartoons/shows, etc. I just was bad at letting her know I cared. I come from a family with a complex chemistry and the phrase "I love you" is something that is not directly said. Intimacy is hard for me to fully grasp but never once in this relationship did I feel I did not want her. I really did love her and I tried my best. I dated her and told her about my complicated family but that I wanted to date her with the intention of her being my lifelong partner (we're both adults that have a clear understanding of settling down). She broke up with me and I just can't help but feel a lot of it is just her misunderstanding me. I'm not great at expressing myself but I'm tried so hard to finally be intimate with someone. Our communication was not the greatest too as I was always the one who wanted to verbally talk when we got into arguments but she never wanted to talk (I feel written words are easily misinterpreted) about the problems we faced and shed often just ignore me. It hurt so much when she said she felt if the relationship was kept a secret, it would be as if it never happened. I made mistakes too but I was always trying to make it up by talking to her but she never wanted to talk about them.
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