7motivation |
Listener - Supporter 2

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START GETTING UNSTUCK
AND START FEELING BETTER!

LEARN HOW...

Hi, I just came here from another help chat site...
... So I've already helped hundreds of "Venters" talk out and find their own answers to many types of problems such as: getting unstuck

, overcoming feeling OVERWHELMED

, making things s.i.m.p.l.e and

[manage][able] again, getting back =O=N=

T=R=A=C=K=

=, getting back your

power, getting back in control, getting back to an

improvement

mindset and creating

momentum and keeping it

going, overcoming p....r....o...c..rastination, creating

motivation with ACTION (except not depression-related problems please), improving habits and routines to design an

easier,

happier lifestyle.

I've also helped people with complex issues about

dating, boundary

setting,

relationships,

avoiding romantic relationships altogether,

breakups,

cheating, finding closure,

forgiveness,

family, forced/pressured marriage,

religion, spirituality, journaling,

sexuality ???uncertainty, sexual abuse, sexual obsession, virginity concerns,

OCD,

OBSESSION, COMPULSION,

inTRUsive thoughts,

COdependency,

addiction,

lonel.i.ness, finding

friends in real-life, being an introvert

ʇɹǝʌoɹʇuı,

identity ??? issues,

boredom, University

student life, college

major change, job

hunting, job

stress, sleep problems Zzz(-¿-)Zzz...(ô¿ô) binge eating disorder,

weightmanagement, exercise

motivation, flow,

focus, and

self-care.

READ THIS PAGE AND LEARN NEW WAYS TO GET UNSTUCK

BECOME A "GETTING UNSTUCK" Ninja!

FIRST LET ME EXPLAIN MY APPROACH

I've helped many people by having long, deep, interesting

conversations about their past...during which they discover on their own WHY they are stuck now.

Knowing WHY you're stuck is often
very

helpful for you to change.

All I do mainly is just ask really good, insightful questions.
That's usually half the answer.
You yourself can get at the key issues that way.

After hearing yourself think-things-out, it all becomes much clearer and you get a much better big picture of the hidden feelings and reasons that have been driving you.

You can then decide what it all means and how it helps you make changes because you'll have a better understanding of what you think is going on from your new enhanced point of view.

MY TRAINING AND WHY I'M HERE
I've taken almost all of the relevant
7Cups

training (47 courses)
and

lots of training from other resources.

I have 7Cups

Certification in Active Listening Level 2

.
I also have a

Masters Degree (MS) and a lot of life experience making

good changes.

I'm a

Listener here because
I've always wanted to understand a wide variety of personal problems and

evidence-based solutions, and to help

people find their own

solutions using various listening and

conversation styles. I enjoy using my experience in

finding

root causes of problems to help others figure out their

desired "corrective action". I also enjoy helping people see the BIG picture [

]and find that

"Ah

ha!" insight they've been

looking for.

CATEGORIES I COVER
If you want help please note

I only cover the topics on the Categories list below.
Anything else is outside my scope and/or

comfort-zone so

I will refer you to

someone

appropriate.
Particularly if you have/had depression and/or lost all interests, lost all passion in life, lost all meaning in life, then please use the Browse Listeners Advance Search Link below and find someone who can help you who has Lived Experience and is willing to provide Long Term Support. https://www.7cups.com/BrowseListeners/%3Fbadge%3D%26find%3Dmotivation%26sort%3Dcheers%26ageGroup%3D%26listType%3Dlistener%26country%3D%26category%3D3%26gender%3D%26language%3D%26verifiedlistener%3Don%26acceptSponsees%3Don%26livedExperience%3Don

CATEGORIES I COVER
Creating Good Habits & Routines
Understanding Good & Bad Motivations
Making Tiny Easy Changes
Getting on an Easy Steady Growth Path

also. . .
Breakups
Exercise Motivation
Family Stress
Forgiveness
General Mental Health
Getting Unstuck
Loneliness
Managing Emotions
Obsessive Compulsive Disorder
Relationship Stress
Self-Esteem
Sleeping Well
Social Anxiety
Weight Management
Work Stress

If I don't cover your topic, please use the Browse Listeners page to find someone just right for your needs.
https://www.7cups.com/BrowseListeners/

HOW TO GET UNSTUCK
Below are some strategies used to get unstuck.

At 7Cups, you always decide what's right for you.
Listeners are only here to support you to find your own solutions, not provide unequivocal advice.

GET UNSTUCK FROM DEFAULT ROLES
Are you often stuck in the role of Situation Victim who needs help or can't be helped?

Are you often stuck in the role of the Rescuer of someone who needs help?

Are you often stuck in the role of wanting to be the Domineering person or the Meany or the Bully or even a 7CupsTroll to feel better or to "teach" someone a lesson?

Would you like insights on why people often keep FALLING

into certain roles and get [ stuck ] there?

You can

understand those default roles, why people

fall into them, how to get

out of them, and how to take on much

better alternative roles.

HERE'S AN INSIGHTFUL VIDEO LINK...
to help you

understand why people get [ stuck ] in a

Drama

Triangle

and how to get out and stay out.
(This guy explains how to get unstuck really really well):
https://youtu.be/uAFZa2Iyp3o
FYI - NO DRAGONS WERE HARMED IN THE VIDEO!

REGAINING CONTROL
Start shifting into the role of a person who takes back their

power. Start fixing things and as a result start feeling better and regain momentum and feel good right away.

Start by taking baby steps. Think:

What do I want? and

How do I think I can get it? Make small improvements so it's

easy and motivating and

feels rewarding. You can make good p.r.o.g.r.e.s.s when you start

looking for little solutions and keep

experimenting until soon you make

good things happen.

REMEMBER:
Making Progress
Is the Best Motivator
- Even Small Easy Progress -

Right now. . .
You can take a little action,
make a little progress,
and that will feel good.

When you're tempted
to make excuses, remember. . .

Making a little progress
feels better.

STUCK AND AFRAID OR ASHAMED

Remember:
Whenever you're feeling

[ stuck ] and in BIG trouble,
always reach out - and keep reaching out -
until you find the

right person to talk to.
It's the

essential first step.
You can stop keeping everything

bottled-up inside you. You can stop

fear or

shame or

despair or

worry from taking over

your life like a bad habit in a vicious cycle. Break out of it now!

Talking is the

key first step to start finding

healthy

solutions just

right for you.

OVERCOMING FEAR AND INACTION

Inaction breeds

doubt and

fear.

Action breeds

confidence
and

courage.

IF YOU WANT TO

CONQUER

FEAR...

Don't sit at

home
and

think about it.

Go out and get busy

(Dale Carnegie)

ACTION IS THE KEY.

Action conquers

fear.

ACTION CREATES MOMENTUM
and momentum creates motivation.

So... ACTION CREATES MOTIVATION!

START TAKING ACTION.
Motivation will follow.

OVERCOME FEAR OF MAKING A MISTAKE
Take the shame and fear out of making mistakes.

Get unstuck by taking a reasonable risk to make progress.

Realize with each action you'll gain knowledge, new ideas, resilience, courage, self-understanding, and quicker results.

STUCK IN BAD ROUTINES DUE TO THE MIND
The mind by default wants to keep you safe and thinks change is bad. So it makes you feel uncomfortable if you want to change.

That can make it hard for some to change for the better.

SO RECOGNIZE YOUR MIND'S INGRAINED RESISTANCE. . .
and make changes happen anyway.

TAKE ACTION REPEATEDLY TO OVERCOME INNER RESISTANCE TO CHANGE.
Then soon, the mind will become accustomed to the new normal for you. This applies for new habits, new routines, new self-image, and new ways of thinking.

NOTICE WHEN YOU ARE FALLING BACK INTO AN OLD "RUT".
Then take corrective action and go into your new mode of behaving or thinking or doing things because it's the new you now.

STUCK IN BAD ROUTINES BECAUSE YOU'RE
MAKING IT TOO EASY TO DO BAD THINGS

AND MAKING IT TOO HARD TO DO GOOD THINGS. . .
Try to make it very hard to do bad things and make it very easy to do good things.

For example, set up your environment so it's very convenient to do good things and very inconvenient to do bad things.

Be with people that behave like you want to behave.
Avoid people who don't behave like you want to behave.

USE MOTIVATIONAL SELF-TALK
out-loud to get yourself going.

THINK THINGS OUT-LOUD
and tell yourself what to do.

It's proven to work wonders!

CREATE GOOD DAILY ROUTINES
to create automatic motivation!

THEN PROGRESS HAPPENS DAILY
and you'll feel better more and more.

FOCUS ON WHAT YOU CAN

CONTROL.

Take small easy s.t.e.p.s and get momentum.

REMEMBER rumination and worry DO NOT work.

PROBLEM SOLVE

rather than

worry.

HAPPINESS

comes from

solving problems.

STUCK IN DENIAL OR CAN'T SEE MISTAKE
If you're still stuck, it might be because you made a mistake...
that your ego is unwilling to let you admit and that could be causing you great emotional dissonance.

Think about the possibility you made a mistake and figure out if it's true.

If yes, admit it, forgive youself, learn from it, and that will set you free from your resistance.

Then you can stop ignoring your mistake and either fix it if possible or accept you have to live with it and take alternative action.

STUCK DUE TO PERFECTIONISM
PERFECTIONISM IS COMMON IN PEOPLE WHO. . .
- overthink habitually, obsessively
- are afraid of making a mistake
- are "Maximizers" and want to get
the very most or best out of every situation.

SO PERFECTIONISTS GET STUCK IN VICIOUS CYCLES. . .
- procrastinate to find the best solution
- gather too much data
- overthink then can't make a good decision when needed
- second-guess their decisions so are never happy long
- set unachieveable goals

THE SOLUTION IS TO BECOME A "SATISFICER" INSTEAD. . .

SATISFICERS
- use a much simpler, easier approach to decision making
- are better at making good decisions
- are much happier and successful

Here is a resource to learn more and get unstuck from Perfectionism:
https://www.psychologistworld.com/cognitive/maximizers-satisficers-decision-making

STUCK IN A PROCRASTINATION "VICIOUS CYCLE"

Do you procrastinate to regulate your
negative emotions about an unpleasant task?

Putting it off feels good for a while and that
temporarily solves the negative emotions.

But that doesn't solve the problem
and actually it makes it worse.

Now you have less time to do the task
so you end up worrying about it more and more.

And you'll end up doing the task worse
than someone who didn't procrastinate
because you gave yourself less time to do it.

So why is it you procrastinated and they didn't?

Your problem is how you dealt with
your reaction to your complex emotions about the task.

The other person dealt with their emotions first and
that avoided falling into the vicious procrastination cycle.

Instead, they focused on finding an easy first step to get going.
After that it was easier for them to do the next steps.

Solution: Learn to constructively manage your complex negative emotions about the task.

See https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-adaptive-mind/201901/how-overcome-procrastination-starting-now

REMEMBER THE KEY IS. . .
Decide "in advance" to always
Just Get Started.

Decide to just pick some very easy part to do for now.

Just focus on that easy little bit until it's done.

Then celebrate and feel good about it.

The more progress you make, the better you will feel.

Keep doing it, easy little bit-by-bit, until you are done.

Repeat The Above
Whenever Stuck.

MAKING GOOD FRIENDS
If you want make new

friends, try these fun-to-listen-to podcasts:
Start ending lonel i ness.

A good first step to break out of feeling lonely is . . .
TAKE BACK YOUR POWER to make things happen!. . .
Reach out and find new friends in real-life.

LEARN HOW TO MAKE NEW FRIENDS
IN THE 3 FUN PODCASTS BELOW.
Podcast 1 starts out silly about using a spreadsheet, but gets very interesting and covers "How to have find and keep friendships". Lots of great ideas, suggestions, and insights are provided that are proven to work.
Click on the [Minute Listen] blue bar on the web pages.

Each podcast wraps up with "take-aways". I guarantee you will learn surprising new things that will help you in real-life.

Poodcast 1 - Accept The Awkwardness: How To Make Friends

and keep them

https://www.npr.org/2019/08/15/751479810/make-new-friends-and-keep-the-old

Podcast 2 - When Friendships Change, How To Cope

https://www.npr.org/2019/08/19/752412010/when-friendship-changes-how-to-cope

Podcast 3 - Men Can Have Better Friendships. Here's How

(not just for guys!)
https://www.npr.org/2019/08/19/752412752/men-can-have-better-friendships-heres-how

STUCK BECAUSE LONELY
WHAT IS LONELINESS?
Loneliness is the highly subjective feeling one gets when one lacks meaningful relationships. One needs to make sure they feel known, understood, connected, and supported to solve being lonely.

HOW LONELY ARE YOU COMPARED TO OTHER PEOPLE?
Take this 3 minute quiz and see
https://psychcentral.com/cgi-bin/loneliness-quiz.cgi
(based Russell "UCLA Loneliness Scale" v3)

WHY ARE PEOPLE LONELIER NOW?
1) habitual exposure to social media
2) habitual surfing the internet
3) habitual use of smart phones
4) habitual texting instead of having voice calls
5) habitual hanging-out with other lonely people on-line
6) habitual avoiding real-life activities and contacts

HOW TO GET UNSTUCK?
Realize what is going on...
Become very aware that those harmful habits perpetuate a painful viscious cycle. Put new habits and routines in place that make your life better. Feel good by solving the problem.

HOW TO END LONELINESS THE EASY WAY?
One simple way is by joining-in on near-by regular weekly group activities. Find activities in categories you already enjoy doing on your own. Then you'll start finding new friends who share your interests. You'll have a nice, friendly social network. All kinds of great opportunities can then happen.

BONUS FACT - Hang out with happy people and you'll be happier. Happiness is contagious. So find people that do things that make you happy and do things with them regularly. Avoid the opposite situation.

OTHER REASONS YOU MIGHT BE STUCK. . .
Stuck because not reaching out for help.
Stuck in your comfort zone.
Stuck due to maladaptive coping mechanisms.
Stuck due to self-sabotage.
Stuck due to wanting the world to be different.
Stuck due to wrong assumptions.
Stuck due to wrong understanding of reality or people.
Stuck due to self-imposed limitations.
Stuck due to acting without thinking.
Stuck due to not asking the right questions.
Stuck due to not getting other points of view.
Stuck due to making decisions using only emotion or logic.
Stuck due to bad or no long-term planning.
Stuck due to wrong goals or wrong motivation.
Stuck due to poor self-discipline.
Stuck due to inexperience.
All of these can be overcome after you identify them.

STUCK: NEED GOOD SELF-CARE
Self-care means constantly protecting one’s mental, emotional, and physical health.

DO YOU PROPERLY. . . eat, rest, sleep, breath, stay active, think/reflect, self-talk, manage emotions, manage priorities, stay-empowered, socialize, and get support when needed?

If not, you may be stuck because your life needs proper attention.

TRY BEING PROACTIVE
and keep things in control rather than being passive and only react after things get far out of control.

STUCK DRIFTING - NOT ON A "GROWTH PATH"
GOING IN CIRCLES OR NOWHERE OR WRONG WAY.

REMEMBER:
To grow daily,
get on a growth path.

TRY USING THE 7CUPS "GROWTH PATH" TOOLS
https://www.7cups.com/path/

LEARN HOW TO CREATE GOOD
"TINY HABITS" EASILY!!!
Click link below for podcast:
https://www.npr.org/2020/02/25/809256398/tiny-habits-are-the-key-to-behavioral-change

TRY USING 7CUPS NONI CHATBOT SPECIAL MENU FOR
learning Self-Care, Setting Goals, Setting Reminders.

GETTING UNSTUCK RESOURCES

7Cups Getting Unstuck Self-Help Guide / Training:
https://www.7cups.com/getting-unstuck/

7Cups Mindfulness Exercises For Better Control:
https://www.7cups.com/exercises/mindfulness/

7Cups Self-Help Guides / Training (full list):
https://www.7cups.com/supportGuides/selfHelpGuides.php

7 Cups for the Searching Soul E-Book as a free 7Cups Self-Help Guide
or free at Amazon.com and read immediately in Kindle Cloud Reader

ARE YOU READY TO CHANGE?
"Ultimately, people change when they are ready to change. Our job as Listeners is to basically show care, support, listen, and nurture that motivation to change. Simply caring will help awaken or help uncover the strength to start the change process."

Number of Ratings:	15
Number of Reviews:	15
Listens to	Over 18
Languages	English
Listener Since	Oct 1, 2019
Last Active	in last week

Progress Path	Step 235
Cheers	11,936
People Helped	56
Chats	208
Group Support Chats	0
Listener Group Chats	0
Forum Posts	76
Forum Upvotes	141

Categories
Managing Emotions
Work Stress
Sleeping Well
Breakups
Family Stress
Weight Management
Exercise Motivation
Forgiveness
Obsessive Compulsive Disorder
Social Anxiety
Getting Unstuck
Loneliness
Relationship Stress
Self-Esteem
General Mental Health

Feedback & Reviews

7motivation was a very good listener and while I told them my problem, they brought up questions that made me think. It was very helpful to chat with this person. Thank you.

Asks the right questions that I didn't even know needed answers

Helped me find a new perspective on a long term issue.

A chat that was desperately needed before I lost control. Having someone to talk to is half the battle and you helped me see that. Thanks

Wasn't able to help me but was kind & cordial about it & was able to direct me to someone who was, efficient.

Helped simplify everything. Very patient

very kind and thoughtful!

made good questions

7motivation is a very caring listener and knowledgeable about how lifestyle effects our moods. Thanks! Reccomended

very kind listener, chatted twice, thanks!

Great chat, thanks so much

Very easy to open up to and extremely helpful and knowledgeable.

Very nice and helpful

Excellent! I highly recommend this listener

Thanks for letting me just let my thoughts out via text

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7motivation |
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7motivation |
Listener - Supporter 2