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7motivation |
Listener - Supporter 2

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START GETTING UNSTUCK
AND START FEELING BETTER! 
smiley
LEARN HOW... 

Hi, I just came here from another help chat site...
... So I've already helped hundreds of smileylaughcool"Venters" talk out and find their own enlightenedanswers to many types of problems such as: getting unstuck smiley, overcoming feeling OVERWHELMEDsurprisesurprisesurprise, making things s.i.m.p.l.e and yes[manage][able] again, getting back =O=N=smileyT=R=A=C=K=smiley=, getting back your enlightenedpower, getting back in control, getting back to an angelimprovement enlightenedmindset and creating smileysmileysmileymomentum and keeping it smileysmileysmileysmileysmileysmileygoing, overcoming p....r....o...c..rastination, 
creating enlightenedmotivation with ACTION (except not depression-related problems please), improving habits and routines to design an smileyeasier, laughhappier lifestyle.





I've also helped smileylaughcoolpeople with complex issues about
heartdating, boundary yesnosetting, smileywinkrelationships,
noavoiding romantic relationships altogether, broken heartbreakups, broken heartcheating, finding closure, indecisionindecisionforgiveness, coolsmileycheekyfamily, forced/pressured marriage, angeldevilreligion, spirituality, journaling, kisssexuality ???uncertainty, sexual abuse, sexual obsession, virginity concerns, surpriseOCD, sadOBSESSION, COMPULSIONangryinTRUsive thoughts, devilangelCOdependency, angryaddiction, sadlonel
.i.ness, finding smileylaughcoolfriends in real-life, being an introvert blush ʇɹǝʌoɹʇuı, frownidentity ??? issues, sadboredom, University coolstudent life, college cryingmajor change, job coolhunting, job angrystress, sleep problems Zzz(-¿-)Zzz...(ô¿ô)  binge eating disorder,frown weightmanagement, exercise angrymotivation, flow, coolfocus, and angelself-care.





READ THIS PAGE AND LEARN NEW WAYS TO GET UNSTUCKyessmiley
BECOME A "GETTING UNSTUCK" Ninja! angel






FIRST LET ME EXPLAIN MY APPROACHangel
I've helped many people by having long, deep, interesting smileylaughconversations about their past...during which they discover on their own WHY they are stuck now.

Knowing WHY you're stuck is often
very yeshelpful for you to change.

All I do mainly is just ask really good, insightful questions.
That's usually half the answer.
You yourself can get at the key issues that way.  smiley 

After hearing yourself think-things-out, it all becomes much clearer and you get a much better big picture of the hidden feelings and reasons that have been driving you.  

You can then decide what it all means and how it helps you make changes because you'll have a better understanding of what you think is going on from your new enhanced point of view.smiley






MY TRAINING AND WHY I'M HERE
I've taken almost all of the relevant
7Cups mailmailmailtraining (47 courses)
and mailmailmaillots of training from other resources.  

I have 7Cups mailCertification in Active Listening Level 2yesyes.
I also have a laughmailMasters Degree (MS) and a lot of life experience making yesangelgood changes.






I'm a angelListener here because
I've always wanted to understand a wide variety of personal problems and mailevidence-based solutions, and to help smileylaughcoolpeople find their own yesenlightenedsolutions using various listening and laughsmileyconversation styles. I enjoy using my experience in coolfinding enlightenedroot causes of problems to help others figure out their heartdesired "corrective action". I also enjoy helping people see the BIG picture [smiley]and find that enlightened"Ahsurpriseha!" insight they've been coollooking for.laugh






CATEGORIES I COVER
If you want help please note 
angelI only cover the topics on the Categories list below. 
Anything else is outside my scope and/or surprisecomfort-zone so angelI will refer you to smileysomeone yesappropriate.

Particularly if you have/had depression and/or lost all interests, lost all passion in life, lost all meaning in life, then please use the Browse Listeners Advance Search Link below and find someone who can help you who has Lived Experience and is willing to provide Long Term Support. https://www.7cups.com/BrowseListeners/%3Fbadge%3D%26find%3Dmotivation%26sort%3Dcheers%26ageGroup%3D%26listType%3Dlistener%26country%3D%26category%3D3%26gender%3D%26language%3D%26verifiedlistener%3Don%26acceptSponsees%3Don%26livedExperience%3Don






CATEGORIES I COVER
Creating Good Habits & Routines
Understanding Good & Bad Motivations

Making Tiny Easy Changes
Getting on an Easy Steady Growth Path

also. . .

Breakups
Exercise Motivation
Family Stress
Forgiveness
General Mental Health
Getting Unstuck
Loneliness
Managing Emotions
Obsessive Compulsive Disorder
Relationship Stress
Self-Esteem
Sleeping Well
Social Anxiety
Weight Management
Work Stress

If I don't cover your topic, please use the Browse Listeners page to find someone just right for your needs.
https://www.7cups.com/BrowseListeners/






HOW TO GET UNSTUCK
Below are some strategies used to get unstuck. 


At 7Cups, you always decide what's right for you.
Listeners are only here to support you to find your own solutions, not provide unequivocal advice.






GET UNSTUCK FROM DEFAULT ROLES
Are you often stuck in the role of Situation Victim who needs help or can't be helped?crying

Are you often stuck in the role of the Rescuer of someone who needs help?surprise

Are you often stuck in the role of wanting to be the Domineering person or the Meany or the Bully or even a 7CupsTroll to feel better or to "teach" someone a lesson?angry 

Would you like insights on why people often keep FALLING cryingangrysurpriseinto certain roles and get [ stuck ] there?


You can enlightenedunderstand those default roles, why people surprisefall into them, how to get smileyout of them, and how to take on much angelbetter alternative roles.

HERE'S AN INSIGHTFUL VIDEO LINK...
to help you enlightenedunderstand why people get [ stuck ] in a
crying
Drama 
angryTrianglesurprise
and how to get out and stay out.
(This guy explains how to get unstuck really really well):

https://youtu.be/uAFZa2Iyp3o
FYI - NO DRAGONS WERE HARMED IN THE VIDEO! smiley






REGAINING CONTROL
Start shifting into the role of a person who takes back their enlightenedpower. Start fixing things and as a result start feeling better and regain momentum and feel good right away.yes Start by taking baby steps. Think: enlightenedWhat do I want? and enlightenedHow do I think I can get it?  Make small improvements so it's smileyeasy and motivating and laughfeels rewarding. You can make good p.r.o.g.r.e.s.s when you start coollooking for little solutions and keep smileyexperimenting until soon you make angelgood things happen. yes






REMEMBER:  
Making Progress
Is the Best Motivator
- Even Small Easy Progress -






Right now. . . 
You can take a little action,
make a little progress,
and that will feel good.smiley








When you're tempted
to make excuses, remember. . .


Making a little progress
feels better. 






STUCK AND AFRAID OR ASHAMED
enlightenedRemember:
Whenever you're feeling sadcryingangrysurprisefrown[ stuck ] and in BIG trouble,
always reach out   - and keep reaching out -
until you find the angelright person to talk to. 
It's the yesessential first step.
You can stop keeping everything angrybottled-up inside you. You can stop surprisefear or blushshame or saddespair or frownworry from taking over sadfrowncryingangrysadfrowncryingangry your life like a bad habit in a vicious cycle.  Break out of it now! laughsmileyTalking is the yes key first step to start finding angelhealthy enlightenedsolutions just yessmileyright for you.smiley







OVERCOMING FEAR AND INACTION

indecisionInaction breeds frowndoubt and surprisefear.

laughAction breeds winkconfidence
and angelcourage.








enlightenedIF YOU WANT TO yesCONQUER surpriseFEAR...

noDon't sit at frownhome
and surprisethink about it.

yesGo out and get busyyessmiley


(Dale Carnegie)







ACTION IS THE KEY.smiley
Action conquers surprisefear.









ACTION CREATES MOMENTUM
and momentum creates motivation.


So... ACTION CREATES MOTIVATION!smiley



START TAKING ACTION.
Motivation will follow.smiley








OVERCOME FEAR OF MAKING A MISTAKE
Take the shame and fear out of making mistakes.

Get unstuck by taking a reasonable risk to make progress.  

Realize with each action you'll gain knowledge, new ideas, resilience, courage, self-understanding, and 
quicker results.







STUCK IN BAD ROUTINES DUE TO THE MIND
The mind by default wants to keep you safe and thinks change is bad. So it makes you feel uncomfortable if you want to change.

That can make it hard for some to change for the better.

SO RECOGNIZE YOUR MIND'S INGRAINED RESISTANCE. . .
and make changes happen anyway.

TAKE ACTION REPEATEDLY TO OVERCOME INNER RESISTANCE TO CHANGE.  
Then soon, the mind will become accustomed to the new normal for you. This applies for new habits, new routines, new self-image, and new ways of thinking.

NOTICE WHEN YOU ARE FALLING BACK INTO AN OLD "RUT".  
Then take corrective action and go into your new mode of behaving or thinking or doing things because it's the new you now.








STUCK IN BAD ROUTINES BECAUSE YOU'RE
MAKING IT TOO EASY TO DO BAD THINGS

AND MAKING IT TOO HARD TO DO GOOD THINGS. . .
Try to make it very hard to do bad things and make it very easy to do good things.

For example, set up your environment so it's very convenient to do good things and very inconvenient to do bad things.

Be with people that behave like you want to behave.
Avoid people who don't behave like you want to behave.









USE MOTIVATIONAL SELF-TALK
out-loud to get yourself going.  









THINK THINGS OUT-LOUD
and tell yourself what to do. 

It's proven to work wonders!









CREATE GOOD DAILY ROUTINES
to create automatic motivation!smiley


THEN PROGRESS HAPPENS DAILY
and you'll feel better more and more.smiley








FOCUS ON WHAT YOU CAN coolCONTROL.


Take small easy s.t.e.p.s and get momentum.








REMEMBER rumination and worry DO NOT work.







PROBLEM SOLVE angel rather than surpriseworry.


HAPPINESS laugh comes from smileysolving problems. 








STUCK IN DENIAL OR CAN'T SEE MISTAKE
If you're still stuck, it might be because you made a mistake... 
that your ego is unwilling to let you admit and that could be causing you great emotional dissonance.  

Think about the possibility you made a mistake and figure out if it's true.

If yes, admit it, forgive youself, learn from it, and that will set you free from your resistance.

Then you can stop ignoring your mistake and either fix it if possible or accept you have to live with it and take alternative action.







STUCK DUE TO PERFECTIONISM
PERFECTIONISM IS COMMON IN PEOPLE WHO. . .
- overthink habitually, obsessively
- are afraid of making a mistake
- are "Maximizers" and want to get
the very most or best out of every situation.

SO PERFECTIONISTS GET STUCK IN VICIOUS CYCLES. . .
- procrastinate to find the best solution
- gather too much data
- overthink then can't make a good decision when needed
- second-guess their decisions so are never happy long 
- set unachieveable goals

THE SOLUTION IS TO BECOME A "SATISFICER" INSTEAD. . .  

SATISFICERS
- use a much simpler, easier approach to decision making
- are better at making good decisions
- are much happier and successful

Here is a resource to learn more and get unstuck from Perfectionism:

https://www.psychologistworld.com/cognitive/maximizers-satisficers-decision-making






STUCK IN A PROCRASTINATION "VICIOUS CYCLE"

Do you procrastinate to regulate your
negative emotions about an unpleasant task?

Putting it off feels good for a while and that
temporarily solves the negative emotions.

But that doesn't solve the problem
and actually it makes it worse.

Now you have less time to do the task
so you end up worrying about it more and more.

And you'll end up doing the task worse
than someone who didn't procrastinate
because you gave yourself less time to do it.

So why is it you procrastinated and they didn't?

Your problem is how you dealt with 
your reaction to your complex emotions about the task.

The other person dealt with their emotions first and
that avoided falling into the vicious procrastination cycle.

Instead, they focused on finding an easy first step to get going.
After that it was easier for them to do the next steps.

Solution: Learn to constructively manage your complex negative emotions about the task.

See
 https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-adaptive-mind/201901/how-overcome-procrastination-starting-now



REMEMBER THE KEY IS. . .
Decide "in advance" to always
Just Get Started.

Decide to just pick some very easy part to do for now. 

Just focus on that easy little bit until it's done.    

Then celebrate and feel good about it.

The more progress you make, the better you will feel.


Keep doing it, easy little bit-by-bit, until you are done.

Repeat The Above
Whenever Stuck.







MAKING GOOD FRIENDS 
If you want make new smileylaughcoolfriends, try these fun-to-listen-to podcasts:
Start ending lonel i ness. yes

A good first step to break out of feeling lonely is . . .
TAKE BACK YOUR POWER to make things happen!. . .
Reach out and find new friends in real-life. 

LEARN HOW TO MAKE NEW FRIENDS 
IN THE 3 FUN PODCASTS BELOW.
Podcast 1 starts out silly about using a spreadsheet, but gets very interesting and covers "How to have find and keep friendships". Lots of great ideas, suggestions, and insights are provided that are proven to work. 
Click on the
 [Minute Listen] blue bar on the web pages. 

Each podcast wraps up with "take-aways".  I guarantee you will learn surprising new things that will help you in real-life.

Poodcast 1 - Accept The Awkwardness: How To Make Friends smiley laughcooland keep them
enlightened 
https://www.npr.org/2019/08/15/751479810/make-new-friends-and-keep-the-old

Podcast 2 - When Friendships Change, How To Cope surprise
https://www.npr.org/2019/08/19/752412010/when-friendship-changes-how-to-cope

Podcast 3 - Men Can Have Better Friendships. Here's How smileylaughcool (not just for guys!)
https://www.npr.org/2019/08/19/752412752/men-can-have-better-friendships-heres-how






STUCK BECAUSE LONELY
WHAT IS LONELINESS?
Loneliness is the highly subjective feeling one gets when one lacks meaningful relationships.  One needs to make sure they feel known, understood, connected, and supported to solve being lonely.

HOW LONELY ARE YOU COMPARED TO OTHER PEOPLE?
Take this 3 minute quiz and see
https://psychcentral.com/cgi-bin/loneliness-quiz.cgi
(based Russell "UCLA Loneliness Scale" v3)

WHY ARE PEOPLE LONELIER NOW?
1) habitual exposure to social media
2) habitual surfing the internet
3) habitual use of smart phones
4) habitual texting instead of having voice calls
5) habitual hanging-out with other lonely people on-line
6) habitual avoiding real-life activities and contacts

HOW TO GET UNSTUCK?
Realize what is going on... 
Become very aware that those harmful habits perpetuate a painful viscious cycle.  Put new habits and routines in place that make your life better.  Feel good by solving the problem.

HOW TO END LONELINESS THE EASY WAY?
One simple way is by joining-in on near-by regular weekly group activities.  Find activities in categories you already enjoy doing on your own.  Then you'll start finding new friends who share your interests.  You'll have a nice, friendly social network. All kinds of great opportunities can then happen.

BONUS FACT - Hang out with happy people and you'll be happier.  Happiness is contagious.  So find people that do things that make you happy and do things with them regularly.  Avoid the opposite situation.






OTHER REASONS YOU MIGHT BE STUCK. . . 
Stuck because not reaching out for help.
Stuck in your comfort zone.
Stuck due to maladaptive coping mechanisms.
Stuck due to self-sabotage.
Stuck due to wanting the world to be different.
Stuck due to wrong assumptions.
Stuck due to wrong understanding of reality or people.
Stuck due to self-imposed limitations.
Stuck due to acting without thinking.
Stuck due to not asking the right questions.
Stuck due to not getting other points of view.
Stuck due to making decisions using only emotion or logic.
Stuck due to bad or no long-term planning.
Stuck due to wrong goals or wrong motivation.
Stuck due to poor self-discipline. 
Stuck due to inexperience.
All of these can be overcome after you identify them.






STUCK: NEED GOOD SELF-CARE
Self-care means constantly protecting one’s mental, emotional, and physical health.

DO YOU PROPERLY. . .  eat, rest, sleep, breath, stay active, think/reflect, self-talk, manage emotions, manage priorities, stay-empowered, socialize, and get support when needed?

If not, you may be stuck because your life needs proper attention.

TRY BEING PROACTIVE 
and keep things in control rather than being passive and only react after things get far out of control.






STUCK DRIFTING - NOT ON A "GROWTH PATH"
GOING IN CIRCLES OR NOWHERE OR WRONG WAY.


REMEMBER:
To grow daily,
get on a growth path.


TRY USING THE 7CUPS "GROWTH PATH" TOOLS
https://www.7cups.com/path/


LEARN HOW TO CREATE GOOD
"TINY HABITS" EASILY!!! 
Click link below for podcast:

https://www.npr.org/2020/02/25/809256398/tiny-habits-are-the-key-to-behavioral-change

TRY USING 7CUPS NONI CHATBOT SPECIAL MENU FOR
learning Self-Care, Setting Goals, Setting Reminders.






GETTING UNSTUCK RESOURCES

7Cups Getting Unstuck Self-Help Guide / Training:
https://www.7cups.com/getting-unstuck/

7Cups Mindfulness Exercises For Better Control:
https://www.7cups.com/exercises/mindfulness/

7Cups Self-Help Guides / Training (full list):
https://www.7cups.com/supportGuides/selfHelpGuides.php


7 Cups for the Searching Soul E-Book as a free 7Cups Self-Help Guide
or free at Amazon.com and read immediately in Kindle Cloud Reader 





ARE YOU READY TO CHANGE?
"Ultimately, people change when they are ready to change. Our job as Listeners is to basically show care, support, listen, and nurture that motivation to change. Simply caring will help awaken or help uncover the strength to start the change process."

 
Number of Ratings: 15
Number of Reviews: 15
Listens to Over 18
Languages English
Listener Since Oct 1, 2019
Last Active in last week
Progress Path Step 235
Cheers 11,936
People Helped 56
Chats 208
Group Support Chats 0
Listener Group Chats 0
Forum Posts 76
Forum Upvotes 141
Feedback & Reviews
7motivation was a very good listener and while I told them my problem, they brought up questions that made me think. It was very helpful to chat with this person. Thank you.
Asks the right questions that I didn't even know needed answers
Helped me find a new perspective on a long term issue.
A chat that was desperately needed before I lost control. Having someone to talk to is half the battle and you helped me see that. Thanks
Wasn't able to help me but was kind & cordial about it & was able to direct me to someone who was, efficient.
Helped simplify everything. Very patient
very kind and thoughtful!
made good questions
7motivation is a very caring listener and knowledgeable about how lifestyle effects our moods. Thanks! Reccomended
very kind listener, chatted twice, thanks!
Great chat, thanks so much
Very easy to open up to and extremely helpful and knowledgeable.
Very nice and helpful
Excellent! I highly recommend this listener
Thanks for letting me just let my thoughts out via text
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