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START GETTING UNSTUCK

AND START FEELING BETTER! 

LEARN HOW... 

Hi, below are tips on Getting Unstuck.


If your main problem is procrastination or perfectionism or habits,

then listen to these podcasts for quick solutions:

Stephen Guise Interview on procrastination & perfectionism: http://nicertube.com/4wdq22

Stephen Guise Interview on

Mini Habits 
http://nicertube.com/sbkfdu



Otherwise please search below

to make progress in your situation. 

The answer you are looking for may be in the many "Getting Unstuck" topics covered below.

Then please try to figure out "what you should do yourself to get unstuck" from what you find.

If you don't find what you want, then try doing a really good Google Search or Bing Search.  

Just go to Google.com or Bing.com and type in your situation in the Search box or something like "How to ____".  

Then you will get the top answers that other people selected in similar situations.

Browse through the Search results until you find one that seems very close to your situation.  

Then open it in a new window and see what it says.

Repeat with other useful search results.

After you get good at Google or Bing Searching, you'll find you can find answers and ideas for your situation quickly.

You can even click on the Images link or the Videos link at the top of the Search results page and see images and videos for your situation. That might help you quicker. Bing.com is better for Video Searches because Bing lets you preview the videos without opening them.  Just hover your cursor over the video. If it then says Preview, then you can click on the speaker X button there and watch and hear the preview.

If you do a really really good Google or Bing Search and you're still stuck, then... 

you can send me a detailed message.  

Explain your situation and what you've tried and how you're still stuck.  

Then I'll look at it and see if I can help find what you're looking for.  

If I cover your topic, I'll send you the best resource link or two I know of for your generic situation.

Sorry but I don't have time to do any chats now or in the foreseeable future due to personal reasons. 

If you mainly just want to chat, then please search for a Listener who is available.


At 7Cups, you always decide what's right for you.

Listeners are only here to support you to find your own solutions, not provide unequivocal advice.


If you ask me for advice, my only advice is:  Don't take advice from strangers! 






CATEGORIES I COVER
If you want help please note 
I only cover the topics on the Categories list below. 

Anything else is outside my scope and/or comfort-zone so I will refer you to someone appropriate.

Particularly if you have/had depression and/or lost all interests, lost all passion in life, lost all meaning in life, chronic severe problems, then please use the Browse Listeners Advance Search Link below and find someone who can help you who has Lived Experience and is willing to provide Long Term Support. https://www.7cups.com/BrowseListeners/%3Fbadge%3D%26find%3Dmotivation%26sort%3Dcheers%26ageGroup%3D%26listType%3Dlistener%26country%3D%26category%3D3%26gender%3D%26language%3D%26verifiedlistener%3Don%26acceptSponsees%3Don%26livedExperience%3Don


HERE ARE THE CATEGORIES I COVER
Creating Good Habits & Routines - Stephen Guise Interview on Mini Habits http://nicertube.com/sbkfdu
(also see Tiny Habits section below for Tiny Habits method)

Understanding Good & Bad Motivations

Making Tiny Easy Changes

Getting on an Easy Steady Growth Path

Essentialism

Minimalism

Mindfulness (instead of Mindlessness)

Growth Mindset, and other Getting Unstuck Mindsets

also. . .

Breakups

Exercise Motivation (I have great Tiny Habit exercise insights and resources)

Family Stress

Forgiveness

General Mental Health

Getting Unstuck

Loneliness

Managing Emotions

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder

Perfectionism & also...

Procrastination - Stephen Guise Interview here for quick solutions: http://nicertube.com/4wdq22

Relationship Stress

Self-Esteem

Sleeping Well

Social Anxiety

Weight Management

Work Stress

If I don't cover your topic, please use the Browse Listeners page to find someone just right for your needs.
https://www.7cups.com/BrowseListeners/





GETTING UNSTUCK TOPICS AND IDEAS ARE PROVIDED BELOW

Below are some strategies used to get unstuck. 

The most basic is way to get unstuck

is explained in this simple diagram

https://www.uh.edu/caps/resources/covid-19/_images/decision-tree.jpg





GET UNSTUCK FROM DEFAULT ROLES
Are you often stuck in the role of Situation Victim who needs help or can't be helped?


Are you often stuck in the role of the Rescuer of someone who needs help?


Are you often stuck in the role of wanting to be the Domineering person or the Meany or the Bully or even a 7CupsTroll to feel better or to "teach" someone a lesson? 


Would you like insights on why people often keep FALLING into certain roles and get [ stuck ] there?


You can understand those default roles, why people fall into them, how to get out of them, and how to take on much better alternative roles.


HERE'S AN INSIGHTFUL VIDEO LINK...

to help you understand why people get [ stuck ] in a

Drama 
Triangle

and how to get out and stay out.

(This guy explains how to get unstuck really really well):

http://nicertube.com/q80ns0
FYI - NO DRAGONS WERE HARMED IN THE VIDEO! 






REGAINING CONTROL
Start shifting into the role of a person who takes back their power. Start fixing things and as a result start feeling better and regain momentum and feel good right away. Start by taking baby steps. Think: What do I want? and How do I think I can get it?  Make small improvements so it's easy and motivating and feels rewarding. You can make good p.r.o.g.r.e.s.s when you start looking for little solutions and keep experimenting until soon you make good things happen. 






REMEMBER:  
Making Progress

Is the Best Motivator

- Even Small Easy Progress -






Right now. . . 

You can take a little action,

make a little progress,

and that will feel good.


Stephen Guise Interviews here for quick solutions: 
If your main problem is procrastination or perfectionism or habits,

then listen to these podcast for quick solutions:

Stephen Guise Interview on procrastination & perfectionism: http://nicertube.com/4wdq22

Stephen Guise Interview on Mini Habits 
http://nicertube.com/sbkfdu







When you're tempted

to make excuses, remember. . .



Making a little progress

feels better. 




If your main problem is procrastination or perfectionism or habits,

then listen to these podcasts for quick solutions:

Stephen Guise Interview on procrastination & perfectionism: http://nicertube.com/4wdq22

Stephen Guise Interview on Mini Habits 
http://nicertube.com/sbkfdu





Ask yourself really good, insightful questions.

That's usually half the answer.

You can get at the key issues that way.   





After hearing yourself think-things-out, it all becomes much clearer and you get a much better big picture of the hidden feelings and reasons that have been driving you.  


You can then decide what it all means and how it helps you make changes because you'll have a better understanding of what you think is going on from your new enhanced point of view.





Find the root cause of your problems.


Figure out possible "corrective actions". 




See the BIG picture [.


Find that "Ahha!" insight you've been looking for.





STUCK AND AFRAID OR ASHAMED
Remember:
Whenever you're feeling [ stuck ] and in BIG trouble,
always reach out   - and keep reaching out -

until you find the right person to talk to. 

It's the essential first step.

You can stop keeping everything bottled-up inside you. You can stop fear or shame or despair or worry from taking over  your life like a bad habit in a vicious cycle.  Break out of it now! Talking is the  key first step to start finding healthy solutions just right for you.







OVERCOMING FEAR AND INACTION

Inaction breeds doubt and fear.

Action breeds confidence

and courage.








IF YOU WANT TO CONQUER FEAR...

Don't sit at home

and think about it.

Go out and get busy



(Dale Carnegie)







ACTION IS THE KEY.

Action conquers fear.









ACTION CREATES MOMENTUM

and momentum creates motivation.



So... ACTION CREATES MOTIVATION!



START TAKING ACTION.

Motivation will follow.








OVERCOME FEAR OF MAKING A MISTAKE

Take the shame and fear out of making mistakes.


Get unstuck by taking a reasonable risk to make progress.  


Realize with each action you'll gain knowledge, new ideas, resilience, courage, self-understanding, and 
quicker results.







STUCK IN BAD ROUTINES DUE TO THE MIND

The mind by default wants to keep you safe and thinks change is bad. So it makes you feel uncomfortable if you want to change.


That can make it hard for some to change for the better.


SO RECOGNIZE YOUR MIND'S INGRAINED RESISTANCE. . .

and make changes happen anyway.


TAKE ACTION REPEATEDLY TO OVERCOME INNER RESISTANCE TO CHANGE.  

Then soon, the mind will become accustomed to the new normal for you. This applies for new habits, new routines, new self-image, and new ways of thinking.


NOTICE WHEN YOU ARE FALLING BACK INTO AN OLD "RUT".  

Then take corrective action and go into your new mode of behaving or thinking or doing things because it's the new you now.








STUCK IN BAD ROUTINES BECAUSE YOU'RE

MAKING IT TOO EASY TO DO BAD THINGS


AND MAKING IT TOO HARD TO DO GOOD THINGS. . .

Try to make it very hard to do bad things and make it very easy to do good things.


For example, set up your environment so it's very convenient to do good things and very inconvenient to do bad things.


Be with people that behave like you want to behave.

Avoid people who don't behave like you want to behave.









USE MOTIVATIONAL SELF-TALK

out-loud to get yourself going.  









THINK THINGS OUT-LOUD

and tell yourself what to do. 


It's proven to work wonders!









CREATE GOOD DAILY ROUTINES

to create automatic motivation!



THEN PROGRESS HAPPENS DAILY

and you'll feel better more and more.








FOCUS ON WHAT YOU CAN CONTROL.


Take small easy s.t.e.p.s and get momentum.

Stephen Guise Interviews here for quick solutions: 

Stephen Guise Interview on procrastination & perfectionism: http://nicertube.com/4wdq22

Stephen Guise Interview on Mini Habits 
http://nicertube.com/sbkfdu








REMEMBER rumination and worry DO NOT work.







PROBLEM SOLVE  rather than worry.


HAPPINESS  comes from solving problems. 








STUCK IN DENIAL OR CAN'T SEE MISTAKE

If you're still stuck, it might be because you made a mistake... 

that your ego is unwilling to let you admit and that could be causing you great emotional dissonance.  


Think about the possibility you made a mistake and figure out if it's true.


If yes, admit it, forgive youself, learn from it, and that will set you free from your resistance.


Then you can stop ignoring your mistake and either fix it if possible or accept you have to live with it and take alternative action.







STUCK DUE TO PERFECTIONISM

Stephen Guise Interview here for quick solutions: http://nicertube.com/4wdq22


PERFECTIONISM IS COMMON IN PEOPLE WHO. . .

- overthink habitually, obsessively

- are afraid of making a mistake

- are "Maximizers" and want to get

the very most or best out of every situation.


SO PERFECTIONISTS GET STUCK IN VICIOUS CYCLES. . .

- procrastinate to find the best solution

- gather too much data

- overthink then can't make a good decision when needed

- second-guess their decisions so are never happy long 

- set unachieveable goals


THE SOLUTION IS TO BECOME A "SATISFICER" INSTEAD. . .  


SATISFICERS

- use a much simpler, easier approach to decision making

- are better at making good decisions

- are much happier and successful


Here is a resource to learn more and get unstuck from Perfectionism:

https://www.psychologistworld.com/cognitive/maximizers-satisficers-decision-making






STUCK IN A PROCRASTINATION "VICIOUS CYCLE"

Stephen Guise Interview here for quick solutions: http://nicertube.com/4wdq22


Do you procrastinate to regulate your

negative emotions about an unpleasant task?


Putting it off feels good for a while and that

temporarily solves the negative emotions.


But that doesn't solve the problem

and actually it makes it worse.


Now you have less time to do the task

so you end up worrying about it more and more.


And you'll end up doing the task worse

than someone who didn't procrastinate

because you gave yourself less time to do it.


So why is it you procrastinated and they didn't?


Your problem is how you dealt with 

your reaction to your complex emotions about the task.


The other person dealt with their emotions first and

that avoided falling into the vicious procrastination cycle.


Instead, they focused on finding an easy first step to get going.

After that it was easier for them to do the next steps.


Solution: Learn to constructively manage your complex negative emotions about the task.


See
 https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-adaptive-mind/201901/how-overcome-procrastination-starting-now



REMEMBER THE KEY IS. . .

Decide "in advance" to always
Just Get Started.


Decide to just pick some very easy part to do for now. 


Just focus on that easy little bit until it's done.    


Then celebrate and feel good about it.


The more progress you make, the better you will feel.


Keep doing it, easy little bit-by-bit, until you are done.

Repeat The Above

Whenever Stuck.


For quick solutions...
Stephen Guise Interview on procrastination & perfectionism: http://nicertube.com/4wdq22

Stephen Guise Interview on Mini Habits 
http://nicertube.com/sbkfdu






MAKING GOOD FRIENDS 
If you want make new friends, try these fun-to-listen-to podcasts:
Start ending lonel i ness. 


A good first step to break out of feeling lonely is . . .

TAKE BACK YOUR POWER to make things happen!. . .

Reach out and find new friends in real-life. 


LEARN HOW TO MAKE NEW FRIENDS 

IN THE 3 FUN PODCASTS BELOW.

Podcast 1 starts out silly about using a spreadsheet, but gets very interesting and covers "How to have find and keep friendships". Lots of great ideas, suggestions, and insights are provided that are proven to work. 

Click on the
 [Minute Listen] blue bar on the web pages. 


Each podcast wraps up with "take-aways".  I guarantee you will learn surprising new things that will help you in real-life.


Poodcast 1 - Accept The Awkwardness: How To Make Friends  and keep them
 
https://www.npr.org/2019/08/15/751479810/make-new-friends-and-keep-the-old

Podcast 2 - When Friendships Change, How To Cope 
https://www.npr.org/2019/08/19/752412010/when-friendship-changes-how-to-cope

Podcast 3 - Men Can Have Better Friendships. Here's How  (not just for guys!)
https://www.npr.org/2019/08/19/752412752/men-can-have-better-friendships-heres-how






STUCK BECAUSE LONELY
WHAT IS LONELINESS?

Loneliness is the highly subjective feeling one gets when one lacks meaningful relationships.  One needs to make sure they feel known, understood, connected, and supported to solve being lonely.


HOW LONELY ARE YOU COMPARED TO OTHER PEOPLE?

Take this 3 minute quiz and see
https://psychcentral.com/cgi-bin/loneliness-quiz.cgi

(based Russell "UCLA Loneliness Scale" v3)


WHY ARE PEOPLE LONELIER NOW?

1) habitual exposure to social media

2) habitual surfing the internet

3) habitual use of smart phones

4) habitual texting instead of having voice calls

5) habitual hanging-out with other lonely people on-line

6) habitual avoiding real-life activities and contacts


HOW TO GET UNSTUCK?

Realize what is going on... 

Become very aware that those harmful habits perpetuate a painful viscious cycle.  Put new habits and routines in place that make your life better.  Feel good by solving the problem.


HOW TO END LONELINESS THE EASY WAY?

One simple way is by joining-in on near-by regular weekly group activities.  Find activities in categories you already enjoy doing on your own.  Then you'll start finding new friends who share your interests.  You'll have a nice, friendly social network. All kinds of great opportunities can then happen.


BONUS FACT - Hang out with happy people and you'll be happier.  Happiness is contagious.  So find people that do things that make you happy and do things with them regularly.  Avoid the opposite situation.






OTHER REASONS YOU MIGHT BE STUCK. . . 

Stuck because not reaching out for help.

Stuck in your comfort zone.

Stuck due to maladaptive coping mechanisms.

Stuck due to self-sabotage.

Stuck due to wanting the world to be different.

Stuck due to wrong assumptions.

Stuck due to wrong understanding of reality or people.

Stuck due to self-imposed limitations.

Stuck due to acting without thinking.

Stuck due to not asking the right questions.

Stuck due to not getting other points of view.

Stuck due to making decisions using only emotion or logic.

Stuck due to bad or no long-term planning.

Stuck due to wrong goals or wrong motivation.

Stuck due to poor self-discipline. 

Stuck due to inexperience.

All of these can be overcome after you identify them.






STUCK: NEED GOOD SELF-CARE
Self-care means constantly protecting one’s mental, emotional, and physical health.


DO YOU PROPERLY. . .  eat, rest, sleep, breath, stay active, think/reflect, self-talk, manage emotions, manage priorities, stay-empowered, socialize, and get support when needed?


If not, you may be stuck because your life needs proper attention.


TRY BEING PROACTIVE 

and keep things in control rather than being passive and only react after things get far out of control.






STUCK DRIFTING - NOT ON A "GROWTH PATH"

GOING IN CIRCLES OR NOWHERE OR WRONG WAY.


REMEMBER:

To grow daily,

get on a growth path.


TRY USING THE 7CUPS "GROWTH PATH" TOOLS
https://www.7cups.com/path/


LEARN HOW TO CREATE GOOD
"TINY HABITS" EASILY!!! 

Click link below for tiny podcast.

Click [12-Minute Listen] blue bar button on the web page below to play podcast. 
https://www.npr.org/2020/02/25/809256398/tiny-habits-are-the-key-to-behavioral-change

If you want to learn Tiny Habits,
then there's an online free 5 day program at TINYHABITS . COM / JOIN  that has been run for many years (no obligation or spam, just fun and growth). It’s a semi-automated program run by a somewhat goofy but brilliant Prof. BJ Fogg who created Stanford University's Behavior Design Lab. It’s all done with a few very short web videos on day 1, then 1 short email per day for 5 days so your Tiny Habits Coach can see how you are doing and help you if needed. After 5 days, you'll have learned how to create TINY HABITS!!!  It’s so easy and simple. It’s all free and fun and just takes 1 hour total to do. Learn how to do what you WANT to do and feel SUCCESSFUL. Those are Prof. BJ Fogg’s goals for everyone.  

LEARN HOW TO CREATE

"
MINI HABITS" HERE: 

"MINI HABITS" IS A DIFFERENT APPROACH TO SMALL HABITS.

"MINI HABITS" IS SIMPLER & PERHAPS EVEN BETTER FOR SOME PEOPLE WHO NEED FLEXABILITY AND ALSO CARE ABOUT UNDERSTANDING "WHY".

Stephen Guise Interview on Mini Habits http://nicertube.com/sbkfdu

TRY USING 7CUPS NONI CHATBOT SPECIAL MENU FOR
learning Self-Care, Setting Goals, Setting Reminders.






GETTING UNSTUCK RESOURCES


7Cups Getting Unstuck Self-Help Guide / Training:
https://www.7cups.com/getting-unstuck/


7Cups Mindfulness Exercises For Better Control:
https://www.7cups.com/exercises/mindfulness/


7Cups Self-Help Guides / Training (full list):
https://www.7cups.com/supportGuides/selfHelpGuides.php


7 Cups for the Searching Soul E-Book as a free 7Cups Self-Help Guide
or free at Amazon.com and read immediately in Kindle Cloud Reader 





ARE YOU READY TO CHANGE?

"Ultimately, people change when they are ready to change. Our job as Listeners is to basically show care, support, listen, and nurture that motivation to change. Simply caring will help awaken or help uncover the strength to start the change process."


Number of Ratings: 18
Number of Reviews: 15
Listens to Over 18
Languages English
Listener Since Oct 1, 2019
Last Active in last week
Progress Path Step 1,173
Cheers 16,619
People Helped 57
Chats 209
Group Support Chats 0
Listener Group Chats 0
Forum Posts 833
Forum Upvotes 827
Growth Path Timeline
Feedback & Reviews
7motivation was a very good listener and while I told them my problem, they brought up questions that made me think. It was very helpful to chat with this person. Thank you.
Asks the right questions that I didn't even know needed answers
Helped me find a new perspective on a long term issue.
A chat that was desperately needed before I lost control. Having someone to talk to is half the battle and you helped me see that. Thanks
Wasn't able to help me but was kind & cordial about it & was able to direct me to someone who was, efficient.
Helped simplify everything. Very patient
very kind and thoughtful!
made good questions
7motivation is a very caring listener and knowledgeable about how lifestyle effects our moods. Thanks! Reccomended
very kind listener, chatted twice, thanks!
Great chat, thanks so much
Very easy to open up to and extremely helpful and knowledgeable.
Very nice and helpful
Excellent! I highly recommend this listener
Thanks for letting me just let my thoughts out via text
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