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AlexPyatetsky |
Listener - Novice 3

Listener Rating     

Hi, my name is Alex. I came to the US as a refugee when I was 2.5. Growing up, I always felt "other." I could never find my place amongst other people. As I grew up, this otherness became a strength and I funneled my creative abilities into entrepreneurship.


By 25, I'd created 2 companies with nearly 100 people working for them, millions of dollars in revenues, etc. And on paper, it all looked great. But I'd been carrying a dark secret for a long time. And it was getting worse.


I'd always felt like I had to prove myself. To my childhood bullies. To my unrequited teenage crush. To my disapproving immigrant family.


I was always fighting something. Most of all, myself. My perception of life was that I was dealt an awful hand and by sheer force of will, I was going to prove everyone wrong and become a superhuman prototype of "mind over matter." While this fighter-mentality fueled my initial success, once I was there, I was lost.


What was I doing? Who was I doing it for? And why did everything feel so bad?


I woke up one morning, and someone had died. And that person was me.


I entered a deep, 6-month depression. I wanted nothing. Everything felt dead. And I felt tired and broken.


To my immense luck, I'd been working with a phenomenal coach and he was able to guide me through this rough time. Without him, I think the depression would have lasted twice as long. And 1.5 years after getting back on my feet, I brought my first company to a successful acquisition.


I moved forward with my life, but I was still the subject of severe, unsolicited ups and downs. My mind's drama was relentless. And sometimes, it would take me very high, where I'd futilely try to stay. And other times, it would take me very low, where I'd confront my demons all over again.


Until it stopped.


At the age of 28, I experienced a resurgence of severe anxiety attacks. I was living in California, by the beach. The sun would shine on my face every day, while my east coast friends moaned about their frigid winters. But my mind continued to betray me. I hated that everything was so obviously good, but I still felt so messed up.


Around this time, I heard a podcast that changed my life. A man who'd developed obsessive fantasies about stabbing his wife was able to overcome his suicidal depression with 1 simple learning - "you are not your thoughts." The things going on in your mind, at least most of them, aren't of your choosing. They're just occurrences and you observe them. And if you don't identify with your thoughts, you can be free of their weight.


I had a degree in philosophy. All my self worth came from my intellectual abilities. I was an outspoken rational atheist. I'd never once considered that my own obsession with my thoughts may be the problem itself.


I knew I had to learn to disassociate from my thoughts to move forward in life.


I discovered meditation from Tim Ferris and other entrepreneurs. I dove in immediately. And I dove, and I dove. The relief was immediate, but it took a while to break through. Then, at one moment, I was no longer my thoughts. I knew it the same way I new my hands were flesh and the sky was blue. It had become my reality. A few more weeks, another breakthrough - I am not my feelings.


I am not my body...


This is the point where any self respecting rationalist signs off and says "hate this hippy stuff. I'm out, Deepak." But I'm not religious or dogmatic about these ideas. All I know is that they have worked for me and thousands of others. I'm not an enlightened being, but I do experience life differently after these breakthroughs. I still experience negative feelings. But I do not become my negative feelings. And I never for a second doubt whether my negative feelings are me.


In short - I spent 28 years preparing to live. And then I started living.


Today, I continue to be a highly active entrepreneur and I coach other entrepreneurs (professionally), as my coach did with me. I'm grateful and I value people. I think everyone is capable of peace and I hope they experience it.


I have extensive experience in NLP, meditation/mindfulness and a number of other disciplines and teachings that I share with the people I work with. I'm still learning and growing, and if I can help you along the way, I'll be happy to.


-AP

Number of Ratings: 2
Number of Reviews: 1
Listens to Over 18
Languages English, Russian
Listener Since Nov 1, 2015
Last Active over 6 months ago
Gender Male
Progress Path Step 2
Cheers 1,107
People Helped 3
Chats 23
Group Support Chats 0
Listener Group Chats 0
Forum Posts 0
Forum Upvotes 0
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He provided a sympathetic ear and some helpful links, and seems a nice fella.
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