www.herestohope.org
I was molested as child, i don't know how many years it went on but i know it stopped at 14... i don't remember most of it.... well, throughout childhood, i didn't have much of support, yes my dad loved me but he never really showed it... and it's very difficult as child to understand that.

My mother never loved me, she was both physically and emotionally abusive, the thing i remember most from my childhood is my mother telling me she never wanted me and i am biggest mistake of her life.

Didn't really had friend in school, but i thought i made a best friend and she remained with me for three years, but as soon as school got over, she kinda drifted apart, guess i was only useful because of resources and money :(

College life turned to worse, lived alone for 3 years, didn't make any close friends, yes i made few v.good friends but not so close that i can share my demons with them.

Moved to a new university, i found a few good friends here but most of them are just phoney, so don't know who to trust, and i know there are some who i can trust but they are too young and i don't want to burden them with my demons.

I started self harming when i was 14-15.... and then stopped when one day i cut too deep, i guess i got scared.

This past june-july, all the bad memories started to bombard me and i am depressed, anxious and i am normal only when i am on auto pilot, i guess i stop feeling at all then.... started cutting again and i guess, i am not much interested in life.... I used to be this sporty person but now i am fat, i hate my body, i hate myself for becoming this and my so called friends just make fun of myself because i sleep too much because i walk to slow... but how do i make them understand that i am just very very tired.