Alpaca24 Member Profile

...See more It's holiday season again. I've never really liked holiday season because it keeps reminding me of how I don't have the happy family to live it to the fullest. My parents are still married but i hardly ever see them do anything together, or talk to each other, or even eat dinner at same time. I don't have any siblings and all the relatives I have just have their own lives to focus on. I don't have a lot of friends either and the couple I do are either not as responsive to make plans over the weekend or already have plans with their significant others. I just feel really lonely sometimes and I can't lean on or trust anyone. I'm not sure how long this has been going on but honestly, few weeks ago I said screw this and took myself out to this bar I've been to a couple times. It just didn't seem like a bad idea to go by myself and people watch on a weekend. Funny thing is, I started to enjoy it after the second time. Two of the people who work there recognize me too now and they talk to me when I'm there. It's gotten to a point where I'm looking forward to the weekends now just so I can go there again and feel like I'm home. I'm still a lonely person but at least little things like that add meaning to my life and help me keep going. I just don't know how long I have until the next episode of depressive thoughts...

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