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Alpaca24
1 1,480 M Little Steps 5
PathStep 12 Compassion hearts41 Forum posts3 Forum upvotes7 Current upvotes7 Age GroupAdult Last activeJuly, 2025 Member sinceMarch 14, 2022
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Anxiety is winning.
Anxiety Support / by Alpaca24
Last post
 February 8th, 2025
...See more I've had stress and anxiety my whole life, but recently it's been worse. Few months ago (last October) my mental health hit rock bottom basically. I almost ODd, and then got diagnosed with major depressive disorder with severe anxiety. I know what my major triggers are and I know depression pokes its head only when I can't keep my anxiety under control. I was doing so good up until this week. I don't know what happened but something triggered my anxiety and now the past memories are hunting me, and I can't stop any of it. It's too loud and chaotic in my head for me to calm down and I've been crying for the most part since yesterday. I was doing so good and now it feels like I'm back to the bottom. Anxiety is in control of my mind and I don't know how to stop it. How do I stop it?
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Holiday Season
Depression Support / by Alpaca24
Last post
 December 6th, 2022
...See more It's holiday season again. I've never really liked holiday season because it keeps reminding me of how I don't have the happy family to live it to the fullest. My parents are still married but i hardly ever see them do anything together, or talk to each other, or even eat dinner at same time. I don't have any siblings and all the relatives I have just have their own lives to focus on. I don't have a lot of friends either and the couple I do are either not as responsive to make plans over the weekend or already have plans with their significant others. I just feel really lonely sometimes and I can't lean on or trust anyone. I'm not sure how long this has been going on but honestly, few weeks ago I said screw this and took myself out to this bar I've been to a couple times. It just didn't seem like a bad idea to go by myself and people watch on a weekend. Funny thing is, I started to enjoy it after the second time. Two of the people who work there recognize me too now and they talk to me when I'm there. It's gotten to a point where I'm looking forward to the weekends now just so I can go there again and feel like I'm home. I'm still a lonely person but at least little things like that add meaning to my life and help me keep going. I just don't know how long I have until the next episode of depressive thoughts...
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