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Successfully reconnecting with an old friend?

Relationship Stress / by AngelGirl

September 11th, 2020

...See more Quarentine had me reaching out to friends and family that I had lost touch with. One friend has been constantly on my mind but I'm anxious to reach out. This girl's mom was best friends with my older cousin, so we grew up together. We went to the same school up until 2nd or 3rd grade but even when she moved we remained close. We got to see each other for our birthdays and got together a few times a year. She was truly my best friend, I don't think we ever fought and no matter how much time passed we'd go right back to how we were. As we got older we started to not see each other as much. We were at each others 13th birthday parties and would email back and forth but we lost contact shortly after we got to high school. Her family are customers at my family's business and things seemed a bit strained when they'd be there, but as far as I know we simply drifted apart. We're 24 now so we haven't been close in about 10 years. She's engaged and lives in another state, she has a completely new life. I've always regretted that we drifted apart and constantly think about reaching out but I am reluctant. I feel like I only have one shot to try to reconnect, you know? I often psych myself out telling myself that if she wanted to be friends again, she'd say something. In the end it was me reaching out to her so it made me feel like maybe she didn't want to be friends anymore. But then I also tell myself maybe she's waiting to hear from me? I know that all I can to is try and if things work out, great. If not, nothing changes, no big deal. But I just don't want to mess this up. If I'm going to reach out, I want to make sure that we have a chance at being friends again and follow through on any plans we may make. Should I reach out? Any advice?

Afraid of relationships, how to deal?

Relationship Stress / by AngelGirl

June 3rd, 2019

...See more I have wanted to be in a relationship since I was like 12 years old. At the time it seemed like everyone my age was getting into a relationship, obviously not serious relationships but a relationship nonetheless. I remember asking my parents if I could have a boyfriend and at the time they said I was too young. I had "boyfriends" in elementary school, again nothing serious. It was more of a title at the time, just to say that you had a boyfriend/girlfriend. Through my teens more and more of my peers were getting into relationships and I remained single. Now I am 21 and have never been in a serious relationship. I say I want a relationship, but I am starting to realize that I am afraid. It's not that I haven't been in a relationship because no one is interested in me, I've had some opportunity over the years but I turn them down. I get so nervous that I just shut them down before giving them a chance. - Maybe it's because I'm inexperienced. - Maybe it's because I'm afraid of change. - Maybe it's because I'm afraid to open myself to somebody. I've opened myself up to many people only to later be abandoned by them. - Maybe it's because I believe I am asexual. I crave the kissing, cuddling, hand holding aspects of a relationship along with the friendship, but I have no desire to be intimate with anyone. Sex doesn't interest me. Yet I feel like it's so expected in a relationship and I don't know how to deal with that. - Maybe it's because of my parents. I'm an only child and was cyber schooled through middle and high school. I don't want to say I'm immature but I do feel that I may have been babied. Talking about things like being a relationship, having kids, moving out feels strange to talk about with them. Probably because we never really talked about these things until more recently. - Maybe it's because I have lingering feelings for someone else. When I started college in 2014 I met a guy who I really clicked with, I could envision a future with him. Looking back I think he liked me too but neither of us did anything about it. He transferred schools at the end of the year and we've lost contact since. Despite this, part of me still hopes to end up together. Loneliness is safer. It's easier to lie or blow off guys so they leave me alone and I don't have to deal with it all. But I don't want to be alone, certainly not forever. And now it's getting to the point where people are asking when I'm going to get a boyfriend or try to set me up with people. This is all stemming from a guy asking me out. He's the son of my parent's friend. We were at the same party at the end of the summer. I could tell he was checking me out, and he immediately added me on Facebook and Instagram. Even though we've never really spoken to each other, he sent me a message asking me out a couple days ago. He's cute, probably out of my league, and seems very nice. I want to tell myself to give him a shot. But instead I started panicking. I started thinking of what excuse I could give. Not wanting to lie, I deleted the message and plan to act like I never received it. What is wrong with me? How do I get over my fear? I can't continue to do this or I'm going to wind up alone forever. I'm sorry this is so long. If you read it all thank you.

What is wrong with me? How do you make friends as an adult?

Depression Support / by AngelGirl

October 15th, 2017

...See more I feel like there is something wrong with me. I literally have no one. I have a very large family who I was always very close with. Many cousins that I would hang out with often. Now my extended family are giving my parents and I the cold shoulder over an issue from 3 years ago. I went to a public elementary school but was cyber schooled through middle and high school. I slowly lost touch with all of my friends from elementary school no matter how hard I tried. I'd reach out and get no response so I eventually gave up. I joined Girl Scouts and became friends with some of the girls there but we didn't seem to be friends outside of the troop and when it disbanded I lost contact with them too. When I started college I had hoped to start fresh and make new friends. However, I've found that (at least at community college) you are only friends with your peers for the semester. Anyone I befriended in class I lost touch with as soon as the class ended. Clubs are limited at my school and nothing really interested me but I was invited to join the honor society. They seemed like a nice group of people but I found it to be like a clique. The students who were already members were not very welcoming and then ended up changing the meeting time that didn't work with my schedule. I've known the 2 girls who live on my street for 10 years. We were best friends until they stopped talking to me as much. Then one moved and the other is about to go to school on the other side of the state, and she never wants to hang out much anyways. I have one person who I talk to on a semi-regular basis but things with her are complicated. I don't go anywhere unless it's with my parents and then it's usually interacting with their friends, not people my age. I don't talk to anyone on any kind of regular basis. I have no one that I would really consider my friend let alone my best friend, just acquaintances. I just turned 21 and I'm sick of being lonely all the time. If I had one person I think I would be much happier. How do you make friends as an adult? I find it so much harder to make friends now that I'm in charge of making my friends, you know? I think the fact that I have been abandoned/rejected by so many people for so many years has really messed with any kind of confidence I had. I would love to be able to reconnect with old friends and reach out to make new ones, but I get so nervous. I don't want to embaress myself or annoy them if they are not interested. What do I do? I don't want to be so alone anymore.

How do I let off that I'm not interested

Anxiety Support / by AngelGirl

January 7th, 2016

...See more Hello, So I realize this guy from my English class likes me. He used to call my name when I entered the classroom and then we ended up in the same group for peer reviews twice. We were supposed to be reviews papers in groups of three, but he mainly just talked to me the whole time. He added me on Facebook after the the first peer review. On the last day of class as I was walking towards the steps he called me over and started talking to me. He had me put my number in his phone. He texted me later that night and asked for my Snapchat to send me a picture of his dogs. I didn't respond for a couple days. Then he texted me this past Monday. The he Snapchated me twice within the past couple of days which I haven't looked at. I'm avoiding him for 2 reasons. #1 I don't exactly know how to use Snapchat lol. I don't really understand the concept of it. #2 I don't know how to deal with him. He's a nice guy but I'm not interested. I don't want to lead him on and hurt his feelings. The thing I've noticed is I feel like people think I'm flirting with them but I'm just trying to be nice. I can tell he likes me but he hasn't actually come out and said it so I don't feel I can say "I don't like you that way." Another thing I've noticed about myself is that I can tell when someone likes me when I'm not interested, but when I am interested I can't tell. I was interested in someone I met last year but couldn't tell if they liked me, and I unfortunately missed my chance. With this guy I can tell I'm not interested since he doesn't give me the same feeling as the guy I actually have a crush on. With the current guy, I can talk to him pretty easily. He doesn't make me nervous. I even messaged him first once. With the guy I actually have a crush on, he made me nervous and gave me butterflies in my stomach. I just don't feel the same way, you know? Part of me feels like I just needed to vent this out but another part needs advice. I don't feel like I'm the best at socializing. How do I deal with this guy? How do I continue to be friendly and interact with him, but not lead him to believe I like him? Also, if you have any pointers on how to use Snapchat, that'd be great too lol. Thank you! :)

How to get over the break up of someone you were never with?

Relationship Stress / by AngelGirl

October 2nd, 2015

...See more Hi everybody, Last year was my first year in college and I met an amazing guy in my psychology class. He turned around to talk to me almost everyday, we were always talking and teasing each other. Or he'd turn around to look at me whenever our crazy teacher said something off the wall. Before finals he gave me his number but we didn't talk over break. The next semester we took another psychology course with the same professor. We often met up on a bench before class started and talked. We sat right next to each other and he still turned to make funny faces at me. We texted each other sometimes, usually about school work or something that happened in school or to tease each other about the game of Trivia Crack we had going on for a while. On the very last day of school we walked over to the ice cream place across the street, got some ice cream, and took a walk around the park talking about everything. That's when he informed me that he was transferring schools. I only had an hour before I had to go back to class and he had to catch the bus so we parted ways. The last time I saw him was the day of our final. We didn't have much time to talk beforehand and he finished before me so he left. The last thing he texted me was that the test wasn't that bad and I agreed. We said happy birthday to each other on Facebook over the summer and he commented on a status I made about a month ago, but other than that I haven't talked to him in 5 months. I miss him so much. I really liked him. I'd often replay our conversations. When I thought about him I couldn't help but smile and would get butterflies in my stomach, sometimes my heart would even skip a beat. He made me feel happier than I had felt in a long time. I should have told him how I felt when I had the chance but I'm gutless. I couldn't tell how he felt about me and I didn't want to run the risk of rejection. And now I feel like it's too late, I feel like it's too late to even try to have some kind of friendship with him. I have such social anxiety that I wouldn't even know how to reach out to him. I need to get over him. But how do you get over someone you were never with? You would think it would be easy, we haven't had much contact in 5 months. But I'm stuck at the place where we made all our memories. But still, that was then. You would think I would be able to get him out of my mind. But I can't. He's always there. I'm constantly thinking about our old memories. What he's doing right now. A song will remind me of him. I'll see something in a store and wonder if he would like it. I still envision a future like we even had one. Maybe I'm just crazy. A crazy girl with an obsessive crush. Maybe the crush wasn't even real. He's the first boy that I had a crush on in a long time. But did I have real feelings, or did I just fall for the first boy that paid any attention to me. Misconstruing his actions as signs that he liked me. Whatever it was, I can't get over how he made me feel. I feel myself getting progressively sadder without him around. And constant thoughts of him are driving me crazy. And I don't know what to do. Help?

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