AzaleaRose Member Profile

...See more Hello everyone, I’m new to this app and frankly I don’t know what I’m doing. I desperately needed someone to maybe stop and listen. I’ve been fighting with depression for years now, no amount of therapy or pills worked. Not that I haven’t tried, I had my ups and downs and currently I’mat a very big down. Each time I tried talking about it it got dismissed. I have been told that all I bring is negativity to this world. Each time I speak I feel like I am bothering the other person, therefore I barely speak now. Most of my days are spent quietly, staring at a wall, being a robot, go to work, do a chore barely, I’ll maybe go to the gym and then come home to sleep if I can. I do try to be better, it’s not like I want to be negative. But lately I am unable to express any joy or excitement, I have trouble smiling, concentrating, my movements are slow, any tiny task takes so much energy from me, sometimes I surprise myself to how I can manage to force myself into doing anything. I barely sleep and eat now, barely drink water. And whenever I say I’m not okay to my family or closest friends, it doesn’t get taken seriously. I don’t know why this is happening, I thought I was finally getting better. But I do believe that a part that plays is how lonely I also feel. I feel like my ideal life, my dreams are something that can’t be reached anymore, I will never find someone to share my life with, no matter how beautiful or smart I am. And I don’t understand why. Am I the problem or is the world a problem? Of course I don’t expect to find that answer here, that is something that maybe time can tell. What I do wonder is, for anyone that has been through severe depression, what has changed you, cured you? What is the thing that finally made you have hope and to feel alive? For anyone that is introverted and has a hard time making friends due to countless of trust issues, how do you defeat the loneliness? If you have read this far, thank you for listening 🙏🏻🌸

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