Azurdite Member Profile

...See more Hi! I downloaded this app on a whim. I just needed to talk and even writing this feels weird. But I usually don't talk to people outside of my family. I mean, talking to them is hard enough. But I have been feeling like I can't talk to them. I stammer and lisp and I always forget what to say or how to say it. I know in my mind I know what I want to say but it comes out in word vomit mush that seems to ever grow faster and faster. It makes me not want to talk to my family or anyone. What would other people think of me stammering constantly? I am just a blob of stammer. All I say is always the wrong thing even if I never intended to say it. Even if I try to speak slow or try to take a deep breath, it doesn't seem to work. I work at a daycare center where talking to my coworkers is essential yet, all I do is nod and say yes and sometimes say "hello." I've known them for over a year and still all I can say is simple phrases. When I do talk more to them, I can't get words out. I stammer and pause in the middle of a sentence. Then I'll explain the word and they will just nod and walk away. I had a panic attack before my first day of work because I would have to talk to people I didn't know. I feel like I should just stop talking and stay in the safe caccoon of my room. Maybe then I won't embarss anyone.

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