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BetterDreams657
1,077 M Little Steps 2
PathStep 48 Compassion hearts44 Forum posts12 Forum upvotes16 Current upvotes16 Age GroupAdult Last activeJanuary, 2024 Member sinceOctober 9, 2023
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How to help my dad deal with depression
Family & Caregivers / by BetterDreams657
Last post
 August 13th, 2024
...See more I’m sitting here in a hospital room for the 9th day. I’m watching my dad sink into a severe episode of depression. One when he says he feels hopeless but refuses to talk about it. Especially to the family. My father is back at the cardiac ward for the second time in 3 months. His original heart attack was devastating, and out of nowhere, at least two days before no one caught any warning signs. He’d been lively, active and appeared healthy for his age. While his heart was left very weak, it looked like he started to recover. Then things took a turn for worse. He didn’t have another heart attack, just his heart got weaker. He ended up in ICU, where they turned his physical recovery for the better, but there is a long road ahead, and no guarantees of any kind. He has suffered physical pain and all kinds of complications. Being sad and anxious is a normal response, but he seems to be a completely different person. I understand he comes from a place and time where mental health issues were a shame. And he refuses to consider any kind of medications or conversations to help. I don’t know how to talk to him about it any more, he will not open up to me, and he gets angry if anyone mentions potential treatment, and he shuts down completely. if anyone has any advice as how to approach this,please share. I have mentioned it to his doctors it I don’t feel comfortable talking about this if he is not willing to, and I’m not comfortable asking for help if he is not ready for it. I don’t know that I’m the right person even for him to talk to.
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Motivation, procrastination, anxiety
Motivation & Accountability / by BetterDreams657
Last post
 October 29th, 2023
...See more it seems like it’s always easy to get into the flow and do things when you feel inner motivation to complete the task. Then there is the outside pressure when there is a deadline and you’ve started working on things way too late. And my favorite kind, mix of anxiety, fear of failure and avoidant procrastination, usually by doing something related but not on the point. I struggle to keep the flow state going, or rather to start a new task more often than not, even though once I start, I enjoy working on that task. And last minute panic never renders full results, and I never finish anything early. Any thoughts on how to change that mindset, how to deal with the anxiety, especially when there are things happening in life that are dragging you down?
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Can you build a career up while being a care giver to parents?
Work & Career / by BetterDreams657
Last post
 October 18th, 2023
...See more I have a job that I like, it’s work from home mostly, and a boss supportive of my care giver role. I’m not that young anymore, although I feel I am, and I feel that I’ve missed my chance to build up a career I could have had based on all my previous performance. I also think that my boss can’t see me taking up more responsibilities and move to a more leading role due to family obligations, even though I have already proven myself a couple of times. And this could be me projecting, WFH has benefits but it also has one enormous draw back for me, that is feeling disconnected from people and events, and not being able to naturally develop the sense of what the team and company needs. I’m an extrovert with self reflection tendencies, so sitting alone with my projects never worked for me in the long run. I feel like all this is very constraining for further development and anything more than an average performance. I have plans upon plans for professional and personal development that mostly end in watching movies when I have some time to wind down. Not even able to read a book anymore, at least not for any sustained period of time. I know that my job provides me stability, security and time I need right now, but I do want to do it well and right now I feel it’s just a minimum and I’m falling back in my skills and knowledge.
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Afraid to bring my dad home from the hospital
Family & Caregivers / by BetterDreams657
Last post
 October 12th, 2023
...See more My father suffered a devastating heart attack, that came out of nowhere. And i have been primary care giver for my mom, while my dad helped. All that, I could somehow find a way to handle, but my brother destroyed his marriage during my dad’s hospital stay, and it most likely means that we all will be cut off from his family and my parent’s only grandchildren. My dad doesn’t know, but feels something is wrong. I am scared to no end about how this will end. For my dad and for my whole family. I don’t know what to do and how to help, I am exhausted from being the only care giver and emotional support and buffer. Trying to focus on a step at a time doesn’t help when you are under constant stress.
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