BigJCubed Member Profile

...See more Hey everyone - I am pretty new to 7 Cups and I am having some trouble with whether or not I should pursue a relationship with a girl. I have really been in my head overthinking this, and could use some clarity if anyone cares to comment about some advice for me since I don't really have someone to vent to at the moment. Details below: About 1.5 years ago, I asked a girl out on a date. I did this when my mental health was not good, as I was feeling lonely and thought that having a girlfriend would fix my problems. To my surprise, she said yes, and the date overall went pretty well. However, she told me right after the date that she was also dating someone else, and that she didn't think that pursuing a relationship with me would work out. I was also going to be studying abroad the next semester, and we mutually agreed that it would be best if we didn't end up being boyfriend/girlfriend because a long-term relationship would have been very difficult within our first 2 months of dating. From that date (November 2021) until 14 months later (January 2023), we had not talked or even texted at all, which I thought confirmed that she was definitely not interested in me. However, at the start of this year (January 2023), she reached out to me and asked me to go and grab dinner with her just to catch up and talk about life over the past year. I agreed, and it went well and I had a good time with her, but did not really think anything would happen from there. However, over these past two months, we have been hanging out just me and her 1 on 1 about once a week. Although I've really enjoyed spending time around her and being with her, I'm not really sure what her intentions with me are. I'm not sure if she's interested in pursuing a relationship now, or if she just wants to be closer friends like we used to be. I've been thinking a lot about what to do, but haven't been able to come up with any answers. I think that we would be good together, but I think there are some differences that we would need to iron out before dating. However, I don't want to force her into a relationship if she is only interested in being friends. She is currently single at the moment, and I don't know if she thinks that hanging out with me again is the beginning of a new relationship. As far as pursuing a relationship with her, I'm not really sure what to do. On one hand, I think we would be great together. We have a lot of the same interests, we have a lot of similar views on things in life with how we think about things, and we enjoy spending time with each other. She is also one of the nicest and most down-to-earth people that I have met. On the other hand, I think we do have some differences we would need to iron out. She is much more religious than I am, and I'm worried that my lack of understanding of how important it is to her could be a dealbreaker. I also think it is tough to have difficult conversations with her, as we have not talked about what happened when we pretty much split up and weren't friends for that 14-month period. I think vulnerability is an extremely important part of relationships, and I'm not sure if we can amend what happened in the past without honest conversations. Any advice is appreciated!

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