BlissfulElise Listener Profile

...See more I know I shouldn't be posting with my listener account, but I need to get some feelings out. I have not been officially diagnosed with BPD. This is for a number of reasons. 1. My mother has never taken my mental health seriously. My doctor has told her that I need to see a therapist if my anxiety gets worse. All things did was get worse and worse. 2. I feel like it's also my fault that I'm not in therapy. I'm so scared of what it'll be like. To be honest, I'm scared that I won't be able to open up to a therapist. Or that they'd hate me. I constantly feel hated by everyone around me. At this point I've started blocking people out of my personal life because I get attached. I get attached so quickly and it's like they don't even care. I put in so much effort to be around them because I cherish them, but then they walk away. I get ditched, stood up, bailed on. I crash. I completely break apart. Nobody will ever love me or care for me the same way I do for them, because they'll never understand how much they mean to me. I feel like others might not get attached the same way I do because I also push them away. If I'm in the right mood, I can spill my everything to someone I'm close with. Another time, I could want nothing to do with them. My best friend and I fight. A lot. One day in a really bad fight she yelled, "what the f*ck is wrong with you?!" And I lost it. My anger morphed into tears, because the truth is... I don't know. I don't know what's wrong with me, and I probably never will. I turned to research to figure out what's wrong. Before I had just dismissed it as anxiety with an anger problem. When I learned about BPD, it made sense. It felt like something actually suited the way I am. When I'm passive, I can be the most supportive and kind person, but when something goes wrong, I can flip entirely within a matter of seconds. Often times after these outbreaks I bang my head against the wall or impulsively hit my leg. There are bruises all up and down my legs from losing my mind. My mom constantly tells me, just fix your attitude, but it's not that easy. Maybe it's not just an attitude. My brother is bipolar, my sister had ocd when she was younger, and I'm pretty sure my mom has struggled with depression unknowingly. She also has problems with anger management. There have been times where she's thrown stuff, smashed stuff and even hit me once when she gets mad. I feel like it's not right for me to say I have BPD because it feels unfair to everyone who is struggling and has been formally diagnosed. I feel like nothing that I'm going through could compare to their recovery. For goodness sake, I'm 15. Borderline in teens isn't even acknowledged. To fix myself, I need to figure out what the problem is, but I can't even do that. Help. p.s. Sorry this was much longer than I expected. I just needed to get some stuff of my chest. Thank you for reading :)

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That was literally helpful for me

good listener and is very patient

she's very comforting and puts a lot of effort into writing her responses. thank you for helping me. is very good with dealing with bpd

She is a great listener and is very polite

She is a good listener.

It's amazing I love it!

elise is really friendly. tbh i was pretty nervous in the start but she is really friendly and optimistic. she completely changed her my mood. Glad that i talked to her.

Amazing Soul...she's a great person to talk to

Elise helped me to start dealing with the fear

It went pretty well. She's good at understanding issues.

Great at helping, actually knows what she’s doing.

Nice and calming

Really helpful and great at listening

shes really sweet and actually cares

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